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Thread: Is there any way to gain self-confidence ?

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    Is there any way to gain self-confidence ?

    Well, in short, let's say that in real, I'm not the kind of girl who has a lot of self-confidence.

    Are there any ways I can work on it? Sounds kinda dumb now that I'm writing it, but yea... I'm just not sure how to finally surpass the fear of being judged all the time.


    Serious answers guys, plz. ~

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    Quote Originally Posted by katzes View Post
    Well, in short, let's say that in real, I'm not the kind of girl who has a lot of self-confidence.

    Are there any ways I can work on it? Sounds kinda dumb now that I'm writing it, but yea... I'm just not sure how to finally surpass the fear of being judged all the time.


    Serious answers guys, plz. ~
    i've always been outgoing but the past two years from all the weed smokeing ive been doing i've developed a pretty annoying anxiety problem.
    and from their i was already outgoing before so i never had to meet new ppl on my own and shit.

    lately i've been having to meet ppl on my own, do things on my own. and i realized one thing. Everyones scared.
    everyones just as nervous as you are. I realized no one is judging (messing with adults here or young adults)
    in todays age their isnt really any bullies you have to be worried about when your in the 17-19 range.

    what has really been helping me though is thinking about these things. telling myself that they are just like me doing their own damn thing and dont have time to worry about mine.
    When it comes to talking to them, they are doing the same thing you are. no idea wtf to say or what the other person is gonna say.
    thats when you just be on your p's & q's and pay attention to what they say. there is nothing worse then not being able to communicate with adults without sounding like a dumbass chatspeak kid.

    these things helped me a lot. this is really quickly typed out, can get into further detail but you get the gist of it right?
    all in all, they are just like you. just as scared.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jdswatsup View Post
    i've always been outgoing but the past two years from all the weed smokeing ive been doing i've developed a pretty annoying anxiety problem.
    and from their i was already outgoing before so i never had to meet new ppl on my own and shit.

    lately i've been having to meet ppl on my own, do things on my own. and i realized one thing. Everyones scared.
    everyones just as nervous as you are. I realized no one is judging (messing with adults here or young adults)
    in todays age their isnt really any bullies you have to be worried about when your in the 17-19 range.

    what has really been helping me though is thinking about these things. telling myself that they are just like me doing their own damn thing and dont have time to worry about mine.
    When it comes to talking to them, they are doing the same thing you are. no idea wtf to say or what the other person is gonna say.
    thats when you just be on your p's & q's and pay attention to what they say. there is nothing worse then not being able to communicate with adults without sounding like a dumbass chatspeak kid.

    these things helped me a lot. this is really quickly typed out, can get into further detail but you get the gist of it right?
    all in all, they are just like you. just as scared.
    I also suffer from anxiety problems, and it just make everything worse lol.
    I just feel awkward when meeting new people. I never find anything to say to start a conversation and I always feel inferior.
    But the fact that I'm really tired of feeling that way is a start I guess. I really want to work on this and become a girl who trusts herself fully.

    Thanks for the help!

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    I was in group therapy a while ago, and one thing my therapist said was that people are really self absorbed, and they mostly only think about themselves. I guess we're like that too in a way, since we're focused on how everyone is judging us. You just have to realize that people mostly care about themselves and aren't busy judging you. :p A way to take the focus off of how people may be judging you is to imagine all the things they could actually be thinking about! It's fun to do this on the subway and make stories up for people haha.
    Anyways I hope you understood this, I'm still working on the whole feeling of being judging thing myself. It's hard and it takes time, but your self confidence does improve after a while!

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    It's funny how some people have confidence online, but when placed in face-to-face situations they find themselves a deer in the headlights.

    I'm naturally a very quiet person and for the longest time I had no friends because I was scared of what others thought of me. But I came to the conclusion back in my middle school years that this wasn't getting me very far. So I started what felt like taking huge risks: simply talking to people, and trying my best to abandon all worries. Because the truth is, the people you talk to are only temporary unless you choose otherwise. So if you feel judged inappropriately, abandon their hineys! Anyone who is going to 'judge' you so easily isn't worth your time anyway.

    And a little tip: You have to stop judging yourself first.

    I hope this helps and I answered your question accurately. <3

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    Re: Is there any way to gain self-confidence ?

    I had the biggest issue with this about 2 years ago. I was extremely unconfident in anything I could do, because I didn't think I could do anything special. Then, starting in 9th grade, I just changed my mindset. Instead of, "why can't I do anything?" it was "let me go make something happen on my own". I stopped waiting for opportunities to prove myself and created them myself. Another way that helped was improving my self image. I weighed close to 220 lb (100kg) in 8th grade and i was only 5ft8. I was extreeeemely unhealthy. Over the summer going into 9th grade, I decided I didn't want to live out my life like this. I know so many people who have wasted away, fat for life. I didn't want to join that crowd. Again, I created an opportunity for myself. Since then, I've dropped a lot of weight and gained muscle. Just that alone improves my confidence. I know that I am no longer a fat little child, I know that I had the resolve to make a difference with my body, and I know nothing can stop me if I put my mind to it. Before that, none of those thoughts existed. Me, choosing to make an opportunity in my life for the better, boosted my confidence because I have a peace of mind I didn't have before. Please, please don't take it the wrong way, I'm not saying you have to lose weight, but for me, it helped me gain confidence. Another thing which helped my self confidence was making friends. Obviously, school is the best place to do so. Even if you're shy about yourself, just say hi to a new person, strike up a conversation, and maybe get their number too. Just succeeding in this alone will make you feel better about yourself. Easier said then done, of course, but it's the little baby steps that count. Just a "hi" or "hello" can go a long way. I know you mentioned your conversation problems, don't worry about it, haha. Just let it flow, don't think too much (don't think too little either, LOL that's how enemies are made). All it takes is just creating a few opportunities for yourself. That's the key to the treasure.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Raj View Post
    I had the biggest issue with this about 2 years ago. I was extremely unconfident in anything I could do, because I didn't think I could do anything special. Then, starting in 9th grade, I just changed my mindset. Instead of, "why can't I do anything?" it was "let me go make something happen on my own". I stopped waiting for opportunities to prove myself and created them myself. Another way that helped was improving my self image. I weighed close to 220 lb (100kg) in 8th grade and i was only 5ft8. I was extreeeemely unhealthy. Over the summer going into 9th grade, I decided I didn't want to live out my life like this. I know so many people who have wasted away, fat for life. I didn't want to join that crowd. Again, I created an opportunity for myself. Since then, I've dropped a lot of weight and gained muscle. Just that alone improves my confidence. I know that I am no longer a fat little child, I know that I had the resolve to make a difference with my body, and I know nothing can stop me if I put my mind to it. Before that, none of those thoughts existed. Me, choosing to make an opportunity in my life for the better, boosted my confidence because I have a peace of mind I didn't have before. Please, please don't take it the wrong way, I'm not saying you have to lose weight, but for me, it helped me gain confidence. Another thing which helped my self confidence was making friends. Obviously, school is the best place to do so. Even if you're shy about yourself, just say hi to a new person, strike up a conversation, and maybe get their number too. Just succeeding in this alone will make you feel better about yourself. Easier said then done, of course, but it's the little baby steps that count. Just a "hi" or "hello" can go a long way. I know you mentioned your conversation problems, don't worry about it, haha. Just let it flow, don't think too much (don't think too little either, LOL that's how enemies are made). All it takes is just creating a few opportunities for yourself. That's the key to the treasure.
    Aw thank you Raj, it really helps.
    Now that you're talking about it, I'm actually very concerned about how I look like, and I can say that I'm not that happy with my physic.
    I wouldn't say I'm ''fat'', but I really wish I could lose weight.

    However, I have never really ''exercised'' seriously, and I don't know where to start... Is going at the gym the only option to lose weight ''fast'' ? Or is walking/jogging + doing some kind of exercises at home could also help?

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    Quote Originally Posted by katzes View Post
    Aw thank you Raj, it really helps.
    Now that you're talking about it, I'm actually very concerned about how I look like, and I can say that I'm not that happy with my physic.
    I wouldn't say I'm ''fat'', but I really wish I could lose weight.

    However, I have never really ''exercised'' seriously, and I don't know where to start... Is going at the gym the only option to lose weight ''fast'' ? Or is walking/jogging + doing some kind of exercises at home could also help?
    For me, I hated my weight and I was willing to take drastic measures to get rid of all that fat. So I found Insanity about last year and started it. No matter how tired I got, I kept going and it paid off. It's really challenging, though, and it's easy to get injured doing it, so I'd suggest being careful about it. Luckily nothing happened to me. I'd say start off slow, with something easier than that, like Power 90. (Not P90X, that thing's a bitch.) Power 90 is like the early stages of P90X with a ton easier exercises. I tried it, it was too slow paced for me so I said fuck it, but different strokes for different folks. c:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Raj View Post
    For me, I hated my weight and I was willing to take drastic measures to get rid of all that fat. So I found Insanity about last year and started it. No matter how tired I got, I kept going and it paid off. It's really challenging, though, and it's easy to get injured doing it, so I'd suggest being careful about it. Luckily nothing happened to me. I'd say start off slow, with something easier than that, like Power 90. (Not P90X, that thing's a bitch.) Power 90 is like the early stages of P90X with a ton easier exercises. I tried it, it was too slow paced for me so I said fuck it, but different strokes for different folks. c:
    I think Insanity cost something though, right?
    I'd like to stay with something free if possible, or I'd probably pay for gym.

    I'm running kinda low on money so that's why. D:

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    Self-confidence can't be easily and quickly gained.
    It can only come slowly with personal drive and experience to succeed, over time.

    Baby steps, k! Baby steps, bby!

    I'm no alpha myself at present, but definitely made big improvements in interacting with others, with strangers over my post-secondary years.
    When I was 18 and started uni, I was alone in a new city. I was a quiet kid (to non-friends) in HS too. I was a bad pussy boy.

    I didn't want to be a loner, and realized the only way to feel better and get what I wanted was to go out and grab it by the ballsack with my own two hands.
    My first attempts were embarrassing, particularly towards girls. Not even the heavenly blessed babes, just the average, decent girls.
    I would feel my face heating up just looking at them, my mouth go dry, and start to get a little weak as my heart was doing double-time.
    But I made the jump anyways and hollered at dose gurls.

    Secondly, I strongly agree with @jdswatsup's ideology. Don't elevate anyone to a different level of aptitude, just because they are strangers. Everyone's a stranger to everyone else, everyone (normal) is a scared poosie at heart (except for those clearly extrovert douchebags, you don't want to know them anyways). Behind every hot bitch who wears heels and cakes on the makeup, is the same bland ugly little girl when they wake up in the morning.

    Don't treat strangers differently, approach them like you would to a buddy. I do, the only thing I do differently when talking to new girls is to not throw out the cum & dick jokes (yet). Other than that, I speak what's on my mind freely. Much easier than composing some structured conversation ahead of time (that you'll likely mess up on anyways). Going back to what I said above, there are 2 kinds of people when it comes to social interaction. The hunters, and the hunted. Either you turtle and do shit, let others come to you and manhandle you, or you become the hunter and go to them - put the pressure on them, and have them open up to you. Be in control, k. Be the one to piitb.

    ---

    As for losing weight, I think you're fine. But you definitely have the potential to be HBB material.

    How about...eat less, exercise more?

    In more direct terms, starve yourself and go jogging/running like there's one copy of Pokemon Y left in town and you have to beat the kid next door to get it?!

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