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Thread: Babysitting

  1. #1
    Mojo's Avatar
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    Babysitting

    And I hate children x.x

    At least, most peoples' children.
    These guys talk in those whiny tones and never stop complaining
    I want to knock them into next week omg

    Keep me sane, please? ;~;

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    Daenery's Avatar
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    I have two little cousins. One of them was the sweetest, cutest, quietest kid ever. The other one was a crazy brat who liked to claw at my arms and pour the contents of his potty training pee bucket all over the floor.

    The sweet one grew up to be a spoiled, conniving, evil monster. The crazy one is the sweetest little jokester in the world, and loves to bring food to you and offer it politely out of affection.

    Kids are weird, weird things.

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    Kids are scary things.

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    Here's what you do:

    1. Grab them and place them on your lap, belly down.
    2. Pull their pants down
    3. Straighten your hand
    4. Thrust your hand, palm-side facing as hard as you can towards their buttocks, using the momentum generated from your forearm.
    5. As your palm is about to touch their buttocks, quickly veer it up and make impact with the backs of their heads instead.
    6. Scream "BAD DOG! BAD DOG!" as your hand makes contact with their heads.
    7. Repeat at least 2 more times, and more if necessary.

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    I just put them in front of a Pokemon rerun and hope for the best.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hinth View Post
    I just put them in front of a Pokemon rerun and hope for the best.
    Doing it right.

  11. #7



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    Gamertag: cathes Steam ID: 4thes
    Quote Originally Posted by Daenerys View Post
    I have two little cousins. One of them was the sweetest, cutest, quietest kid ever. The other one was a crazy brat who liked to claw at my arms and pour the contents of his potty training pee bucket all over the floor.

    The sweet one grew up to be a spoiled, conniving, evil monster. The crazy one is the sweetest little jokester in the world, and loves to bring food to you and offer it politely out of affection.

    Kids are weird, weird things.
    When I was a kid, I was surprisingly the worst kid ever, I swear. My sister honestly told me she would have abandoned me if she were my mom. (Sad moment, ew)

    But without being too narcissistic, I've grown up into that quiet, polite and adorable girl.

    However, I have a cousin who's older now and he has always been that little monster. Oh god, why.

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  13. #8
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    I'm forcing them to watch Disney movies with me instead.

    "BUT I WANT PANTHER PANTHER"

    i'm sorry, what? you want hercules? you got it, kid.

  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by katzes View Post
    When I was a kid, I was surprisingly the worst kid ever, I swear. My sister honestly told me she would have abandoned me if she were my mom. (Sad moment, ew)

    But without being too narcissistic, I've grown up into that quiet, polite and adorable girl.

    However, I have a cousin who's older now and he has always been that little monster. Oh god, why.
    LOL my sister and I used to say horrible things to each other, too. Me more than her, probably. xP
    I've always been rather reserved around new people even as a baby, and that hasn't changed. But my sister used to be a powerhouse of aggression. She used to bully other kids at the playground. It's amazing how quiet and shy she is nowadays. @_@

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