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Thread: sigh

  1. #1
    Mojo's Avatar
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    sigh

    Have you ever had a crush on someone when you're already in a relationship?

    If you haven't, just know that it's an awful feeling.

    I'm not talking about just like... Looking at someone like "oh youre hot oh wait i have a boyfriend" nope. This is someone from online that I've been talking to recently that I just can't get out of my head. ;~;

    And like... Dylan would be so jealous/upset that I even HAVE an online guy friend that I don't know what to say to him.
    He's very set on "forever" with me. But I just graduated high school. And while the thought of spending forever with someone is amazing, I'm just not sold. I don't want to hurt him because there are still feelings there, and I just... I don't know what to do.

    I don't want to stop talking to this online friend, either, because he's helped me get some bottled up feelings out and I just really appreciate that... Plus he's fun to talk to and I feel like I can be myself whenever he's online.

    Has anyone here been in a similar situation? If so, I could really use your help.

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    As soon as your bf goes snooping through your conversations, which he will, he won't appreciate it. JS. Been there been caught. It's awkward.

  3. #3
    Batgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mojo View Post
    Have you ever had a crush on someone when you're already in a relationship?

    If you haven't, just know that it's an awful feeling.

    I'm not talking about just like... Looking at someone like "oh youre hot oh wait i have a boyfriend" nope. This is someone from online that I've been talking to recently that I just can't get out of my head. ;~;

    And like... Dylan would be so jealous/upset that I even HAVE an online guy friend that I don't know what to say to him.
    He's very set on "forever" with me. But I just graduated high school. And while the thought of spending forever with someone is amazing, I'm just not sold. I don't want to hurt him because there are still feelings there, and I just... I don't know what to do.

    I don't want to stop talking to this online friend, either, because he's helped me get some bottled up feelings out and I just really appreciate that... Plus he's fun to talk to and I feel like I can be myself whenever he's online.

    Has anyone here been in a similar situation? If so, I could really use your help.
    oh god please don't turn into me.

    please pm me?

    I really don't want anything to hurt your relationship, but I've totally been there done that, and I'm sure most of cK knows it and it sucks.

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    Mojo's Avatar
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    @Maditude I know he won't... And that's why I'm asking for help, because I care about both of them and this has never happened before. I don't know what to do.

    @shadowbreakdown will do.

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    I feel you. I've been there before and man is that a toughie.

    All I can say is, really sit on the situation. Really think hard about it, and try to figure out what your heart wants and what you feel is the best for you.
    Your happiness is extremely important, and living a life unhappy... Well, is it really living at all?
    So that needs to be the first thing you address. Are you truly happy? Or are you just going with the motions, HOPING things will change for the better?

    Taking action to make the change is when things will start you open up and become more clear to you.

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    Batgirl's Avatar
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    Oh and just remember:

    Long distance relationships may sounds like a good idea, and you could be perfectly fine with it, but in reality: will you guys meet, and how long, and what if it doesn't work out?

    Is it worth losing the one who is there for you now, physically and emotionally?

    Things on the internet get very intimate, very fast.

    I experienced this and ended when I realized how badly it would hurt my bf, and I get that it's tempting but it'll never be what you want, at least not for quite some time.

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    Soul (06-15-2013)

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    I have a similar situation...
    Aaaand, all i can say you is..
    If you love your boyfriend... forget the online guy.

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    Batgirl (06-15-2013)

  10. #8



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    I too have been there. It can get confusing and super complicated, but what's important is...you need to do what's right for YOU. Don't let the opinions of others influence you. Hurting feelings sucks, but sometimes, there's no getting around it, and it's better to be honest in the end. I'm not saying make a decision on a whim, just take some time and figure out what it is you really want. Or rather, who you really want.

    I hope everything works out for you and you end up completely happy. Everyone deserves to be with someone who makes them feel comfortable and just...good inside.

    If you ever need someone to just vent to or whatever, I'm always around and willing to listen. I'm usually pretty good with helping out with other people's problems. It's my own I can't figure out. xD

  11. #9
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    Yes, long distance relationships are a huge hit or miss. Unless you actually feel something significant, then it's probably a miss. Most long distance relationships don't work out.

    Now, some do. And this could be one of those ones that do. But proceed with mass caution if you do pursue. And you have to really think about every pro/con and possibilities of the relationships.

  12. #10

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    I think one aspect that you really need to deal with that's very obvious is your boyfriends insecurity, from what I can tell that's one thing I am sure many people here would agree with me on effects your relationship in more ways than you'd actually imagine. I'm getting the hint that it's smothering you and really he kind of dictates the path of your relationship.

    I feel like a lot of "un-dealt with issues" you two may have, whether on your behalf or his is one of the reasons that allows this sort of "crush" thing to occur.

    You have this need to vent to this other person with these bottled up feelings, what I'm wondering is why your boyfriend isn't fulfilling these things instead of someone else.

    I'm sorry if this is rude or offensive in some way but I don't think the problems lies with this development of a crush with someone else. I think it's more of underlying problems that mean you're not getting what you're supposed to from the person you're with already.
    Last edited by Gray; 06-15-2013 at 08:30 PM.

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