Do you sometimes feel underappreciated for the things that you do?

[Mai]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place, I haven't been here in a while!

I have been working for my company for a rather long time. Unfortunately I have been passed over for promotion several times due to them "not needing an extra person in that role". That also means I don't get a raise, and my bonus is lesser because my position is lower. Yet I feel I have been doing my job and then some. He instead promotes the people who like to go talk to him, complain about their jobs/clients, and he tells me it's because he "sees the work they do" more than the work I do because I do it quietly. I'm just not that kind of person...

So here I am, stuck in this position, unable to move forward. I don't want to quit because this is the one place I get to work on the things I like, and it's really scarce where I am from.

I am required to work with clients, and they give my boss really good feedback about all the things I have done for them. My boss doesn't even let me know about this. My colleagues who had access to the documents were the ones who were letting me know that the feedback for me was great. Just knowing this makes my job feel a little better though.

I wish he'd just give more words of encouragement. Maybe then I won't dread going into the office.

I think it's really important to let people who quietly do their work know that you see them out there. If you feel the same way, please know that I appreciate you for what you do!

[I_royalty_I]

Sounds like the old saying - the squeaky wheel gets the oil.
Maybe just follow what works and see if anything changes. In my old position, they were extremely stingy with raises and bonuses. The govt gave a 3-5% increase per position (contracting) and my company would usually take it all for themselves and tell us they couldn’t afford bonuses that year. I had to threaten to leave, other offer in hand, before they’d give me a raise. It’s really a social game as well. It depends who you know, what they say about you. You don’t have to be obvious about it and all in the bosses face, but let them know you’re there and you’re killing it. If you gotta complain or be a bit more social, that’s whatcha gotta do. The flip side - you could always look elsewhere. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side!

My current position is amazing. I’m at a “senior” level position but don’t feel senior at all compared to my peers. They are all very supportive and I make it known that I’m willing to help with anything and learn/try anything new. My director had a 1 hour meeting about mental health and making sure we are taking breaks to eat, run errands, meditate for 20mins, shower, or just relax throughout the day. He said he wants to avoid burnout and make sure our team stays happy and ready to do big things. That was a crazy mindset after my last position - but these jobs are out there!

[Mai]

@(you need an account to see links) Your job sounds so amazing! I wish that was the norm rather than the exception. To be honest I have been feeling rather burnt out recently, but every time I hear when people leave they don't necessarily get a better job elsewhere. Sometimes they wish they could come back. Right now my peers are great but my bosses are the ones that are the problem. It's just really scary to take that leap.

So for now I might just continue on, but maybe try to talk to my boss a bit more in hopes that he will finally see what I can bring to the table. Being social is so hard.

But I will take hope in there being the right job for me out there, and if I really cannot take it any longer I will go look for it! Thank you for the encouragement!

[I_royalty_I]

@(you need an account to see links) Your job sounds so amazing! I wish that was the norm rather than the exception. To be honest I have been feeling rather burnt out recently, but every time I hear when people leave they don't necessarily get a better job elsewhere. Sometimes they wish they could come back. Right now my peers are great but my bosses are the ones that are the problem. It's just really scary to take that leap.

So for now I might just continue on, but maybe try to talk to my boss a bit more in hopes that he will finally see what I can bring to the table. Being social is so hard.

But I will take hope in there being the right job for me out there, and if I really cannot take it any longer I will go look for it! Thank you for the encouragement!

This position is really amazing. I’m so glad I made the leap. My old job was getting stale and I was feeling stuck. My new position, they don’t even hesitate to send me to full week long trainings so I can get spun up on new stuff we are rolling out. My old job would not have even considered that. I guess that’s the difference between a govt contractor position and the public sector.

I feel very lucky because this job turned out so well. I recognize that I have a long way to go to truly feel comfortable in my role, but I know that I will eventually get there. Just gotta be persistent and always learning.

I’ll leave you with this - don’t let your fear hold you back. I’ve had to talk my wife through this too. It’s something I realized after having multiple jobs. You might be hesitant because your team is great and you love working with them and doubt you’ll find that again. That’s not true! I’d say in general, you get the energy you give. If you’re a team player and actually WANT to work, you will meet amazing people who are like you and will be excited you’re on the team. Don’t be afraid to take the leap. If you’re worried now - play it smart. Start casually looking for a new position. If you’re /comfortable/ enough where you are now, you have time and are able to be picky. Update your resume, contact info, set alerts for positions you might want. I was getting hit up daily by recruiters, still do.. actually just blocked a call 10mins ago. Most are junk and they probably didn’t even read your resume. Every now and then you’ll get a real gem that you want to run down. Keep your options open and if you find something, take the leap and give it a try!

[Excalibur]

Reading roylaty's response and putting some of my .2 cents. I feel that you should most definitely see whats out there. Complacent is a mood... but to grow is to be uncomfortable. Im sure what you do is great... but if these guys havent seen your worth time to dip. I was so afraid to go out there at one point in life. Taking that leap is a big big big step!! You will have so many supportive people though. I used to be underappreciated in one part of my work place. i switched positions and now im a manager just 2 years later... environment, peers, everything around you makes a difference. see whats out there! go on interviews if time permits. Youre doing great and shame on them for not seeing your worth. Hope you come back with some exciting news soon <3

[Hawking]

One of the most important things I've learned in my professional career is that you have to accept that its okay to move on to new jobs. At the end of the day, you do not owe that company anything. They need to retain YOU.

Your job is not your entire life. If you are consistently stressing about your job outside of work hours, its time to move on. If you are taking on the roles and responsibilities of others with no financial compensation, its time to move on.

[Flordibel]

I'm sorry that you're going through this! This happened to me at my previous job. The company would cycle through managers, so I had a new manager each year or so, none of whom had any indication of the "big wins" (or "feathers in my cap," as one manager put it) that I'd accomplished previously.

I'm not a person who brags about my accomplishments by nature - not in a professional setting, anyway! - so learning how to do that was really hard. Essentially, what I started doing was keeping a list of accomplishments and positive feedback I'd gotten as they happened. I can never recall things in the moment (say, if I'm trying to give an example to my boss of a cool thing I did), but being able to walk into my review with a list of everything I'd done proved that I WAS doing stuff, even if I didn't talk to anyone about it. And that way, it's on the record the next time you get passed over - "Hey, I did all these things, and I'm STILL getting the short end of the stick?"

I'd also ask your boss to pass along that feedback to you. That's the bare minimum they can do for you as a manager. If their management style isn't working with how you need to "be managed" (I use that term loosely), then that's on them! They're in the privileged role and they should work with you to make your job better. Again, that's the bare minimum of their job responsibilities as a manager. I had to tell mine that I needed positive affirmations and encouragement: like, sorry, that's just the way I work! If I don't feel appreciated, or like I'm contributing anything of value, then there's no impetus for me to work. My second-to-last manager saw that dire warning for what it was and worked with me to change her management style... until she moved teams and I got another manager. xD

[Teakwood]

As someone who just accepted another job, and was in your shoes in the previous one. This one hits home to me on so many levels. I was consistently passed up for promotions, and the last one was with one of my abusers. Which I made known and had ongoing investigations against.

I think the final straw was during my yearly eval, I went in with a list of accomplishments like Flordibel did as well, and everything I said was shot down with things that I could work on. No praise, no recognition. Just a, well we know you've been doing this, but here is what you need to work on. That kind of bullshit. I was given a 2% raise. A huge slap in the face.

Once I started looking for other positions, and found one. My manager wasn't shocked, and didn't even try to say something to keep me. Just, "well, it is what it is". Not even his boss tried contacting me, so I knew in that moment. I made the right decision.

Looking elsewhere is scary, but you have to look out for yourself first and foremost. Your own mental health is way more important than anything that you will do in life. Protect it at all costs, because you're the only one who sleeps with *your* thoughts at night.

[Nattiee]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. As someone who finds a lot of fulfillment from being really good at what they do, it's super demotivating and defeating to feel like you're giving it 200% and getting zero recognition in return. Definitely echoing the sentiments of the others who've already posted but sometimes you need to teach people how to treat you. Coaching up is a skill to fine-tune. Tell your manager what you need. I think it's also important to be (respectfully) transparent and hold your manager accountable to your progression as much as they expect you to be accountable for it. It never hurts to ask what they specifically need to see for X to happen and then be prepared to come with examples of how you did it.

No one is going to be a bigger advocate for you than yourself. I hope this passes soon and you get the recognition you deserve for the effort you've put into your job.

[Mai]

I just want to thank everyone who has responded to my post! I read through everything and it really helps me put some things into perspective. It is encouraging to know that people who have been in this same position have now found better places and are much happier. It seems like I will have to first talk with my manager a bit and then see how to proceed from there. I do want to stay in this company if I am able to, but sometimes it might just be time to move on to greater heights!

@(you need an account to see links) - I'm so happy to hear that you got such a great job after leaving a bad one! I hope I do come back with exciting news!

@(you need an account to see links) - It's true, a lot of places unfortunately still have that mindset where them giving you a job is a favor and you owe them everything. I will see where my company stands before I decide if I should move on.

@(you need an account to see links) - It's great to hear that managers are willing to work with people to change their management style! I am hoping that my manager does the same. He seems to compliment the ones that complain more, probably in an effort to pacify them, but he completely ignores the ones that quietly do their work well. I hope your current job environment is better!

@(you need an account to see links) - Congrats on your new job!! I'm sure it is going to be way better than what you had to go through at your previous place. They sound like they have become complacent and I hope they suffer without you being there. (Sorry if it's mean but they deserve it!) I will first have that chat with my manager during my evals and see where it goes. I will protect my mental health at all costs!

@(you need an account to see links) - Yes, it really is very hard to feel motivated to do anything well if working hard gets me nowhere. I will definitely have a chat with my manager and see how it goes from there! I hope that at least he sees what I contribute to the team and starts to learn how to make people feel good for the effort they put into their jobs.