Loneliness

[Cat Purrson]

I am so sorry to hear that it saddens you, I am lucky to have one friend that still stand by me (most of the time, guy pretty much like me lol) then I guess I am still friend with my ex.

Anyway, I hope you find some friends (if that's what you want)

I've been trying to make more online friends now adays, for some reason I connect more easily with them xD

Same! I love my online friends so much and it fills the void I have for my lack of irl friends. Personally, I feel it's much easier to find people you connect with online than in person!

[hellraid]

It really does feel the void, to me it's a shame though in one way. If you ask me I just wish one could put all those people with no pressure at all at the same place and everyone could just hang out.

[birdies]

I relate hard, I'm super lonely much of the time. I get what you mean by the emptiness, which for me at least feels distinctive from the normal depression emptiness.

I'm pretty shy and very introverted, it takes a lot for me to reset following social gatherings. I also dealt with pretty severe social anxiety for a long time, though I've mostly worked through that. Those three combined are not the most conducive to fighting loneliness. Was also in an emotionally abusive relationship that caused a lot of isolation despite being long-distance. Therapy helped a ton with the anxiety, though I'm not sure if I'll ever fully shed the feeling of always taking up too much space and like everybody is one step away from hating me. Having a better understanding of what it actually means to be introverted helped me manage balancing social time and me time a lot better than I had been.

I've found that my overall loneliness levels and vary a lot, depending on what city I was living in and what kinds of things were occupying my free time. The pandemic really switched things up, and then moving to a new city was incredibly challenging. Strangely, I was actually in a really great place and felt better and more connected to people than I had in my life for a couple years until I got a non-COVID respiratory infection early last year. I lost a lot as a result of that in a few different ways, so it's been pretty rough the last year (though not just loneliness-wise).

This sounds so familiar.

When I went to university my anxiety was so bad that I had to leave the halls of residence and move out on my own, and then I used to take the train in and some days I would just go back and forward on the train and never get off because the idea of going in to class would give me a panic attack.

I got much better for a while but honestly the pandemic combined with some fresh health issues and trauma has set me back a lot, I really find myself struggling with anxiety and panic. But I managed to improve on it before, hopefully I will again.

[Predict]

I can totally relate with your post @(you need an account to see links).

I would consider myself an ambivert however in my 20s I was 100% an extrovert. I've lost contact with a majority of my closest IRL friends over the last 5 years mainly due to all of us growing up, interests changing, different career fields which l think is all normal in a sense.

I also don't really have a family to lean on and I became independant when l was 19 (I'm 32 now) so I kind of embrace the loneliness and instead choose to channel it into the 2 main things I care about which is my Career & my Fitness and that has made me incredibly strong mentally. There's been a LOT of ups and downs and when l look at the last 10-15 years, I tend to think when things are going well they go really well, but when things go badly they tend to be really negative times, yet somehow I just keep fighting on with whatever challenge life throws at me.

The loneliness for me is more so on the family part. I haven't spoken to my parents in over a year now and sometimes that does weigh on my mind. After my team was made redundant in February I went into a really deep depression which to an extent Im still going through (I've gotten better recently since I'm starting to get traction with interviews in my field again), however I think the depression stemmed from realising that if the worst was to happen to me financially, in that sense I'm alone and family wouldn't be able to help me. That led me to having some really dark thoughts which I've never experienced before (I believe you also made a post about this recently as well).


My advice would be to try to find and pursue hobbies that you have an interest in. My definition of "friend" has changed a lot over the years especially after the pandemic, however I've met a looot of people at my main gym and it happened organically through our shared passion for fitness. You can definitely meet people through a shared hobby and you'll be surprised how fun it is to discuss something you both enjoy (kinda like our cK community!).


Appreciate your posts!

[hellraid]

I can totally relate with your post @(you need an account to see links).

I would consider myself an ambivert however in my 20s I was 100% an extrovert. I've lost contact with a majority of my closest IRL friends over the last 5 years mainly due to all of us growing up, interests changing, different career fields which l think is all normal in a sense.

I also don't really have a family to lean on and I became independant when l was 19 (I'm 32 now) so I kind of embrace the loneliness and instead choose to channel it into the 2 main things I care about which is my Career & my Fitness and that has made me incredibly strong mentally. There's been a LOT of ups and downs and when l look at the last 10-15 years, I tend to think when things are going well they go really well, but when things go badly they tend to be really negative times, yet somehow I just keep fighting on with whatever challenge life throws at me.

The loneliness for me is more so on the family part. I haven't spoken to my parents in over a year now and sometimes that does weigh on my mind. After my team was made redundant in February I went into a really deep depression which to an extent Im still going through (I've gotten better recently since I'm starting to get traction with interviews in my field again), however I think the depression stemmed from realising that if the worst was to happen to me financially, in that sense I'm alone and family wouldn't be able to help me. That led me to having some really dark thoughts which I've never experienced before (I believe you also made a post about this recently as well).


My advice would be to try to find and pursue hobbies that you have an interest in. My definition of "friend" has changed a lot over the years especially after the pandemic, however I've met a looot of people at my main gym and it happened organically through our shared passion for fitness. You can definitely meet people through a shared hobby and you'll be surprised how fun it is to discuss something you both enjoy (kinda like our cK community!).


Appreciate your posts!

This was such a nice post, thank you for sharing. Also sorry about your whoe family situation. Hopefully you can talk more often to each other in the future!

[Delibird]

Oddly enough, been feeling this way for about a month. Happened after my birthday end of April. Just became a recluse from social aspects / gatherings.

Not sure if it's just time I need for myself or reset my energy but it's been really low and rough.

Can relate easily @(you need an account to see links) I know things get better with time but it's a weird time for a lot of people right now as well so I understand completely.

[hellraid]

Oddly enough, been feeling this way for about a month. Happened after my birthday end of April. Just became a recluse from social aspects / gatherings.

Not sure if it's just time I need for myself or reset my energy but it's been really low and rough.

Can relate easily @(you need an account to see links) I know things get better with time but it's a weird time for a lot of people right now as well so I understand completely.

Strange isn't it? But also in one way I think we push towards a more "lonely" society. Thanks for posting, always nice to see what other people think

[kittyray]

@(you need an account to see links) I'm glad it was able to help. <3

@(you need an account to see links) damn, reading through a couple of your posts, seems like we've got similar experiences, both from your reply and a couple things you mentioned in your other posts, especially stuff like health setbacks, but also stuff like friends all moving separate places.

@(you need an account to see links) I also haven't made any IRL friends since moving to my current city in 2021, a few acquaintances, but nobody I've hung out with more than a couple of times. And now it's time to move again, oops.

[Bulbasaur]

Im actually experiencing this right now.
Well, I have been for a few years

I love talking to my friends and family, and it helps. But I tend to feel so lonely and empty.
But I feel its due to being single. I try to put myself out there and try my best to meet people, but I always seem to scare people away.
Hell, I feel I even scare friends away. I always think I made a new friend to chat and maybe play games with, and I stop hearing from them after a few days.

It also just comes down to feeling used as well. I get to know someone, we talk, we hang (if it be in RL or a game), (my love language is giving gifts) I give them gifts then after I do ...POOF
But that's my fault I guess

In the end, being alone stinks lol
I just want to be able to find someone to play games with, be lazy with, talk about the newest LoZ/Mario/Pokemon games with, be a nerd with and just be all around comfortable.

And as of late.... it seems people are afraid to be near me or even talk to me.
Its not like they're going to catch it.

[hellraid]

Im actually experiencing this right now.
Well, I have been for a few years

I love talking to my friends and family, and it helps. But I tend to feel so lonely and empty.
But I feel its due to being single. I try to put myself out there and try my best to meet people, but I always seem to scare people away.
Hell, I feel I even scare friends away. I always think I made a new friend to chat and maybe play games with, and I stop hearing from them after a few days.

It also just comes down to feeling used as well. I get to know someone, we talk, we hang (if it be in RL or a game), (my love language is giving gifts) I give them gifts then after I do ...POOF
But that's my fault I guess

In the end, being alone stinks lol
I just want to be able to find someone to play games with, be lazy with, talk about the newest LoZ/Mario/Pokemon games with, be a nerd with and just be all around comfortable.

And as of late.... it seems people are afraid to be near me or even talk to me.
Its not like they're going to catch it.

I am so sorry to hear that it feels like people are afraid to be near you, that fucking sucks. I understand your situation though and what you are talking about. It's rough. Wishing you all the best and hopefully you get what you need. I know you will! Thanks for sharing