OH MY GOD. I am in the same boat as you.
I live in an EXTREMELY liberal, progressive, leftist state (Portland, OR).
And I've always been an independent thinker, but I still thought I identified as a leftist.
Then, recently, I finally discovered the truth, and the reason for the uncomfortable feeling I'd get whenever I hear political discussion around me: I AM THE OPPOSITE OF LEFTIST. Or perhaps the polar opposite, l.ol. I don't actually know what label I'd subscribe to yet.
But for now, I finally see that the people around me are goddamn ignorant, self-centered fools.
And this is why I have no friends.
"EXCUSE ME. I'm not a he/she/ I'm a TREE. PLEASE RESPECT MY PRONOUN AND CALL ME TREE. No, not a tree... Pronouns, people~ I AM SPECIAL AND I AM A POLITICAL OBJECT. Hahahahah"
"Everybody is special, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE LGBTQ-NBABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP.... You are special! YOU ARE SPECIAL! You believe in all the bullshit that tells you you're better than everyone else! You DESERVE THIS! You're ENTITLED TO THIS! This is the political package you bought, along with the rest of the subservient, sheep who make up this population!"
alskdjfalskdjfls I'm not doing my position any justice right now. But this is a rant. I'm sick of politics.
I will never debate them outside of a formal debate setting. EVER.