Irohh (06-05-2017)
Irohh (06-05-2017)
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Chegg
its very late so sorry in advance if i get this wrong. this situation is always tricky because you cant be sure of how people will respond to your admission, especially when the phobia seems harmless and uneducated. one of the pieces of advice i usually give people who are worried about their parents not being okay with them coming out, is to ease them into the idea of lgbt people, and let them know that some of their favourite celebrities are lgbt, and gauge their reaction to you coming out to them based on their reaction to those comments. confrontation terrifies me too, so i get not wanting to say shit to anyone in case it causes problems, so its maybe easier to just... educate them slowly, maybe slow enough that they dont know thats what youre doing, but dont come out unless you feel youre safe. homophobia can be tough to deal with, but its much easier to hang on with homophobic comments every once in a while than have dangerous people know what you are. you really dont know what lengths people will go to to harm those they dont tolerate for whatever reason.
if youre worried about making her feel bad, i say... dont. she makes you feel bad all the time with these comments, whats it going to hurt to tell her shes really been upsetting you for this long? your feelings are extremely important here, you need to understand that, and not wanting to hurt her feelings once shouldnt be the reason you allow her to hurt your feelings over and over again. please take your own feelings into account and dont prioritise anyone elses if it means youre going to be continually hurt by it.
because of ignorant comments like this. thats why we need a thread.
heres the thing: when youre lgbt, youre inherently unsafe and at constant risk of violence or discrimination, be it directed at you, or comments like this where it all boils down to 'im SO uncomfortable when lgbt people want to stop living in fear!'. the 'out and proud' mentality stems from years of oppression and violence, and is largely brought to us by brave trans women (and others, but lest we forget that stonewall was instigated mostly by trans women), and we need to keep reminding people that we do exist and we really dont feel the need to be afraid.
'shoving our identities down your throat' is nothing of the sort. what we are doing is existing, and existing in the exact same way straight, cisgender people do without even realising. a heterosexual man kissing and touching a heterosexual woman in public is considered okay, but as two women or two men kiss each other in public, it becomes a political statement and its all about us 'shoving it down peoples throats'. why? why are we inappropriate? why are we automatically politically charged just by existing? please tell me that, because it's never us who bring politics into it. were just trying to exist, its people like you who have an issue with it.
defining yourself as straight doesnt carry weight. it will not get you kicked out by your parents, or roommates, or beaten in the street for 'looking too straight', or anything like that. being lgbt in any way is a constant struggle when youre not even trying to make it a struggle. i want to hold my girlfriends hand in public, i want to kiss her in public, and i want to tell her i love her in public, just like the straight people do, but because im seen by most as a 'butch lesbian', ill get told off for it, sometimes with sexually charged violence, or catcalls, or just straight up reminders that im disgusting and so is my girlfriend for wanting me. my only solace lies in that its not obvious im transgender, so ill only get attacked for being gay, not trans, and my girlfriend will get the same treatment and remain 'safe' because shes not caught going out with a trans person.
the 'out and proud' mentality comes with... well, were so sick of being talked about like youre talking about us! it hurts! why cant we be normal? why cant we be happy with who we are without people like you immediately hating us for it? people fought for our right and safety and security in being able to express ourselves publicly, and people like you still exist to make us feel disgusting for it. were so sick of feeling disgusting and wrong! people didnt fight for us to continue to be scared because of people like you who just hate us for being happy and different.
labels are important because we didnt ever fight just to be told were just like everyone else, after weve been told were freaks and sinful and disgusting for years- centuries, even, because that just erases everything we worked our asses off for. pride is to remind people that we worked hard to be where we are now and were still nowhere near happy or safe. some countries are only just CONSIDERING allowing gay people to be allowed out in public! to most people im jsut a fetish and not a person, to most people im a political statement and im 'so brave' for existing and being objectified and politicised when im just trying to hold hands with my girlfriend in public JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HETEROSEXUAL IS DOING ON A NEAR CONSTANT BASIS is so disgusting and dehumanising and makes me feel more like a freak than just being left alone does.
well stop making topics like these when people stop throwing fits like you just did over the idea were sick of people like you. do you see where the loop begins? do you see where the frustration begins? we cant be normal because you refuse to see us as anything but a political statement and something to be shoved down your throat or whatever the fuck. were just trying to educate people so we can exist happily like you do and maybe stop being such a fucking inconvenience to you.
im really fucking sick of heteros blaming us for the oppression they put us through for so long, blaming us for wanting to be free of it, blaming us for just trying to live in an environment they made unsafe for us to begin with.
Corvid (06-16-2017),♥ Decepticon ♥ (06-05-2017),lilcece (06-05-2017),Ms M. (06-08-2017),Persephone (06-08-2017),Saturn (06-05-2017),Synth Salazzle (06-04-2017)
I have questions and asking for advice, if possible. I'm doing a research project and we're still fine-tuning the research question. Answer if applicable, obviously.
We are looking at inclusivity in makeup brands for LGBTQ and POC.
If you or anyone uses makeup, do you gravitate towards brands you know are LGBTQ friendly? Such as having a LGBTQ spokesperson, models, collaborations, or ads? I guess this honestly goes for clothing, technology, etc.
We are sticking for sure with makeup and inclusivity, but so far do you think this is a good topic to look at or unreasonable? If you could restructure the research question, would you?
I FEEL LIKE IM POSTING HERE SO MUCH LMAO but
i dont think inclusivity in makeup is unreasonable. i personally tend to gravitate towards lgbt friendly, or at the least not outwardly lgbt phobic (the bar is so damn low at times), and i know that can be harder with makeup aimed at poc considering, to begin with, theres barely any brands suitable for poc, and i know that the beauty industry doesnt often accept lgbt people, particularly trans women who might use their products. im pretty sure jefree star or whatever that freaks name is is VERY transmisogynistic and outwardly so, and i know a fair many people who have completely boycotted his makeup business because of comments hes made on instagram and the like that were just hateful.
i think purism and boycotting works when it comes to makeup and money in general, because i know a lot of lgbt people are broke as hell, and spending money on a brand to give someone/a group of people that hate you a cut of the profit? doesnt sit well with most. most of the time poc dont have a choice though, so its either go without makeup or give those that hate you profit. its a hard decision. ive had a friend tell me it feels like betrayal to themselves and everyone in their communities, because theyre giving people money for being intolerant just so they can look pretty in public and maybe not get fuckin beat to death for looking too manly. vanity for safety or product purism is a tough choice to make, especially when most circles arent very kind towards people who dont boycott phobic companies.
people might think that pride events and showing support towards pride by companies is 'shoving it down peoples throats' but for me, personally, buying a product from a company who puts a rainbow background on their twitter icon makes me feel a whole lot less awful than buying from one whos ceo donates billions to anti-lgbt campaigns and conversion camps. although thats a whole other can of worms when you think about it, considering companies like dove will manipulate this mindset with their LOVE YOUR BODY campaigns running while their axe body spray ads spout nothing but misogyny and sometimes rape culture. everything is capitalist manipulation if you think about it, but LIKE I SAID thats a whole other topic.
but in saying all that, its topics you can touch on all the same, so its not like youre going for something so niche you cant find info on it. this is a topic a lot of lgbt people, lgbt poc or poc allies included, have some form of opinion on, and if you dont feel your question is the right one (though i wouldnt change it myself PERSONALLY) theres still topics and questions along the same line of debate and thinking that will bring in answers.
Views (06-05-2017)
No, I'm pretty sure your response to this is why that user commented. You're right-off-the-bat nasty.
If you listen to every person in the world, this statement is true. Go be North Korean for a day. I'm sure someone calling you a name will totally make them feel better about their plight
heres the thing: when youre lgbt, youre inherently unsafe and at constant risk of violence or discrimination,
No one is uncomfortable with anyone coming out and being unafraid. At all. The fact that you think anyone thinks this just shows how far out of the headset with society you are.be it directed at you, or comments like this where it all boils down to 'im SO uncomfortable when lgbt people want to stop living in fear!'.
There is only one group of people politically charging your side and for the sake of keeping this on topic, I'll roll my eyes since the biggest political groups in the country avidly flaunt their sexuality as a means of support.'shoving our identities down your throat' is nothing of the sort. what we are doing is existing, and existing in the exact same way straight, cisgender people do without even realising. a heterosexual man kissing and touching a heterosexual woman in public is considered okay, but as two women or two men kiss each other in public, it becomes a political statement and its all about us 'shoving it down peoples throats'. why? why are we inappropriate? why are we automatically politically charged just by existing? please tell me that, because it's never us who bring politics into it. were just trying to exist, its people like you who have an issue with it.
There's a wiki page of LGBT-driven "LITERALLY BEATING US AND MURDERING US IN TEH STREETS" page and it's maybe... 100 cases across the globe, not counting muslim countries because those aren't hate-crimes there. I'm sure there are a few more not mentioned because it wasn't driven by the fact that they were LGBT. But those numbers are not even on a scale when compared to how many LGBT people there actually were. I can compile a giant list of children who murdered their families, and make it like all children are on a rampage and you shouldn't have kids because they'll murder you in your sleep. If you're in America/Canada, you're just as safe as everyone else. Stop reacting like this is communist Russia and everyone is being lynched. That's not the case. No one wants to kill you.beaten in the street for 'looking too straight'
Then freaking do it!!! You think everyone agrees with how I go out in public?? You think I don't get honked at and whistled at on a daily basis for running in my workout clothes?? Everyone has to deal with the assholes in society. Sexually charged violence? Really? If someone assaults you, call the damn cops. That's not allowed towards anyone.i want to hold my girlfriends hand in public, i want to kiss her in public, and i want to tell her i love her in public, just like the straight people do, but because im seen by most as a 'butch lesbian', ill get told off for it, sometimes with sexually charged violence, or catcalls, or just straight up reminders that im disgusting and so is my girlfriend for wanting me.
I'm done quoting each and every line... I'm already expecting a warning for this, but whatever. Stop blaming everyone for the actions of a few dickheads. I'm in the military and I've dealt with the dredges of society. Men who have raped Japanese girls, guys who have beat up Thai prostitutes, women who have sexually assaulted other women on deployments, gay, bi, lesbian, and I've even dealt with the assault of a transitioning MtF, and you know what all of those people had in common? They were attacked by singular people acting like assholes. The victims were absolutely supported 100% by society and protected from the criminals. If you're being sexually attacked for walking down the street, you have recourse. If you're being stared at and people are saying mean things... get over it. We all deal with it. Hell, last week when i was filling up my gas tank, some inbred hick yelled at me to "get my fine country ass over there". Wanna know what i didn't do? Acknowledge the idiot or make a big deal out of it.my only solace lies in that its not obvious im transgender, so ill only get attacked for being gay, not trans, and my girlfriend will get the same treatment and remain 'safe' because shes not caught going out with a trans person.
the 'out and proud' mentality comes with... well, were so sick of being talked about like youre talking about us! it hurts! why cant we be normal? why cant we be happy with who we are without people like you immediately hating us for it? people fought for our right and safety and security in being able to express ourselves publicly, and people like you still exist to make us feel disgusting for it. were so sick of feeling disgusting and wrong! people didnt fight for us to continue to be scared because of people like you who just hate us for being happy and different.
labels are important because we didnt ever fight just to be told were just like everyone else, after weve been told were freaks and sinful and disgusting for years- centuries, even, because that just erases everything we worked our asses off for. pride is to remind people that we worked hard to be where we are now and were still nowhere near happy or safe. some countries are only just CONSIDERING allowing gay people to be allowed out in public! to most people im jsut a fetish and not a person, to most people im a political statement and im 'so brave' for existing and being objectified and politicised when im just trying to hold hands with my girlfriend in public JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HETEROSEXUAL IS DOING ON A NEAR CONSTANT BASIS is so disgusting and dehumanising and makes me feel more like a freak than just being left alone does.
well stop making topics like these when people stop throwing fits like you just did over the idea were sick of people like you. do you see where the loop begins? do you see where the frustration begins? we cant be normal because you refuse to see us as anything but a political statement and something to be shoved down your throat or whatever the fuck. were just trying to educate people so we can exist happily like you do and maybe stop being such a fucking inconvenience to you.
im really fucking sick of heteros blaming us for the oppression they put us through for so long, blaming us for wanting to be free of it, blaming us for just trying to live in an environment they made unsafe for us to begin with.
Honestly, everyone has got to stop making a big deal out of things. You say you want to be treated normally, well my love, normal people don't demand special treatment, host half-naked pride parades with pornographic displays of indecency, and we don't make a big deal out of our lives.
My honest-to-goodness best advice, and you can take this or just call me a bigot, is to just IGNORE the meanies. You will not force everyone to love you. You will not make everyone accept you. You will not garner any support by being militant and nasty.
I promise you from the bottom of my heart, if I ever see someone being beat up for any reason at all, I step in. I do it all the time and I'm not the only person. No one should stand for anyone being assaulted and according to your previous posts, we're all the enemy. Straight people are the devil and we make your lives unbearable because we're politicizing you and murdering you in the streets. Do you not see how angry you sound?
What would it absolutely take to make you happy? I never call anyone "brave" for coming out. I don't display pride flags or change my stupid FB photo. I've met heroes. They jump on bombs to save their friends. They run into burning buildings to rescue children. And I fly one flag. It's my country's flag and I'm damn proud of it. Everyone NEEDS their label and some people hide behind it and use it to be an asshole. You will always get a free pass to call someone a "transphobe" or "homophobe" just because they disagree with some of your statements. You get to hide behind that while someone else is branded something they may not actually be and they are shunned from society or fired from their job. If that's not power, I don't know what is.
You have all the power right now. You're in absolute control. Everyone is too scared to say anything lest it offends. I mean... that's the whole reason this thread exists! Because we get called awful names for trying to understand what is happening around us. You automatically assume everyone else has a better life because they're not you. Empathy, my friend. It helps put life in perspective.
Spurs (06-09-2017)
i know people like you think that every debate needs to have no emotion to be considered "mature" and "worth listening to" but hey... im a pissed off tranny and im sick of being blamed for being upset. im off the bat "nasty" (lol where) because im tired of people reading comments like the ones quoted and going "yeah he has the right to that opinion " and not bothering to challenge intolerance and gaslighting. 'but rudy, gaslighting??? thats not happening here!' i hear you say, so let me point out that, like i said before, you straights are constantly telling us you dont CARE how we identify, but get angry when we identify around you. what the fuck are we supposed to do? why do we have to be convenient to you to be taken seriously as "one of them good Queers" or whatever the fuck.
this isnt about korea and never was. stop bringing other countries into debates to make people feel like their problems arent bad. i know north korea is bad, but this isnt about north korea, its about lgbt people worldwide being oppressed in each and every country. i cannot tell you how irritating and outright flawed this 'BUT OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE IT WOOOOOORSE!!!!!!!!!!!' bullshit is. dont twist my words here: i care about north korea, but they are not the only oppressed group, and lgbt people in "first world" countries are allowed to be upset by the oppression we face. this is where intersectionality comes into play. north korean lgbt people will have much different oppressive experiences than my white scottish ass ever will.If you listen to every person in the world, this statement is true. Go be North Korean for a day. I'm sure someone calling you a name will totally make them feel better about their plight
no, it shows how out of the headset you are. how can you read kites response and not feel like hes angry at lgbt people for existing where he can see it? ah, maybe its because youre not 'out and proud' and dont believe in 'safe spaces' (as if theyre not necessary for lgbt people when this is the sort of attitude we get in public), that you dont see the intolerance and where the raw nerves are exposed and subsequently picked at that comes with being 'out and proud' for years. it happens. i can tell you it happens, because it happens to me often enough for me to be fucking sick of it.No one is uncomfortable with anyone coming out and being unafraid. At all. The fact that you think anyone thinks this just shows how far out of the headset with society you are.
and that group of people... is the cisgender heterosexuals.There is only one group of people politically charging your side and for the sake of keeping this on topic, I'll roll my eyes since the biggest political groups in the country avidly flaunt their sexuality as a means of support.
we arent as safe as anyone. you call me out of touch with reality then tell me, a trans person whos been subjected to transphobic/homophobic abuse throughout my life, that the obviously lgbt phobic hate crimes arent actually about lgbt people? please. dont actually insult me like that. i might be fucking delusional at times but if there wasnt actual evidence of people being killed for being lgbt i wouldnt comment on it. people hate us, people want to kill us, people are disgusted by us, dont ever tell me that doesnt happen when ive experienced situations that ive been in serious danger of violence because i was trans, and so have many other people.There's a wiki page of LGBT-driven "LITERALLY BEATING US AND MURDERING US IN TEH STREETS" page and it's maybe... 100 cases across the globe, not counting muslim countries because those aren't hate-crimes there. I'm sure there are a few more not mentioned because it wasn't driven by the fact that they were LGBT. But those numbers are not even on a scale when compared to how many LGBT people there actually were. I can compile a giant list of children who murdered their families, and make it like all children are on a rampage and you shouldn't have kids because they'll murder you in your sleep. If you're in America/Canada, you're just as safe as everyone else. Stop reacting like this is communist Russia and everyone is being lynched. That's not the case. No one wants to kill you.
again, this isnt russia, this isnt about russia. this was never about russia. again, dont twist my words: i care for russia and the lgbt issues in there, but disregarding the issues in scotland and america and canada because theyre "not as bad" is so disgusting to me. just because were not getting killed "as often" doesnt mean were not being killed. dont disrespect my dead lgbt friends who died because of phobic violence in america and canada like this.
how can you read any of what i said and think 'oh then jsut do it!'Then freaking do it!!! You think everyone agrees with how I go out in public?? You think I don't get honked at and whistled at on a daily basis for running in my workout clothes?? Everyone has to deal with the assholes in society. Sexually charged violence? Really? If someone assaults you, call the damn cops. That's not allowed towards anyone.
sorry, im not brave, im not a martyr, im a human and im severely afraid of putting myself and my girlfriend in danger just so i can feel what its like to be hetero.
the cops arent safe for lgbt people to call. they dont care about us. theyre cops.
my problems are mine, they hurt and scare me, they always will, and i dont think its fair that you listen to anything ive said about fear or violence and tell me to just 'man up' or whatever. im so sick of being told to man up by people like you only to try and get hurt for it. im sick of manning up. maybe its time people be a little softer.
oh, sorry, im talking safe spaces, arent i. and we all know those shouldnt exist
im disgusted by this entire comment. again, youre downplaying the issue by bringing in problems from countries with different laws and ideals. youre trying to justify the murder and violence towards my friends and family because lgbt people can be kinda cruel too. youre downplaying my entire experience just because you want to pull some 'NOT ALL MEN/CIS/STRAIGHT PEOPLE!!!!!!!' shit on me. once bitten twice shy, you know, it happens and it has been happening for centuries because we lgbt people have been very much bitten and are now three times as shy as a result. excuse us for not trusting those who want us dead.I'm done quoting each and every line... I'm already expecting a warning for this, but whatever. Stop blaming everyone for the actions of a few dickheads. I'm in the military and I've dealt with the dredges of society. Men who have raped Japanese girls, guys who have beat up Thai prostitutes, women who have sexually assaulted other women on deployments, gay, bi, lesbian, and I've even dealt with the assault of a transitioning MtF, and you know what all of those people had in common? They were attacked by singular people acting like assholes. The victims were absolutely supported 100% by society and protected from the criminals. If you're being sexually attacked for walking down the street, you have recourse. If you're being stared at and people are saying mean things... get over it. We all deal with it. Hell, last week when i was filling up my gas tank, some inbred hick yelled at me to "get my fine country ass over there". Wanna know what i didn't do? Acknowledge the idiot or make a big deal out of it.
'oh but not everyone!' sucks! sucks if people are nice! we dont trust them because they, as a collective group, have given us no reason to. as far as the lgbt community is concerned, its not 'one or two cases of violence in a sea of indifference', its 'millions of cases of violence with a few diamonds in the rough in the form of people who actually want to help us'. maybe you, as a cis straight [or whatever] person, see the majority as good, but you cannot tell me that the systematic and social abuse towards me and millions of others doesnt matter just because it happened closer to home and because it was 'one or two assholes'.
we will stop making a big deal when hets do. were not making a big deal, hets are, and were responding. and were sick of taking the abuse laying down and apologising for being difficult to walk all over. were sick of being the ones to apologise. call it a victim complex, since i know youre so fond of that term, but were sick of apologising for it, and well stop demanding special treatment when people walk around us and not over us over prejudice that they pinned to us just because we didnt fit their idea of a norm.Honestly, everyone has got to stop making a big deal out of things. You say you want to be treated normally, well my love, normal people don't demand special treatment, host half-naked pride parades with pornographic displays of indecency, and we don't make a big deal out of our lives.
My honest-to-goodness best advice, and you can take this or just call me a bigot, is to just IGNORE the meanies. You will not force everyone to love you. You will not make everyone accept you. You will not garner any support by being militant and nasty.
not everyone can 'man up' and 'ignore the meanies'. some people are sensitive. like me. thats not a bad thing. and youll find most are sensitive....... because of constant abuse from others.
thats nice. didnt ask tho.I promise you from the bottom of my heart, if I ever see someone being beat up for any reason at all, I step in. I do it all the time and I'm not the only person.
thats what i said, thats what i stand by, because thats what straight people have led me to believe with their own actions. its weird how being horrible to people lead those people to think youre unpleasant, isnt it?No one should stand for anyone being assaulted and according to your previous posts, we're all the enemy. Straight people are the devil and we make your lives unbearable because we're politicizing you and murdering you in the streets.
yes, i do, and its because i am angry.Do you not see how angry you sound?
�500 delivered to my paypal by every straight person ive ever had to see making out in public who would sneer at me for doing the sameWhat would it absolutely take to make you happy?
okay. again, didnt ask.I never call anyone "brave" for coming out. I don't display pride flags or change my stupid FB photo.
why do you people always bring up war veterans?? how is this about war veterans??? how the fuck is this about america and the american flag and shit? holy shit literally again i did not ask, nobody ever does.I've met heroes. They jump on bombs to save their friends. They run into burning buildings to rescue children. And I fly one flag. It's my country's flag and I'm damn proud of it. Everyone NEEDS their label and some people hide behind it and use it to be an asshole. You will always get a free pass to call someone a "transphobe" or "homophobe" just because they disagree with some of your statements. You get to hide behind that while someone else is branded something they may not actually be and they are shunned from society or fired from their job. If that's not power, I don't know what is.
NO I DONT!!!!! NONE OF US DO!!!! thats my entire point!!!!! weve never been in power!!!!!! who cares if people are scared to ask us questions??? i dont!!!!! im so glad people feel scared around me because im trans because i love having that power over straight cis people for once in my fucking life! i love being the reason people are afraid to speak because im always so afraid to speak in case i offend them by being too damn trans!!!! call me vindictive and call me angry and call me horrible and youre correct on every point!!!! im a psycho fucking tranny and i love people pussyfooting around me because im sick of being the one in their shoes. if they want to stop being called transphobic theyll stop saying stupid transphobic shit. if they want answers, they can give me questions, but this whole 'aahhh!!! im sooooo afraid of the mean ol' gays!!!!' mentality is...You have all the power right now. You're in absolute control. Everyone is too scared to say anything lest it offends. I mean... that's the whole reason this thread exists! Because we get called awful names for trying to understand what is happening around us. You automatically assume everyone else has a better life because they're not you.
well, fuck, dare i say it, but its pretty damn sensitive and those people need to man up dont they!!!!
how can you talk to me about empathy after everything youve just said to me. thats just so fucking cruel.Empathy, my friend. It helps put life in perspective.
Aura (06-05-2017),Corvid (06-16-2017),♥ Decepticon ♥ (06-05-2017),Ms M. (06-08-2017),Persephone (06-08-2017),Saturn (06-05-2017),Synth Salazzle (06-05-2017)
I personally don't think it's unreasonable. I'm a huge makeup person, however, I don't tend to gravitate towards brands that are inherently LBGTQ friendly. Sure, if I know a brand is, then I'll take a closer look at them but so far the only brand I won't use is MAC and that's because I know they test on animals. *shrug*
For the record, I am bisexual.
Views (06-05-2017)
"You're not allowed to have any issues or problems, because North Korea has it worse!! but wait, war veterans!!"
i love luna
DJ Music Man (06-05-2017),hissi (06-06-2017),Ms M. (06-08-2017),Synth Salazzle (06-05-2017)