intoxicated relatives: a life, a legacy

[icebox]

things my drunk father has done in the past 32 minutes or so

• shrieked “WHAT IS THAT” while pointing to a piece of plastic packaging on my floor
• picked up a small plush manatee from my shelf, clutched it to his chest, and said “i hope he’s my friend”
• suddenly came out with “how’s the ____ situation?” which tells me two things: 1) my mother is more clued up about my love life than i am at the moment, and 2) she’s also gossiping to dad haha awk
• flicked a ruler on the edge of my desk multiple times after saying “i should go away, but first...”
• muttered “fuck off, dad” to himself while exiting my room
• wailed “I HAVEN’T EATEN IN WEEKS” as he stared into the fridge (he last ate approximately three hours ago)
• said “hello, chicken” to whatever he pulled out of the fridge

he is singing a narrative with gospel influences alongside whatever he’s doing to prepare the food, while also farting melodiously

i’m gonna leave him alone now but holy shit

post your trainwreck drunk relative stories immediately

edit: this is supposed to be in spam, mods can move accordingly if desired

[Vis]

This was actually back when I was in primary school - my FRIEND's mom had a bit too much to drink when I was around for dinner one day, and accidentally spilled the rest of her glass on the table. She then knelt by the dinner table's edge to try and slurp it up. Mega embarrassing for everyone, except her

picked up a small plush manatee from my shelf, clutched it to his chest, and said “i hope he’s my friend”

Your dad is precious lmao
PS i hope that manatee is also my friend

[Suicune]

....my dad just sleeps

[icebox]

@(you need an account to see links) oh my lordy drunk other-people's-moms is actually so bad

my best friend's mom was drunk at a party; I turned to her and said "who's the ginger bloke over in the corner?" because I was genuinely wondering who he was

and she goes

"OI _____! GRACE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE."

I promptly hid (I mean yes, he was hella cute, but I was sure I'd seen him somewhere before and wished to clarify haha

[DJ Music Man]

When my father drinks, he becomes the cool guy. Extremely philosophical and motivating, and much more open and even fun.

But I've heard stories about some other family members drinking, they are either the sobbing drunk type, or those that go wild and beyond, and even run around buck naked.