Let's talk about Relationships!

[penumbra]

Ah, everyone sounds like they've had much more experience with relationships than me, lol. I've had a couple boyfriends but nothing ever serious until my current partner, whom i just got married to this year! I've known him for 11 years now, we met by roleplaying on tumblr, lmaooooo. Moved in together as roommates in 2018. then in 2020 when we were stuck together in the apartment i realized i REALLY liked just spending time with him always. It was slightly more complicated, me deciding to date him, because he is trans and I wasn't sure how my family would react. But everything's worked out nicely and we've been married for a few months now! I love him so much, he is perfect for me.
I don't particularly believe in soulmates, I just think I'm super lucky because I found the person whos perfect for me lol

[Baphomet]

How long was your longest relationship?
Do you believe in soulmates? Think you found yours?
Gush about your significant other below! How amazing are they?

-x-

My longest relationship was almost 5 years, probably one of the worst relationships I've been in. Will spare the detail on that one.

But my current relationship was after that horrid 5 year one, and I truly believe my partner is my soul mate. I've never met someone so sweet, quiet and caring the way he is. He puts up with my emotions and reassures me and loves me unconditionally. Been together now for 2.5 years and never had a single argument. He loves me, my dog, my cat and my lizard Last night I surprised him with a night out, got a hotel room and I bought a BUNCH of

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. We had a great night, it's his early birthday present. He truly is the best, I have never met someone so understanding as him, who spoils me and also is great in bed too I love him and see myself marrying him tbh. Didn't believe in marriage (for myself) or starting a family, but I would change my mind for him cus I can see him being a great father and husband. Okay I'm done gushing now.

[Minerva]

"Ah! Oh my goodness I loveee this questionnn"

I feel incredibly lucky to have my partner. We met at a point in my life when I was absolutely not looking to date someone. I had just gotten out of a pretty bad ~8 year relationship (thought he was "the one") that I eventually realized was very toxic. My ex wasn't a terrible person, but I'd sort of outgrown the relationship and he wasn't willing to put in the work or address his own demons; and he resented me for "changing" even though I was proud of my healing journey through therapy.

I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason though. I joke with my friends that I probably manifested my current partner LOL, because in sessions with my therapist I was told to think about what I'd want in a partner. He is perfect for me! He's thoughtful, kind, patient, a great listener, funny, wicked smart, a nerd just like me, and healthily challenges me to get out of my comfort zone. We've gone on so many adventures together and it already feels like a lifetime with him. It's also refreshing to have complete honesty and trust in a relationship. He feels like home.

I don't really believe in soulmates, but I do think timing is so important! Communication styles and love languages do make a big difference too! Every relationship will have conflict, but it's about coming together as a team to solve it <3

[Hollow]

Congrats on your relationship!

My longest relationship was roughly around 2.5 years. So I suppose I don't have nearly as much experience as most, but I did really enjoy being in that relationship up until the end of it. I personally do not believe in soul mates however. I've now been single for 8 years (personal choice), and I've pretty much gotten used to my own company

[Baklava]

I ended up marrying my first partner. I admit i had no self confidence after being the fat kid growing up. Even though i'm not anymore, the mentality never leaves me.
Our relationship has been a bit unorthodox. His parents abandoned him at our house when he was 21 and treated him like he was dumb.. He did not have a permit to drive.
I did feel like me and my parents had to help him grow up more. But it's been 6 years and he has come out of his shell a lot. Has always had a heart of gold. I definitely feel like we had been friends for a longtime even when i first met him.

Living through this experience only further angered about me how much bad parents can stunt their children's growth in life. Previously, I only saw this shit in movies... His parents told him he was dumb many times and could only go to the army, so that's all he believed. He found out he was colorblind with blue and dark purple colors so even the army denied him. I have no idea what would have become of him if i never met him.

[DankRUSE]

I definitely would love to gush about my boyfriend we started living in my condo last year, its been amazing I never felt so much support and love in my life. We never argue, always so affectionate towards me. So supportive, he holds me when he knows im upset, he just knows. His family is so freaking nice to me its like they are already my family. I genuinely believe I somehow am in a dream or this is what I'd imagine heaven to be like. Surrounded by caring wonderful people. The only thing that makes me realize that is not the case is fuggin work >:[

[Alister]

I'm curious to hear if anyone has experiences with couples' therapy or counseling and what they thought about it?

My husband and I are kicking around the idea of starting it proactively, mostly to gear up for the possibility of having a child and getting help working through our only real ongoing conflict, an imbalance in the household workload we each take on. Our backgrounds are SO different that it's hard for us to compromise on what's a reasonable split of work. A neutral third party could be really helpful.

The quick backstory is I was raised by a parent with hoarder household tendencies and he was raised in a household with irrational expectations of cleanliness (floors mopped and house dusted daily, not a dirty dish in sight anywhere unless someone is actively eating from it). Neither of us wants to be as extreme as our parents but we're definitely influenced by how we were raised. It's tough for us to define the line of what's a reasonable lift for daily and weekly chores and what's him being overzealous. We're thinking a counselor could help us agree on what the fair output he should expect from me is vs what's just excessively high expectations from him.

[Rebel_Minx]

1. How long was your longest relationship? -- Funnily enough, I am married, but it's not my longest relationship (yet). Been together around 4 years, and my ex before that was actually close to 5 years

2. Do you believe in soulmates? Think you found yours? -- I think you can make the case that soulmates exist. Maybe not in a very literal sense, as it's not hard to imagine there theoretically being more than one person on this Earth that you can spend the rest of your life with. However, I think you can choose your soulmate and "feel" like someone is your soul mate once you meet and spend time with them. I would definitely consider my wife to be my soul mate

3. Gush about your significant other below! How amazing are they? -- What I really love about my wife is I know that she truly loves me. Maybe it's not a very interesting answer. But my wife loves me so much, the way she looks at me every single day, I've never experienced that from anyone else before. There are times when I will make her upset, and even in those moments, I can tell how much she loves me by how much she is hurt by whatever words or actions of mine. We have the kind of relationship where we share each others phones and do not get insecure. We both look forward to seeing each other every day after work. We basically spend every day together and it never gets old. Overall I would consider myself to be very fortunate as I know not all marriages are good marriages (my parents for example...), but my wife and I have a great healthy relationship. We will have kids soon and I hope that it doesn't put too much of a strain on our relationship, as I heard that's a thing.

If I didn't know any better, I would think you were my husband. My hubby has said a lot of these same words. I love that!

- - - Updated - - -

How long was your longest relationship?
Do you believe in soulmates? Think you found yours?
Gush about your significant other below! How amazing are they?

-x-

My longest relationship was almost 5 years, probably one of the worst relationships I've been in. Will spare the detail on that one.

But my current relationship was after that horrid 5 year one, and I truly believe my partner is my soul mate. I've never met someone so sweet, quiet and caring the way he is. He puts up with my emotions and reassures me and loves me unconditionally. Been together now for 2.5 years and never had a single argument. He loves me, my dog, my cat and my lizard Last night I surprised him with a night out, got a hotel room and I bought a BUNCH of

Please log in to view spoilers.

. We had a great night, it's his early birthday present. He truly is the best, I have never met someone so understanding as him, who spoils me and also is great in bed too I love him and see myself marrying him tbh. Didn't believe in marriage (for myself) or starting a family, but I would change my mind for him cus I can see him being a great father and husband. Okay I'm done gushing now.

Oh your night sounds absolutely perfect. I know y'all had a blast!!!

[Oog]

I've actually been having a lot of troubles with my current partner and would love some advice. We've only been together for about 4 months but things have been so hard. My main complaint is that when we first met he was always so excited to spend time with me, making plans, driving to see me. We would call every day and spend hours talking to each other or watch movies/shows online together. Then gradually the times we spend together would be less and less and I feel that he is not as excited to spend time with me. We would go from seeing each other 2-3 times a week to maybe once every week or two. Sometimes I'd ask if we could call and he would say that he's tired from work or not feeling well. It felt so strange going from expecting to call every night to not knowing if we were going to. I know that I'm a very anxiously attached person and it has been making me so sad thinking that something is wrong. I've picked fights with him multiple times now about these issues and he always reassures me that he is thinking of me all the time and cares for me, but he is so burnt out from work that he needs a lot of time by himself to wind down. I also need a lot of consistency and like making plans in advance where he is spontaneous on when/what he wants to do so that has also been causing issues. I know that he is trying his best to compromise. We agreed on a specific day of the week where he will come see me so that I can have some consistency. He also requested for less hours at work so that he has more time to unwind and be more available for me. I just don't know how to shake off the feeling that he's no longer excited/looking forward to spend time with me even though he says that he is. I'm so tired for constantly feeling anxious and sad. I think he's also tired of me constantly picking fights about the same things. I don't know if something is wrong with me or if this is worth salvaging. I've been in relationships where I am so anxious like this one and relationships where I am not anxious at all. I think the main difference is that I need a lot of consistency and feeling loved. When we are together I'm very happy and we have a lot of fun, but time apart is so difficult now while it was not before.

[phantasia]

I have not found my soul mate. I don't know if I ever will. The longest romantic relationship I was in was 2 months. And from eh start I actually knew he was not the one.

Its not like I am bad a general relationships. I am still friends with one of my school friends and have two other friends that is over 10 years. But Yeah no romantic intrests