Rebel_Minx (06-15-2023)
I am so sorry for your loss! I can't even imagine losing a kid of my own. I don't have any biological kids I have a few grown bonus kids that have been in my life for about 5 1/2 years now. My best friend growing up will call her "C". Her parent had 5 kids all together. My friend C is now the only living child remaining of the 5. 3 of them have died in the last 3 years all roughly a year apart from the last. Its been really hard on her parents. There 2nd born child died of sids at a couple of months old but the other were not expected to be gone soon. C will be 39 this month and she was the oldest.
My friend "R" who I met right after I got out of the military in 2006. Almost 2 years ago lost her first-born child at 11 years old. He fell asleep in the car on there way home from a family vacation and never woke up. He was 11 years old. I was there at the hospital the day he was born. Took the first picture of him when he was transferred to the nicu because he was 7 weeks early just so his parents could see a picture of him before they could go be with him. I was the first person to ever get to baby sit him when he was about 2 weeks old. It was only for about 5 or 6 hours, but he amazed the crap out of me staying awake the whole time he was at my house. I had never experienced or heard of a newborn being so wide awake for so long. He was lucky if he was 35/36 weeks adjusted age at that time. Even though he was really early he weighed over 4lbs at birth. I have a hard time thinking about him remembering hm without breaking down in ugly tears. I do call his mom pretty much every time it happens. We like to talk about him and share memories. I don't want him to ever be forgotten.
I have a 10-year-old nephew that only has light perception in one of his eyes. No useable vision. Some health problems associated with his condition and a mild form of autism. He really looks like Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle. I hope he outlives me. I can't imagine losing him. I opened up a health insurance plan a few years back and he is the sole beneficiary or the policy. I do need to set up some more stuff with it to protect the money and make sure its just for him and what he needs or wants. I just want to make sure he is okay. My sister and I are my moms only kids and he is the only grandchild. Going to make sure he is taken care of.
I have been extremely lucky with my latest psychiatrist. I had a really good one previously but when he retired due to health problems. Don't want to elaborate we know what was wrong however we don't know what degree it was to. Well at that time my husband and I both had him for psych and when he retired, we were both assigned to a new psychiatrist at a different VA over an hour and a half away that could only meet with us via telehealth. I jumped at the opportunity when It happened to switch to someone I could see in person and then we moved about 40 minutes away. I had to get all new providers but was able to keep my new psychiatrist as she worked at both VA clinics. She told me she's not leaving till she retires thankfully. She's got to be around my age I think. IDK she just had a baby about 2 years ago.
Oh my goodness I didn't realize how much I wrote. If you managed to get thru that all you're amazing!!!
Last edited by SourSkittles; 06-15-2023 at 03:33 AM.
Rebel_Minx (06-15-2023)
@(you need an account to see links) I read all the way through that! Thank you for sharing. Experiencing so much loss so close together is rough! It's nice to know there are people who understand and get it! I am glad you have an awesome psych now. How you are making sure your nephew is taken care is how I feel about my momma. She lives with me now so that I can help with all of her appointments and keep her meds straight, etc.
Huge shoutout to (you need an account to see links) for my amazing Custom UB!
Huge shout out to (you need an account to see links)for my amazing Thirteen siggie graphic!
Rebel the Otter and her little friend, Jinxy the teddy bear, was drawn by (you need an account to see links)! Thank you so much for this perfect vision of my emo otter!
2 years ago we planned to sell our house and move to a cheaper state with little to no mortgage...
We are going to try to make this happen this year!
My gorgeous avatar was created by thee incredible
♡ Lyrichord ♡
I don't think I truly understood the loss process people go thru until I started to lose people, I was around almost Everday of my childhood when R's son died that felt like a huge piece of my heart had a hole in it. Early on in our marriage my husband's best friend died unexpectedly and 2 months later his brother we knew his day where numbered and he stayed with us on earth for 2 extra years I think to do to pure stubbornness man do I miss that guy. 2 months after that his nephew who he grew up with. My husband was the youngest of his parents kids his oldest sibling was 30 years older than him. He was at work doing replacing a roof and had a massive stroke he never woke up from it. I liked all of them and seen them often and miss them but there passing away didn't hit me anywhere near as hard. It was hard watching my husband go through so much pain and raw emotion I was just focusing on being there for him at the time. When I did mourn or cry, I tried to do so in private.
Ok enough of talking about that for the moment. My heart might not be able to handle a huge influx of emotions all at once.
I reread what I wrote earlier I totally meant a life Insurance policy but makes me wonder if I could set something up specifically for if he needed extra money for his medical needs for the future.
I love that you're helping your mom. I moved home overnight 8 years ago at no notice when my mom had some really bad health problems going on. She's doing a lot better now but had to have a tumor removed from her brain/pituitary gland and it came back, and she had to do radiation and ended up needing another brain surgery. Thankful it wasn't cancer, but it was definitely a stressful time. My sister was a teen mom at the time I think she just turned 18 my nephew was around 2 1/2,
Where actually leaving tomorrow afternoon and driving down to see my mom, sister and nephew for the weekend. So looking forward to it.
I get it so much. My sister is still living at home it's just easier for her and her son and she's there if my mom needs help to. My mom made me promise if something happens to her that me and my husband will move into the house with my sister. She told me she has it all figured out where the mortgage would be paid completely, she has it so we would both get the house together. It will always be my sister's house though no matter what.
Post # 84 (1984 Baby!)
Last edited by SourSkittles; 06-15-2023 at 07:34 PM. Reason: 84 Baby!
Megiddo (06-17-2023),Rebel_Minx (06-15-2023)
Gotta get moved into my new house, and then get my new kittens settled in.
Get my life back on track to be honest
thank you Hollow for the amazing Gengar art piece
Cherubi (06-18-2023),kittyray (06-16-2023),SourSkittles (06-16-2023)
Current life goals:
Get a new wedding ring (Lost a lot of weight and my current one doesn't fit anymore and can't have it resized)
Buy a house with my husband
Win lotto would be great lol
Get out of debt
Thanks to Houndoom for the Shinx drawing!
Thanks to Great White North for the Shinx Ryu!
Thanks to DankRUSE for the avatar and to Lyrichord for the userbars and tying it in to the avatar art!
You all are amazing <3
Current life goals:
1. Take it easy and rest - I had some surgery on my knee last week to try and help some damaged Cartilage. I'll have to rest it for a fair while, otherwise the whole process is ruined and I'll have to go in for a more significant surgery which will have me recovering for 4-5months with no walking.
2. Become financially independent - this one is a bit of a longer process. We currently owe around about 100k on our mortgage. We've got a couple of renovation and improvement projects happening soon but after that I'm hoping we can knuckle down and get a large portion of this mortgage gone. I have no intentions of paying it all off because it's handy having access to lump sum cash like that at a *fairly* low interest rate.
But if we can get our mortgage repayments down a lot we can start putting some more money into investments or retirement funds. I've got about 30 years of working life left and by the time I get to retirement age things are going to be insanely expensive!
3. Start a hobby - this one is a bit of a random one but since I've had surgery on my knee I'm unable to participate in my usual hobbies of Golf and Field Hockey. So I need to find something that I can do while I'm out of action for the next 8 months. I was contemplating starting up a YouTube channel or learning coding, to play the piano or something along those lines. This one is fairly open ended and will require me to probably sit down and really see what I want to do and what it will look like if I decide on one route or another.
I�ve been around...
kittyray (06-17-2023)
@(you need an account to see links) Health/injuries messing up hobbies/activities is always such a shitty thing, but glad you're looking on the bright side of trying new things. When I've gone through similar I've tried a bunch of shit and saw what stuck (that's part of how I got back into neopets over a decade ago). I'm always an advocate of checking out coding. It's not for absolutely everybody, but I do think there's something in there for most everybody to enjoy that involves it. Hope this ends up a fun opportunity to try some new things!
Megiddo (06-17-2023)
Pay off my credit card debt (you get punished for being poor...really. Still paying for it years later.)
Lose some weight. Not super overweight but I did gain a bit from drinking. I cut down greatly on beer and drinks...just saving drinking for special occasions.
I was basically having a drink or two most nights...sometimes more...as a wind down ritual after work. Not good. Sticking to water mostly now.
Got back on my exercise bike too.
No lofty life goals. I gave up on home ownership and stuff a long time ago. I do want a bigger place and to feel like my life is "settled down" more so I feel ready to get a dog.
"when I say acab, I include tony p"
-Proverb, 2021