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Thread: Offline ways to socialize?

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    Offline ways to socialize?

    Has anyone else in recent years become almost unable to initiate or hold a conversation IRL?
    I used to talk for hours about anything and now people are lucky to get a few sentences out of me.

    I blame the youth (me) and their blasted social media!


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    Excalibur (04-12-2023),Fiore (04-12-2023),mofumofu (04-12-2023)

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    I think that this is becoming the new norm for a lot of people. I recently read a book - "How to Listen with Intention" - that changed the way I communicate with people. It has definitely strengthened the relationships I develop and helped me think like a human again.

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    I noticed this too for myself, but I think a big part for me was the pandemic where I enjoyed my solitude and then felt I had to re-learn socialization cues and what not. Also, a big part is that I have less time anyway to hang out with people because I work a hybrid schedule at a new job. I used to work in an office for the last 4 years so for a time, I saw and talked to people every day. Now, I find it harder to dedicate time to that tbh. There was a video posted from a gym I go to on "how to make gym friends" and I found it funny because they were like literally just "go up and talk to people" and I just thought "I don't think that works anymore?" lol

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    I genuinely don't know. I don't have irl friends and haven't in a long time. I'm anti social and it's not that big of a deal but sometimes I wish there was a place to make friends that isnt a bar or dollar store.

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    Quote Originally Posted by benirako View Post
    Has anyone else in recent years become almost unable to initiate or hold a conversation IRL?
    I used to talk for hours about anything and now people are lucky to get a few sentences out of me.

    I blame the youth (me) and their blasted social media!

    typically strangers i try not to talk to, acquaintances or known people i can strike a convo with easily. throw some subjects see which ones gargle their tummies and boom you can have a convo for hours. i find myself as a person who can chat with anyone just about.

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    mofumofu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by benirako View Post
    Has anyone else in recent years become almost unable to initiate or hold a conversation IRL?
    I used to talk for hours about anything and now people are lucky to get a few sentences out of me.

    I blame the youth (me) and their blasted social media!

    I don't blame you, I had the same problem for years. But its gotten worse as I meet people in person.
    I think because we were kept indoors for so long I get anxious meeting people.

    In a 1 to 1 setting then I think I am fine. I think in a group setting I'm a bit worse and die in the group and not say much.
    I think what helps me is watching current shows I watch on Netflix and then start a conversation with people from there.
    I think if I don't have something relatable to talk about its hard to make connections with people or I just feel awkward.

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    I went back to uni after being in a career for most of my 20s and it's insane how much I feel like I lost my socialization ability lol. Half of my degree was done over Zoom and honestly, interacting with students a decade younger than me & profs is simply not the same as the constant day to day of being at work. Obviously there's still socializing involved, but I'm closer in age to most of my instructors and there's that professional boundary there. I'm GREAT at small talk/polite but distant interactions. Very good at communicating professionally. But meaningful interactions & making friends?? A mystery. I'm trapped in a constant cycle of feeling like it would be presumptuous to think someone might want to connect on a deeper level, which makes it hard to reach out.

    This year I'm trying to make an effort to put myself out there because I really feel like I need to get comfortable with communicating normally again. My spouse has made some friends through a writing group in the community so I've been tagging along to that, and I joined a swordfighting class on weekends! Hoping that will help thaw me out!


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  10. #8

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    Look at me, so bad at convos I can't even reply to you guys, lol. But I can relate.
    I'm reading a book called 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Bleep', it's kinda funny and helping.

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    Quote Originally Posted by benirako View Post
    Look at me, so bad at convos I can't even reply to you guys, lol. But I can relate.
    I'm reading a book called 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Bleep', it's kinda funny and helping.
    Yes! Good book! I've read it twice cuz why not haha

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    To be honest, I feel like ever since the pandemic, it's been hard to socialize? I used to be the most outgoing person ever. A extra extrovert lol. But with the isolation and only being able to interact with people mainly online aside from family, I felt that my social battery got a lot lower. I think it helps to be intentional with your time. Like if you're going to meet someone, I think it's nice to focus more on conversating with them than doing an activity I feel that conversations are what make me feel connected. I think also listening to your body helps? Social batteries are different for everyone. I think when I force myself to talk to someone when I'm tired, I just end up feeling extra tired. Sometimes I feel that when you don't know how to get a conversation started, I like using talking games like We're Not Really Strangers as an icebreaker of sorts ((:

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