The usage of the word "queer"

[Zapdos]

I have the same question as above - was that not true of "gay"? And if it was also an insult, what makes it feel different (if it does)?

I feel like which words were the big insults might be partially regional? Where I was as a kid and all through HS, "gay" was THE insult, both for things literally perceived as flamboyant/gay-coded and as a general "xyz sucks" about absolutely anything. I remember at one point having an assignment for a media class to make a PSA, and the big tagline of mine was "homophobia is gay" (cringe) which at the time was really organically read as "homophobia is bad". I didn't hear queer nearly as much, which I acknowledge is probably a factor in my comfort with it, but conversely I can't really imagine not wanting to say or identify as gay.

It's also interesting you say fag hasn't been reclaimed - my impression is that it has, almost all of my male gay friends use it for themselves and their friends/partners all the time (possibly skewed by being in a big, liberal city though). I don't think it's seen the same prominence as queer because it's more of a slang term, so regardless of comfort or reclamation it doesn't really belong in the titles of stuff or in intellectual works anyway. And then dyke, which is basically a female equivalent imo, has actually seen more of the formal reclamation use with things like the Dyke March.

It's cool to hear different perspectives though! I'm definitely interested to hear your thoughts on the words that aren't controversial.

Definitely agree, I think regionality is a big part of it! Gay was definitely used as an insult here, but the most common ones were h*mo and f*ggot. I come from a semi-rural area and I think that due to that, people are more hesitant to reclaim titles other than gay, lesbian, bisexual etc. I've noticed in the city their seems to be more freedom of expression and waaaaay more (almost total) acceptance, I really hope it spreads outwards someday so the LGBT people in my community feel comfortable claiming whatever they like!
Interesting that f*g hasn't been reclaimed here, but dyke has been wholeheartedly so. I think here it is a bit safer to be a gay woman (which still isn't very safe) than a gay man, as gay men occasionally are subject to male on male hate fueled violence