Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: How Do You Measure Your Own Success?

  1. #1
    kopiko's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    540
    Userbars
    34
    Thanks
    571
    Thanked
    479/212
    DL/UL
    55/0
    Mentioned
    86 times
    Time Online
    67d 17h 46m
    Avg. Time Online
    23m

    How Do You Measure Your Own Success?

    Recently I had a chat with my friends regarding how to become successful in our lives.

    I thought that having the financial security for my family until my passing age would meant that I was successful.

    Wanted to hear the thoughts of others on this.

    Are you on the road to being successful? Or are you


  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to kopiko For This Useful Post:

    Ariealle (05-11-2022),kittyray (05-13-2022),Nattiee (05-10-2022)

  3. #2
    Unown's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    1,771
    Pronouns
    he/him
    Userbars
    51
    Thanks
    1,672
    Thanked
    5,274/1,194
    DL/UL
    65/2
    Mentioned
    264 times
    Time Online
    44d 2h 44m
    Avg. Time Online
    43m
    Different people have different varying thoughts on what success is. It also depends on the phase of life you're in and what you wish to achieve during that phase of life.

    I'd say that I've come to a point where I've stopped chasing the money and am looking towards finding peace and mental health in my career and lifestyle.
    Financial freedom is also a criteria to what I perceive as happiness in my life. Marrying someone I can love would be too. Kids, not too much. Health for my parents.
    Sometimes I personally wish for a lower threshold for happiness so that I can feel happy sooner, if that makes any sense xD

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Unown For This Useful Post:

    Cinnamoroll (05-11-2022),kittyray (05-13-2022),kopiko (05-11-2022),Nattiee (05-10-2022)

  5. #3
    phantasia's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    2,833
    Pronouns
    she/her
    Userbars
    93
    Thanks
    3,140
    Thanked
    4,273/1,431
    DL/UL
    96/0
    Mentioned
    375 times
    Time Online
    87d 11h 55m
    Avg. Time Online
    39m
    @(you need an account to see links) having the financial security for my family until my passing age would meant that I was successful.
    I feel yes that can be a measure if you are single. I think if I could do that it will also make me feel sucessfull but not only that is what matter but the journey towards it.

    However... if you have children I think that statement should change. you also need to be able to support your children until they can support themselves however long that may be.
    I also would love to leave a legacy. Like one or two people that can say I made a difference for the better in their lives. So success to me is a little more about others as well. and how you walk your journey. Great if you can support yourself and your kids but you got there by ruining other people's lives? That is not sucess.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to phantasia For This Useful Post:

    kittyray (05-13-2022),kopiko (05-11-2022)

  7. #4
    overthink.exe
    kittyray's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    5,623
    Pronouns
    she/they
    Userbars
    117
    Thanks
    13,412
    Thanked
    18,704/5,242
    DL/UL
    40/0
    Mentioned
    1,155 times
    Time Online
    550d 23h 7m
    Avg. Time Online
    3h 26m
    tl;dr I have no idea and I think it constantly changes anyway.




    thanks stardust for base Thanks Sugarbee Thanks Wooloo
    Kyo (Nov 13 2020)

    thanks honeycomb
    and hearts! <3
    +Zenitsu

    THANK YOU FAB



  8. The Following User Says Thank You to kittyray For This Useful Post:

    kopiko (05-11-2022)

  9. #5
    Cinna Rollz Cinnamoroll's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    3,360
    Pronouns
    she/her
    Userbars
    103
    Thanks
    9,382
    Thanked
    9,327/2,803
    DL/UL
    92/0
    Mentioned
    693 times
    Time Online
    83d 2h 18m
    Avg. Time Online
    37m
    Yes, I’m *that* person but for me?

    Success is the fact that I am alive, breathing and well.

    Mainly because there was a long time where I felt like nothing, but I’ve learned how to shift my perspective as I’ve grown and relearned how to be kind to myself.






    (you need an account to see links)





    Art Credits:
    issa poot/bffs/be evil by my bb (you need an account to see links)
    custom popsicle userbar: (you need an account to see links)
    custom cinnamoroll ub: (you need an account to see links)
    cinna ryu sprite: (you need an account to see links)
    custom SDV pfp: (you need an account to see links)




  10. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Cinnamoroll For This Useful Post:

    kittyray (05-13-2022),♥ pillowfighter ♥ (05-13-2022),SpaceyGirl (05-17-2022),Unown (05-12-2022)

  11. #6
    Alister's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2020
    Posts
    1,302
    Userbars
    75
    Thanks
    3,512
    Thanked
    4,877/1,313
    DL/UL
    33/0
    Mentioned
    331 times
    Time Online
    124d 23h 3m
    Avg. Time Online
    2h 17m
    1. How fast is my income growing year over year? Am I earning enough to spare my partner from having to work a job he hates just for the sake of an income? Is my income enabling me to spend time on the activities I actually enjoy?

    2. How many kudos are my fanfics getting?

    two modes

    I love sports and contests. At work, promotions and seeing my income grow feels like the equivalent of scoring points or winning games. The next new title is always a challenge to earn, especially the higher up I already am, and gives me something to try and work toward instead of just feeling bored and stagnant. Meanwhile, my fiance is just not cut from a cloth that lets him fit in well at corporate environments (he loathes them in fact), and I am very pleased that I've reached a point of income where I can comfortably support both of us and give him the freedom to work a job that's better for his mental health than stuff he's done in the past when he had to prioritize making money over his own happiness. It makes me feel like I'm being successful when I get to see my family living without the stress of money or the misery of capitalism, as much as one can.

    I also feel like I'm being successful when my day job gives me the luxury to enjoy my hobbies because 1 single kudos or comment on something I've written renews my soul, waters my crops, fills in all the potholes in my driveway and leaves me on cloud nine. Writing is what I really want to be doing with my life and hearing that someone enjoyed the time they spent reading something I wrote leaves me feeling more fulfilled than my day job ever could. Ultimate Success in my life would be getting an original work finished and knowing there's some other people out there in the world who willingly spent their own free time to read it.

    sea serpent ryu by GWN | star gazing ub GreyFaerie | serpent scales ub by Infected | avatar by Dita
    consolidation of all four beauties by Lyrichord
    better quality images on petpage in spoilers












  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Alister For This Useful Post:

    kittyray (05-13-2022),Unown (05-14-2022)

  13. #7
    pillowfighter's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2022
    Posts
    510
    Pronouns
    she/her
    Userbars
    42
    Thanks
    1,097
    Thanked
    721/300
    DL/UL
    4/0
    Mentioned
    61 times
    Time Online
    17d 22h 14m
    Avg. Time Online
    32m
    It might sound cliche but success to me is knowing that not only am I happy or even just content with what I do or where I am but the people around me are as well.
    I’m grateful every day to be here to be honest

    pancake the ryu



    thank you honeycomb for the pancake doodle and hearts for the sleepy pumpkin!



  14. The Following User Says Thank You to pillowfighter For This Useful Post:

    kittyray (05-14-2022)

  15. #8
    tcas4200's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    163
    Userbars
    6
    Thanks
    66
    Thanked
    50/24
    DL/UL
    6/0
    Mentioned
    21 times
    Time Online
    4d 14h 30m
    Avg. Time Online
    1m
    I have quantified scoring systems that I use to evaluate my life in general in excel/python but for ease of the question I have 2 qualitative items I look at:

    Stability and personal life satisfaction. I think people can understand the latter but for the former, I'm concerned with risk assessment and mitigation in life. Can't ever eliminate it but managing it within some set threshold is good for me for stability. I like to consider what if X happens and do I have a (reasonable) contingency plan. This can be for things like job/finance/health/black swan event, etc... Having a stable outlook tends to keep stress down though the planning is more of a means to an ends and is separate than the life satisfaction part that comes from family/friends/hobbies/work enjoyment/long term goals.

  16. #9
    Solitaire's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2021
    Posts
    25
    Pronouns
    She/Her
    Userbars
    3
    Thanks
    46
    Thanked
    26/11
    DL/UL
    3/0
    Mentioned
    5 times
    Time Online
    3d 20h 32m
    Avg. Time Online
    5m
    I don't know how to quantify my own success. I did the whole get a career and move away thing and it was okay but my mental health was garbage. Now I'm living back at home, studying in a new field and saving up to buy a house and my mental health is better, but I've never owned any assets beyond a small Toyota and I've never been successful with romantic relationships. I don't know if I will ever manage to buy a place on my own income with the way the economy is. My parents keep pushing me to give them grandkids but I don't understand why and I just don't want to. I'm gonna be 30 this year and the only thing I can say I have achieved is I haven't unalived myself.

  17. #10
    Siebenschlaefer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    43
    Pronouns
    she/her
    Userbars
    4
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked
    52/27
    Mentioned
    5 times
    Time Online
    11d 8h 26m
    Avg. Time Online
    8m
    Success for me is...

    Financial stability in a bearable job.
    It pays the bills and I don't hate my life completely for doing it + can manage it well with my mental state? Check.


    Peace of mind.
    ...for the lack of a better term.
    WIP for me. I have anxiety and ADHD and it makes me struggle a lot of times, but like being able to work a job 40hrs/week, being good at it despite it not being my 'dream' field is quite the success for me and I worked hard towards acknowleding it as such.
    I used to have a heavy (and still kind of have) mindset of not being able to appreciate things for what they are and rather thinking things like: "That's not an accomplishment, that's baseline functionality". Without realizing that "basic functionality" already is a success, especially when struggling with mental health.
    I consider myself a 'Borderline Misanthrope'* so not hating my life and myself for living it is basically a goal for me, and I'm working towards that myself and in therapy at the moment.

    *What I mean by that is that I had a lot of shitty experiences with people+the general way humans seem to be fucking up anything they touch in the big picture made me dislike humans (including myself) on a way too high scale to mentally bear for a long time.


    And, one very individual thing: Deciding to not have kids.
    I never wanted kids and I probably never will, and last year I went a big step forward in that decision by getting a sterilisation (not sure if that's the right term in english, basically "women vasectomy")
    And despite many people being critical about it, I fought my rising anxiety due to those critics and went with what I want and what I consider best for me right now, rather than thinking what could and may be and struggling in the present for something that may very well never happen in the future.
    Which is and has been a difficult thing for me a lot of times in my life.
    - Call me Sieben -

    Might struggle with social interactions and language barriers occasionally, please bare with me.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •