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Thread: How Do You Measure Your Own Success?

  1. #1
    kopiko's Avatar
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    How Do You Measure Your Own Success?

    Recently I had a chat with my friends regarding how to become successful in our lives.

    I thought that having the financial security for my family until my passing age would meant that I was successful.

    Wanted to hear the thoughts of others on this.

    Are you on the road to being successful? Or are you

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  3. #2
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    Different people have different varying thoughts on what success is. It also depends on the phase of life you're in and what you wish to achieve during that phase of life.

    I'd say that I've come to a point where I've stopped chasing the money and am looking towards finding peace and mental health in my career and lifestyle.
    Financial freedom is also a criteria to what I perceive as happiness in my life. Marrying someone I can love would be too. Kids, not too much. Health for my parents.
    Sometimes I personally wish for a lower threshold for happiness so that I can feel happy sooner, if that makes any sense xD


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    phantasia's Avatar
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    @[Only registered and activated users can see links. ] having the financial security for my family until my passing age would meant that I was successful.
    I feel yes that can be a measure if you are single. I think if I could do that it will also make me feel sucessfull but not only that is what matter but the journey towards it.

    However... if you have children I think that statement should change. you also need to be able to support your children until they can support themselves however long that may be.
    I also would love to leave a legacy. Like one or two people that can say I made a difference for the better in their lives. So success to me is a little more about others as well. and how you walk your journey. Great if you can support yourself and your kids but you got there by ruining other people's lives? That is not sucess.

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  7. #4
    overthink.exe
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    tl;dr I have no idea and I think it constantly changes anyway.

    Spoiler:

    I've been thinking about this. For a long time it felt like a constantly moving goal post with a lot of the classic always-could-have-done-more mentality, never-good-enough type mentalities.
    Now it feels like it's still a moving target, but it's more because my goals and ambitions are always in flux as I learn more about myself and the world. I'm not into the who idea of five-year-plans because so much can change in five years, for better or worse. But I don't really know if those targets are measure of success, or just things-that-feel-right-next.

    There are other more general goals that don't move, but I don't know if them feel necessary to actually consider myself successful, just goals. Stuff like financial independence, and then some. Also just...increased functional independence. I have a disability, so there are some things in life that I'm a bit slower than others to pick up on and do on my own, so I also rely on others probably more than the average person my age. Also finally figure out how to make and keep friends, it's just not something that ever felt natural to me.

    All that said, those are goals, not keys to success. They're totally meaningless if I'm not happy, or have too many regrets about the choices I've made, or hate myself, or whatever. It sounds really hokey, and I don't know if happiness/acceptance/self-worth will be another moving target, but I don't know if that's a bad thing so long as I don't swing to far in that direction.

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    Cinna Rollz Cinnamoroll's Avatar
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    Yes, I’m *that* person but for me?

    Success is the fact that I am alive, breathing and well.

    Mainly because there was a long time where I felt like nothing, but I’ve learned how to shift my perspective as I’ve grown and relearned how to be kind to myself.



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    1. How fast is my income growing year over year? Am I earning enough to spare my partner from having to work a job he hates just for the sake of an income? Is my income enabling me to spend time on the activities I actually enjoy?

    2. How many kudos are my fanfics getting?

    two modes

    I love sports and contests. At work, promotions and seeing my income grow feels like the equivalent of scoring points or winning games. The next new title is always a challenge to earn, especially the higher up I already am, and gives me something to try and work toward instead of just feeling bored and stagnant. Meanwhile, my fiance is just not cut from a cloth that lets him fit in well at corporate environments (he loathes them in fact), and I am very pleased that I've reached a point of income where I can comfortably support both of us and give him the freedom to work a job that's better for his mental health than stuff he's done in the past when he had to prioritize making money over his own happiness. It makes me feel like I'm being successful when I get to see my family living without the stress of money or the misery of capitalism, as much as one can.

    I also feel like I'm being successful when my day job gives me the luxury to enjoy my hobbies because 1 single kudos or comment on something I've written renews my soul, waters my crops, fills in all the potholes in my driveway and leaves me on cloud nine. Writing is what I really want to be doing with my life and hearing that someone enjoyed the time they spent reading something I wrote leaves me feeling more fulfilled than my day job ever could. Ultimate Success in my life would be getting an original work finished and knowing there's some other people out there in the world who willingly spent their own free time to read it.


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  13. #7
    pillowfighter's Avatar
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    It might sound cliche but success to me is knowing that not only am I happy or even just content with what I do or where I am but the people around me are as well.
    I’m grateful every day to be here to be honest
    come on parappa, r e l a x



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    tcas4200's Avatar
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    I have quantified scoring systems that I use to evaluate my life in general in excel/python but for ease of the question I have 2 qualitative items I look at:

    Stability and personal life satisfaction. I think people can understand the latter but for the former, I'm concerned with risk assessment and mitigation in life. Can't ever eliminate it but managing it within some set threshold is good for me for stability. I like to consider what if X happens and do I have a (reasonable) contingency plan. This can be for things like job/finance/health/black swan event, etc... Having a stable outlook tends to keep stress down though the planning is more of a means to an ends and is separate than the life satisfaction part that comes from family/friends/hobbies/work enjoyment/long term goals.

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    SkellyDog's Avatar
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    I don't know how to quantify my own success. I did the whole get a career and move away thing and it was okay but my mental health was garbage. Now I'm living back at home, studying in a new field and saving up to buy a house and my mental health is better, but I've never owned any assets beyond a small Toyota and I've never been successful with romantic relationships. I don't know if I will ever manage to buy a place on my own income with the way the economy is. My parents keep pushing me to give them grandkids but I don't understand why and I just don't want to. I'm gonna be 30 this year and the only thing I can say I have achieved is I haven't unalived myself.
    Y'all just gonna scroll past without saying howdy?

  17. #10
    Siebenschlaefer's Avatar
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    Success for me is...

    Financial stability in a bearable job.
    It pays the bills and I don't hate my life completely for doing it + can manage it well with my mental state? Check.


    Peace of mind.
    ...for the lack of a better term.
    WIP for me. I have anxiety and ADHD and it makes me struggle a lot of times, but like being able to work a job 40hrs/week, being good at it despite it not being my 'dream' field is quite the success for me and I worked hard towards acknowleding it as such.
    I used to have a heavy (and still kind of have) mindset of not being able to appreciate things for what they are and rather thinking things like: "That's not an accomplishment, that's baseline functionality". Without realizing that "basic functionality" already is a success, especially when struggling with mental health.
    I consider myself a 'Borderline Misanthrope'* so not hating my life and myself for living it is basically a goal for me, and I'm working towards that myself and in therapy at the moment.

    *What I mean by that is that I had a lot of shitty experiences with people+the general way humans seem to be fucking up anything they touch in the big picture made me dislike humans (including myself) on a way too high scale to mentally bear for a long time.


    And, one very individual thing: Deciding to not have kids.
    I never wanted kids and I probably never will, and last year I went a big step forward in that decision by getting a sterilisation (not sure if that's the right term in english, basically "women vasectomy")
    And despite many people being critical about it, I fought my rising anxiety due to those critics and went with what I want and what I consider best for me right now, rather than thinking what could and may be and struggling in the present for something that may very well never happen in the future.
    Which is and has been a difficult thing for me a lot of times in my life.
    - Call me Sieben -

    Might struggle with social interactions and language barriers occasionally, please bare with me.

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