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  1. #1
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    Job/Lifestyle Dilemma

    I'm curious to hear about your opinions, age, and phase of life that you're in.

    So just a little background -

    I'm currently living in country A, with a job opportunity that pays me roughly $5000 per month, great benefits, 21 days of leave, chances to travel abroad for business, and a comfy office. I will be living with my parents and do not have to pay rent, food is cheap, transport is cheap, and I will be able to save a lot of money. The downside is that the lifestyle here is boring af and I dislike the weather/environment/surroundings.

    I also have a job offer in country B, however, the pay is roughly $3500~$4000 per month, relatively good benefits, 14 days of leave, chances of domestic travel only, and possibly a large workload. On top of that, I'll be living alone so I'd have to pay for rent. Food costs a little higher, transport a little higher, and I wouldn't be able to save as much as country A. However, I love the lifestyle there, I love the people there and I feel like I'd be happier there in terms of lifestyle.

    I'm currently in my 30s, single, and do not have many commitments in life except for my aging parents. Would love to hear some of your opinions on what you'd choose and your age/phase of life as well if it's not too much trouble!

    Thanks for reading

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    I am currently in 30's single also living with my parents. I dont have many commitments but I do have 5 pets so that would also make me think twice before moving to another country.

    I would not change... my parents are currently on a pretty long vacation. I really miss them. I don't think I want to live on my own. So my A is pretty much the same as yours except for the amazing salary that goes with your A.
    Cant you add some spice to your lifestyle in A? Why is it boring?
    I am oviosly very diffrent to you. I would say if it is possible go do B. Can you come back to A? If you don't like it?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unown View Post
    I'm curious to hear about your opinions, age, and phase of life that you're in.

    So just a little background -

    I'm currently living in country A, with a job opportunity that pays me roughly $5000 per month, great benefits, 21 days of leave, chances to travel abroad for business, and a comfy office. I will be living with my parents and do not have to pay rent, food is cheap, transport is cheap, and I will be able to save a lot of money. The downside is that the lifestyle here is boring af and I dislike the weather/environment/surroundings.

    I also have a job offer in country B, however, the pay is roughly $3500~$4000 per month, relatively good benefits, 14 days of leave, chances of domestic travel only, and possibly a large workload. On top of that, I'll be living alone so I'd have to pay for rent. Food costs a little higher, transport a little higher, and I wouldn't be able to save as much as country A. However, I love the lifestyle there, I love the people there and I feel like I'd be happier there in terms of lifestyle.

    I'm currently in my 30s, single, and do not have many commitments in life except for my aging parents. Would love to hear some of your opinions on what you'd choose and your age/phase of life as well if it's not too much trouble!

    Thanks for reading
    I'm replying to this as if I was put in your situation.

    Personally, I would go for the first job opportunity.
    Higher pay, better benefits, more days of leave, lower cost of living. Sounds like a winner to me –*in terms of material considerations
    However, I do agree that mental health and quality of life is very important, and something that only you can put a value to.
    Personally, I feel that the lifestyle wherever I go to is for me to shape, and make the best of, I don't think any realistic location could be that bad for me to take a >20% pay cut + higher cost of living + lousier benefits?

    Another thing I'd like to add is what your goal at the current stage of your life is. (e.g. Wealth accumulation, Experience gaining, Networking, etc) This would also contribute to my final choice.

    Lastly, I'd also see how the 2 different job opportunities can help me step up to future job opportunities. Which would benefit me more?

    All the best!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mudboots View Post
    I am currently in 30's single also living with my parents. I dont have many commitments but I do have 5 pets so that would also make me think twice before moving to another country.

    I would not change... my parents are currently on a pretty long vacation. I really miss them. I don't think I want to live on my own. So my A is pretty much the same as yours except for the amazing salary that goes with your A.
    Cant you add some spice to your lifestyle in A? Why is it boring?
    I am oviosly very diffrent to you. I would say if it is possible go do B. Can you come back to A? If you don't like it?
    Thank you for the response.

    I can definitely come back to A, since it's home and I'm a citizen here, which means finding a job or at least searching for a job would be easier than in a foreign country. I can't seem to add any space to my lifestyle in A because it's stifling, I dislike the weather and the environment and it's nothing short of a busy city-life grind where everyone's just moving too fast and I feel so trapped.

    The stability, safety, aging parents, and paycheck are what's making me want to stay though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shawn View Post
    I'm replying to this as if I was put in your situation.

    Personally, I would go for the first job opportunity.
    Higher pay, better benefits, more days of leave, lower cost of living. Sounds like a winner to me –*in terms of material considerations
    However, I do agree that mental health and quality of life is very important, and something that only you can put a value to.
    Personally, I feel that the lifestyle wherever I go to is for me to shape, and make the best of, I don't think any realistic location could be that bad for me to take a >20% pay cut + higher cost of living + lousier benefits?

    Another thing I'd like to add is what your goal at the current stage of your life is. (e.g. Wealth accumulation, Experience gaining, Networking, etc) This would also contribute to my final choice.

    Lastly, I'd also see how the 2 different job opportunities can help me step up to future job opportunities. Which would benefit me more?

    All the best!
    Thanks for that perspective!

    To be honest I'm at quite a loss right now. I took some time off to gather myself and think about what I want, but I only came to the conclusion of wanting to follow my heart for a bit and do what I think is right. But at the same time, that mentality of constantly choosing the safer bet is haunting me at the back of my mind thus I wanted to gather some opinions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unown View Post
    Thanks for that perspective!

    To be honest I'm at quite a loss right now. I took some time off to gather myself and think about what I want, but I only came to the conclusion of wanting to follow my heart for a bit and do what I think is right. But at the same time, that mentality of constantly choosing the safer bet is haunting me at the back of my mind thus I wanted to gather some opinions.
    What you want is 100% important. Give it a good thought, and make your choice
    I'm someone who likes a bit of safety and promise for the future so I'd personally choose the one that sets me up for success in # years time.

    Congrats on getting 2 great job opportunities!

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    Do you know which of these things are more important to you? Does one job or the other have better opportunity for career advancement, if that's something you care about?

    How important is weather/lifestyle? Is it something you can tolerate for a couple of years while you save before moving on to something else?

    As for your last question, I'm basically 31 and only recently started my career. Like a lot of people, I moved back in with my parents for a while during COVID, which allowed some savings, but it was with my old job, which didn't pay very well. For what it's worth, when I took on my new job I also had a verbal implied offer (something to the effect of "things are looking good and we're excited") at another company which would have provided much better WLB company culture, but the pay/benefits was tiny compared to the offer I went with even considering that it would have allowed me to stay with my parents and put everything into savings.

    My instinct is to say go for the first one, save as much as you can, then move on to something that fits you better in a location you like better, if the downsides are something you can tolerate.

    It might sound cliché but a weight pro/con list for each one might help, something like this:



    A B
    PRO -IMPORTANT CON - IMPORTANT
    PRO - NOT IMPORTANT CON - NOT IMPORTANT
    PRO –*IMPORTANT CON - IMPORTANT
    PRO - NOT IMPORTANT CON - NOT IMPORTANT


    You don't necessarily make a decision based solely on what the numbers tell you, but it might help you evaluate what matters, if there are any dealbreakers, et cetera...



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    I am mid-30s, live with a domestic partner and lived alone prior to that but have been financially independent for a long while now. If I were in your position, I would likely also choose position A depending on specifics after cost of living is taken into consideration. All my best advice is for you to do the math on it first to get a really solid objective baseline before deciding.

    Out of the gate, Job B is a 20 - 30% pay cut, and that doesn't even factor in the additional rent and cost of living. Depending on that, you could be looking at a severe cut in disposable income. Will your net take home pay be enough to get to utilize and enjoy the more preferable location Job B provides? If what you enjoy about it leans more toward outdoor places for hiking/beaches/etc, that's one thing, but if it's an urban lifestyle you enjoy, that's going to come with its own cost to access.

    I'd encourage you to sit down and make a monthly balance sheet for yourself first - start with the expected income of each position, subtract every recurring expense you can think of, and see where that lands. If Job B can still provide disposable income to offset the lower quality of life in Job A, maybe there is some validity to it.

    There's also some other stuff I'd take into consideration too.
    - You mention your parents are aging. Will you regret not spending the extra time with them that Job A provides?
    - Job B may have a high workload. How does the estimated pay per hour of each position look once you factor in the difference in workload?

    I work in corporate finance and live among spreadsheets regarding revenue and cost analysis, if there's anything I can help with let me know! I help irl friends with putting their personal P&Ls together all the time.

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    Everyone has given such insightful advice! Congratulations on your new opportunity
    I'd also look into the tax rates between the two and if there is a significant difference in your take home pay. Personally I would go with A. I think rent is the biggest expense for a lot of people and you could put that towards savings/travel to get out of country A more often. It's easier to have more disposable income to adjust your quality of life. @(you need an account to see links) makes a great point of creating a budget to see how far your money will go! Country A sounds like the more comfortable choice, but I understand you wanting to try something new with country B.

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    I would go for option A because well it's a better payment and more comfy, and you're also close to your parents if anything. But that's me, you need to sit down and meditate your reasons and weigh them.

    I'm on early 30's living with my husband for like almost 6 years, both working and economically independent. We left our homes those same 6 years ago coz things we're going downhill there unfortunately and needed a better life and payment. We still have no children but we support our families and it's coming close to a point where I need to change for a better job (actual one is very workload and while I learned a lot it doesn't justify for me anymore).

    I suggest you think what you're aiming for the future too.

    If you have no commitments maybe you could give it a try to B and then come back to A as someone else said?








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    Quote Originally Posted by kittyray View Post
    Do you know which of these things are more important to you? Does one job or the other have better opportunity for career advancement, if that's something you care about?

    How important is weather/lifestyle? Is it something you can tolerate for a couple of years while you save before moving on to something else?

    As for your last question, I'm basically 31 and only recently started my career. Like a lot of people, I moved back in with my parents for a while during COVID, which allowed some savings, but it was with my old job, which didn't pay very well. For what it's worth, when I took on my new job I also had a verbal implied offer (something to the effect of "things are looking good and we're excited") at another company which would have provided much better WLB company culture, but the pay/benefits was tiny compared to the offer I went with even considering that it would have allowed me to stay with my parents and put everything into savings.

    My instinct is to say go for the first one, save as much as you can, then move on to something that fits you better in a location you like better, if the downsides are something you can tolerate.

    It might sound cliché but a weight pro/con list for each one might help, something like this:

    You don't necessarily make a decision based solely on what the numbers tell you, but it might help you evaluate what matters, if there are any dealbreakers, et cetera...
    Thank you for this!

    I'm currently leaning towards B despite all the downsides because it allows me to live in an environment that I very much prefer.

    I have tried living in country A for the past 2-3 years and it was quite horrible. I was a little bit depressed (probably due to COVID more than anything) and was having a hard time finding a reason to live past the mundane cycle of life. I took a short break off work when more countries opened up and now I'm feeling much better about moving on.

    There are more logical pros than cons in A, but B came out with more emotional pros. My sentiment is pretty similar to almost everyone else - take the one with better pay and benefits and just tolerate it till something better comes along.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alister View Post
    I am mid-30s, live with a domestic partner and lived alone prior to that but have been financially independent for a long while now. If I were in your position, I would likely also choose position A depending on specifics after cost of living is taken into consideration. All my best advice is for you to do the math on it first to get a really solid objective baseline before deciding.

    Out of the gate, Job B is a 20 - 30% pay cut, and that doesn't even factor in the additional rent and cost of living. Depending on that, you could be looking at a severe cut in disposable income. Will your net take home pay be enough to get to utilize and enjoy the more preferable location Job B provides? If what you enjoy about it leans more toward outdoor places for hiking/beaches/etc, that's one thing, but if it's an urban lifestyle you enjoy, that's going to come with its own cost to access.

    I'd encourage you to sit down and make a monthly balance sheet for yourself first - start with the expected income of each position, subtract every recurring expense you can think of, and see where that lands. If Job B can still provide disposable income to offset the lower quality of life in Job A, maybe there is some validity to it.

    There's also some other stuff I'd take into consideration too.
    - You mention your parents are aging. Will you regret not spending the extra time with them that Job A provides?
    - Job B may have a high workload. How does the estimated pay per hour of each position look once you factor in the difference in workload?

    I work in corporate finance and live among spreadsheets regarding revenue and cost analysis, if there's anything I can help with let me know! I help irl friends with putting their personal P&Ls together all the time.
    Thank you Alister!! I'll do that. My parents are definitely a huge concern and one of the things that is stopping me from leaving ):

    Quote Originally Posted by bottledwater View Post
    Everyone has given such insightful advice! Congratulations on your new opportunity
    I'd also look into the tax rates between the two and if there is a significant difference in your take home pay. Personally I would go with A. I think rent is the biggest expense for a lot of people and you could put that towards savings/travel to get out of country A more often. It's easier to have more disposable income to adjust your quality of life. @(you need an account to see links) makes a great point of creating a budget to see how far your money will go! Country A sounds like the more comfortable choice, but I understand you wanting to try something new with country B.
    Thank you!

    Oh yeah tax rate is definitely a concern as well.

    Yeah I believe the budget sheet would be my best form of calculation right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkSkies View Post
    I would go for option A because well it's a better payment and more comfy, and you're also close to your parents if anything. But that's me, you need to sit down and meditate your reasons and weigh them.

    I'm on early 30's living with my husband for like almost 6 years, both working and economically independent. We left our homes those same 6 years ago coz things we're going downhill there unfortunately and needed a better life and payment. We still have no children but we support our families and it's coming close to a point where I need to change for a better job (actual one is very workload and while I learned a lot it doesn't justify for me anymore).

    I suggest you think what you're aiming for the future too.

    If you have no commitments maybe you could give it a try to B and then come back to A as someone else said?
    Thank you for all your perspectives, everyone!

    They've really helped in my thought process and have also added some things that I have overlooked.

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