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Thread: Heard any good jokes lately?

  1. #1
    zypiris's Avatar
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    Heard any good jokes lately?

    I have a bad habit of indulging puns. They've just got such punch. I thought, why not share some of the ones I've heard recently and ask if anyone has heard any nice jokes/anecdotes/etc. Hit me with your best shot!
    Warning: Not for the faint of heart. The punishment can be brutal.



    What kinds of jokes do you guys like? What makes a good joke in your opinion?

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  3. #2
    Gyaoo!
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    My life

    (sorry I had to lol)


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    zypiris's Avatar
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    I think we've all been there. Possibly repeatedly, over the last year...?

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    Came here to say exactly what @(you need an account to see links) said lol!

    What do you call a French man wearing sandals?
    Phillipe Phillope


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    This is my hub's fav stupid joke and I hate it so fucking much (it mostly makes sense when spoken aloud, when you read it hopefully you understand why) I can't remember it word for word so here is my creative interpretation of its retelling lmao.



    Yeah I hated every second of writing that out lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ice View Post
    This is my hub's fav stupid joke and I hate it so fucking much (it mostly makes sense when spoken aloud, when you read it hopefully you understand why) I can't remember it word for word so here is my creative interpretation of its retelling lmao.



    Yeah I hated every second of writing that out lol.
    Okay okay I feel like this would only make sense if we pronounced things like g'day like g'die, but its definitely g'daye

    Complimentary Aussie joke cause we love taking the piss out of ourselves!



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  13. #7
    overthink.exe
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    I love bad jokes and terrible puns, but I have the memory of a walnut, so this is the only one I can think of right now.


    How many devs does it take to change a lightbulb?

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    zypiris's Avatar
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    These are all so satisfyingly terrible. Time to stoke the fire.

    When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?
    When it becomes apparent.


    Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
    There was nothing left but de Brie.

    I, for one, like Roman numerals.

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    Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I'll have H2O." The other says, "I'll have H2O, too." The second scientist dies.

    A termite walks into a bar and says "Is the bar tender here?"

    What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
    Anna 1, Anna 2.

    What do you call a guy standing on the edge of the ocean with a seagull on his head?
    Cliff.

    Knock knock Who's there?
    Daisy.

    Daisy who?
    Daisy me rollin', they hatin'...
    (Alternatively: Daisy me mowin', my front lawn...)

    A Jedi, a Bene Gesserit and a wizard of Unseen University walk into a bar just as it opens. The bartender's small child is taking the chairs down from the tables by just looking at them- he stares at each chair, it slides away from the table, flips right-side-up in midair, and slides into place at the table. Jaws drop all around.
    The Bene Gesserit exclaims, "You have the Kwisatz Haderach!"
    The Jedi, "You have The Chosen One who will bring balance to The Force!"
    The UU wizard says, "You have any Jimkin Bearhugger's whiskey?"

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