What did you have to unlearn, or are still in the process of unlearning?

**fairyfloss** · 04-28-2021

@(you need an account to see links), thank you so much. I’ve come out as ex Mormon and some people got nasty, even people I barely knew/strangers online (I’m in a support group that gets trolls).

I don’t take it to heart, even when they try to make me feel bad (and call me swear words...guess swearing isn’t okay unless it’s at an apostate lmao). I do call out the rude people and throw their religion back in their face.

I wish your friend had more support, I’m glad they had you as a friend.

younger mormons especially have trouble making non-LDS friends because either the parents won’t let them hang with non LDS kids or they’re brainwashed to think that if you’re not Mormon you can’t be friends. It’s awful. I could write an essay or something on the sketchy stuff the Mormon church has done.

You know, besides the

**My name is Yoshikage Kira** · 04-28-2021

Love this thread, wishing everyone here continued growth

For me (TW)

**Gorilla** · 04-29-2021

Thank you Nala for the invitation to think introspectively and thank you to everyone whos shared their journeys

It took me some pondering to come up with something that felt true and meaningful

**Cookie Tray** · 04-29-2021

Unlearning internalized ableism re: mental and physical disability, internalized orientalism and racism, cissexism, and a boatload of American imperialist and capitalist propaganda. It's been at least a decade of unlearning and only in the last few years did I realized they were all linked together. My debilitating mental illness (anxiety and depression so bad I could not leave the house for years) were caused entirely by environmental factors such as racism and capitalism, how society treats autistic & trans folks, etc. Once I learned that, and that CBT was useless for those of us who are forced to live in a country where we are not valued and our lives are deemed worthless. I am still unlearning that my value is linked to my productivity and desirability. I've had to learn to ask for help for things as simple as giving me space before I have a meltdown, to things more "embarrassing" like help getting dressed and going to the bathroom when I can't physically move.

What's helped most is surrounding myself with a supportive community of friends that understand all of these interwoven issues and share accessible resources. It's easiest to navigate through adulthood when you don't have to explain yourself every 2 seconds, and people give you the space and understanding that you need. I've unlearned a great deal of self-hatred about by inability to work the way I'd like to or do my hobbies due to my physical disabilities, and my loving partner has helped make day-to-day life easier in an otherwise inaccessible home.

**Nala** · 04-29-2021

Ahh thank you for sharing everyone! ;_;
Every response I read is so honest and thought out, I wish us all the strength and motivation to continue working against our own cognitive dissonance ^-^ I'm proud of you all!

**fairyfloss** · 04-30-2021

If I may add another thing I’m unlearning is how I see my body.

tw: eating disorder

eating properly is something I really had to teach myself and I’m getting there. Now it’s not seeing obese me in the mirror anymore

**Cinnamoroll** · 04-30-2021

Phew..I feel like there was a lot I had to unlearn from growing up in a somewhat emotionally abusive and very controlling environment... and I think one of the biggest and hardest things to unlearn for me was realising I don’t need to live in constant fear of being yelled at and not having to ask permission to do basic tasks/things?

As mentioned earlier in the thread as well, I was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, so I have to unlearn some things related to that, which is hard ;-; but I still try my best!

Also to I believe it was @(you need an account to see links) who mentioned they are an Ex-Mo: I wish you nothing but love, support and healing. Leaving a religion (especially one like that) is such a huge thing to do. I am PROUD OF YOU!

**Nala** · 05-01-2021

Originally Posted by Cinnamoroll

realising I don’t need to live in constant fear of being yelled at and not having to ask permission to do basic tasks/things?

I felt this one in my bones, but like, backwards? Hahah like after leaving my parents' house, I started doing everything that would've got me in trouble but definitely pushing my own boundaries in an unhealthy way. I almost wished that someone yelled at me, told me I couldn't "just do whatever I wanted" cuz I needed to flip them off so bad LMAO
But that's a thing of the past, now everything's all good, and fortunately I have the best relationship with my parents ^-^

**Ganymede** · 06-02-2021

The best thing I “unlearned” during this pandemic is thinking I’m underqualified for every job where I don’t fit 100% of the job requirements. My ex really drummed it into my head that most people apply for these jobs (generally unskilled jobs) without a thought for qualifications and are less qualified than me, but get the job because they went for it.

**andraste12** · 06-02-2021

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