What did you have to unlearn, or are still in the process of unlearning?

[Dot]

I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. The result of that was that I've unlearned a lot of guilt and self deprecating thoughts, which in turn has made my depression a lot better. It's been hard, because I exhibited (in hindsight) somewhat obvious symptoms since the age of three, and that's almost 20 years of pent up guilt and self hatred. Concurrent with my diagnosis is of course the unlearning of "ADHD-ish" behaviour that affects others; for me that was trying to make an increased effort in not interrupting during conversation, being on time for appointments, not being hurt to tears any time I perceived rejection, and other things I can't remember lol. Something I've learned since my diagnosis and am trying to unlearn because it pisses me off is the fact that this bs is for life and could possibly be inherited by my children. Yeah, it can be meditated and you can learn coping behaviours, but it'll never be completely gone.

[Ambient]

I have a really bad habit of being impatient and jumping to conclusions, because i just want to get things done as quick as I can with no hassle, but in the process of doing that I realised that I end up rushing things. I'm basically teaching myself to be patient with myself and with others.

I am in the same boat. I even had a job interview yesterday, and they asked me what I would say my biggest weakness is, and I told them I could be impatient. I'm not just like that in work, but in life. My daughter has really helped me with this though. She is naturally much more relaxed in the way she does things. Even the speed at which she gets up and walks, even when I tell her to hurry, is lacking a sense of urgency I feel like I have in every single movement I make. And for awhile it was very frustrating for me, but I am learning that there are just people wired differently than me, and that is okay. It's a very long road I will be on, but I think I am making progress. Good luck on your journey in patience, you're a badass for being willing to see your own imperfections and for bettering yourself!

[Hollow]

I am in the same boat. I even had a job interview yesterday, and they asked me what I would say my biggest weakness is, and I told them I could be impatient. I'm not just like that in work, but in life. My daughter has really helped me with this though. She is naturally much more relaxed in the way she does things. Even the speed at which she gets up and walks, even when I tell her to hurry, is lacking a sense of urgency I feel like I have in every single movement I make. And for awhile it was very frustrating for me, but I am learning that there are just people wired differently than me, and that is okay. It's a very long road I will be on, but I think I am making progress. Good luck on your journey in patience, you're a badass for being willing to see your own imperfections and for bettering yourself!

Thanks for the luck! It truly is a work in progress, I've always been like this, it's like I'm always racing with my self to get to the finish line but realise there was nothing to race for. Best of luck with your interview too! Hope it went well We are both on similar journeys it seems!

[Ambient]

I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. The result of that was that I've unlearned a lot of guilt and self deprecating thoughts, which in turn has made my depression a lot better. It's been hard, because I exhibited (in hindsight) somewhat obvious symptoms since the age of three, and that's almost 20 years of pent up guilt and self hatred. Concurrent with my diagnosis is of course the unlearning of "ADHD-ish" behaviour that affects others; for me that was trying to make an increased effort in not interrupting during conversation, being on time for appointments, not being hurt to tears any time I perceived rejection, and other things I can't remember lol. Something I've learned since my diagnosis and am trying to unlearn because it pisses me off is the fact that this bs is for life and could possibly be inherited by my children. Yeah, it can be meditated and you can learn coping behaviours, but it'll never be completely gone.

You're beautiful as you are. I too was diagnosed much later than I should have been and spent years being told I had several anxiety, depression and adjustment disorders instead, so I felt like I was just a mess. The good news is, that once you get comfortable with it being who you are, it does get a bit easier. I warn people that this is who I am and they have to deal with it or they can leave. My daughter was blessed with the same disorder, and while school can be quite the struggle, I can see so much greatness in her. I think people like us function on an entirely different level most of the time. And that gets shadowed by what society has labeled as negative behaviors. My daughter, yeah she's a bit of a mess, but that's because there is so much more going on in her mind than most people could ever imagine, and I'll be there every step of the way to help make sure she uses that to her advantage in life, and that she doesn't get stuck in the cycle the way you and I did for years! You are fabulous as you are. Your mind is beautiful. You are just on another level many people cannot comprehend. Good luck on your self love journey. If you ever need to chat, I'm here!

[TsUNaMy WaVe]

Great thread!

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[Unlucky]

I'm trying to unlearn sabotaging myself and my opportunities. Quite a few posts here about impostor syndrome... I have to say I relate to a lot of what you guys said. I didn't know the term, I'm gonna look into it.

[fairyfloss]

Still in the process of learning how to not be a Mormon. that religion caused me so much depression yet I still feel guilty going to the store on sunday, wearing a tank top or drink coffee...oh and cards. no idea how to play cards.

[Nala]

Still in the process of learning how to not be a Mormon. that religion caused me so much depression yet I still feel guilty going to the store on sunday, wearing a tank top or drink coffee...oh and cards. no idea how to play cards.

TW// mentioned loss of a loved one

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[parapex]

Oh gosh yeah.
I'm gonna put this under a spoiler in case people are uncomfortable with topics of emotional abuse

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So, like two years after all that, I get into another relationship and this guy is confused and...almost weirded out by my behavior, he doesn't understand why I apologize for everything, he doesn't understand why I'm so apologetic about wanting time alone.

And honestly I'm still confused on why I deserve kindness like that. After two years of being criticized on almost everything I do.

But, like, I'm working on it.

[Nala]

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