Navigating Life As An Adult

[Flordibel]

You must always buy name brand cooking oil if you intend to deep fry.

I've never deep fried - this is great to know!!

[My name is Yoshikage Kira]

-Declutter your home and belongings a couple times each year. Good method to go about it is asking yourself a few questions for each item:
1. Does it have sentimental value and cannot be replaced?
2. Am I going to need this item within X amount of time?
3. Does it cost more than $X to replace if I do need it?

This has helped massively reduce the amount of clutter around me and makes moving and reorganizing soo much easier.

20. Hunting for a new apartment to rent or buy? Whether through an agent or owner, do not show any excitement or intent to take it on the spot. You may get swindled and you may seriously hinder the negotiation process. Also, check every single faucet, cupboard, armoire, etc. Check every corner and surroundings of the building as well, the last thing you want is to move in to a stunning, roach-infested flat with no water and poor wiring. If you're buying, HIRE someone to do this for you.

-This! If possible have the landlord/owner/whoever is handling the property do a walk through and sign off on the damages you find then give you a copy afterwards. Too often scumbag landlords will say "it wasn't documented" and charge you for it anyways, make sure they get work orders in asap for any repairs.
Turn on all the sinks, light switches, fans, etc to make sure everything works before/immediately after you move in.

-Make a list of whatever you find yourself needing but don't have the money for right away. Once you do have the money you can reference that list rather than forgetting and spending the money elsewhere.

-Teach yourself how to read and understand bills. Have encountered too many older adults during my years that do not understand how to read their bills and match it up to payments made.

-Check your insurance policies regularly to ensure you have the same coverages as before. Sometimes a change may take place that you do not notice and you'll be out of luck when you do need that coverage.
And on that note write down serial numbers to any appliances, take photos of furniture and electronics in case you ever need to file a claim. Some companies may require those before processing the claim.

[Sora]

I'm 25 but I'm not living on my own just yet. Lots of great tips from you guys that I will definitely keep in mind! Thanks!

I don't think I have much to share.

- Car maintenance. Try to stay on top of your car's condition; oil change & repair records, tires/mileage, etc. If a maintenance light lights up on your dashboard, it's honestly best to get it checked out sooner than later. I'm one who always puts those kinds of things off out of fear of the final cost. But you never know, it could be something really simple to fix either at home yourself or at a mechanic.

- Food prep. Like others said, buying your food in bulk and preparing it all at once to freeze or refrigerate later is time-saving and convenient. For example, my household will make several large portions of lasagna, rice, chicken dishes, potatoes, etc. all at once. Refrigerate leftovers and freeze anything that may go bad soon. Then it's as easy as heating up your frozen leftovers when you don't feel like cooking.

- Try to save money by buying store brand whenever you can. Like some others said, it's really only necessary to buy brand name Dawn, cooking oil, and chocolate (I think that's what was mentioned?). I haven't done the calculations, but I'm confident that my household saves a sizeable amount by sticking to the cheaper alternative when it comes to food, OTC medicine, toilet paper, paper towels, etc.

[jellybelly]

Oh Flordi, you crack me up.

It's great to see so many well-thought posts here. I have just one to contribute that hasn't already been said or isn't super obvious.

If you're an online shopper (like me), look into cashback programs. I have two browser extensions that will offer varying levels of cashback on purchases - they'll often have a better rate on one, so having 2 lets me optimise. I recently got a nice payout of $140 from the past year. I would have bought those things anyway, but now I get a bit back. Our grocery chains used to be involved (pre-COVID panic buying...I'm really hoping they partner again soon!), so I could:
* select my products and pick-up time
* take advantage of discount codes that in-person shopping doesn't allow
* get 5% off the total by paying with giftcards (buy them at 5% off, use them myself instead of gifting)
* get 3.5%+ cashback (3.5% was standard, though sometimes there'd be bonuses)

Just by adjusting my habits for buying groceries for my family, I was saving 8.5%+. Most online shops (save little niche boutique types) seem to have a partnership with one or more cashback companies these days, so it's worth looking into.

*note* I am Australian, which means we don't have the 'coupon culture' that America has. I wish we did. I'd be one of those hardcore bargain hunters. I have to work with what I've got though.

I definitely second this, using cashback apps adds up over time! Especially if you have a large purchase in there. One time we needed to buy a new laptop as ours was broken, the site offered cashback and we used it. We got a nice $150 ish or so back in a few months time on top of the sale price!

You must always buy name brand cooking oil if you intend to deep fry.

Making a cake with it? Eh it's probably alright to use the Great Value brand, I guess. But please don't deep fry in anything that isn't a major label.

Chocolate also needs to be a major label, name brand, good quality. The quality of the chocolate you use in your baking will massively change the overall taste of your end result, whether it's chocolate chip cookies or a chocolate cake. (Likewise never buy the random offbrand 99 cent Easter chocolates - buy the good stuff, at least go with the mid-tier Hersheys/Mars/Etc. or upgrade to Russell Stover or Godiva etc.)

I agree with buying good quality chocolate, it really does make a difference in baking! I've tried both cheap and more quality chocolate and the latter tasted so much better. Even just for eating by itself, good quality chocolate is so much more satisfying....I love eating chocolate....

-Make a list of whatever you find yourself needing but don't have the money for right away. Once you do have the money you can reference that list rather than forgetting and spending the money elsewhere.

This is a really good, a good thing to do for things you 'want' as well to prevent impulse purchases. As I find when there's something I want, but then a few weeks or months later I decide I actually don't really need it anymore or there's something else I want more haha.

• Other things I like to do are check the weekly catalogues to see what is on sale and I kinda base what I eat of that, as a bunch of items are like half the price.
  
• Maybe also calculate if private health insurance is worth it. Previously it was for me as I used it for dental cleaning, teeth extraction and prescription glasses. Dental cleaning without insurance is around $100 on its own, teeth extraction can be around, from experience, $200-$400 per tooth and prescription glasses, $200 or so.
  
• Keeping a diary is good if you don't already, to note things you need to do and to remember if you aren't good at it (like myself). I'm much worse at keeping track of things now that I no longer study so I'm trying to get back into it.
  
• If you aren't completely satisfied with something (even if its a small purchase) - send a complaint! I've done this numerous times where products I purchased I wasn't completely happy with or the quality was different compared to before. I send them a respectful complaint stating what happened, providing photos and suggesting a solution or asking what they could do. More often they send me a replacement product right away, a gift card to purchase a replacement or sometimes they just thank me for my feedback lol. I used to be that person who just would suck it up and not complain, 'Oh it was just a few dollars...' but then this really adds up over time when I wasn't totally happy with the product!
  
• Before buying something, check if second hand options are available. I know a lot of people resell their items even when it is basically new. I've saved a good chunk doing this way. Sometimes buying new is just much more viable though, depending on the product.
  
• I too like to try and declutter a couple times a year to see what I could sell off, especially if I plan to buy new things/have bought new things. Sometimes it's surprising to see the items that get sold first and the things that you thought would be popular take much longer haha.

Last one to add as I experienced this recently. It would be good if we all make sure to slow down in and stay within the speed limit especially in residential areas and be aware of surroundings as you never know something or someone might pop out of no where such as a cat, dog or small kid!

I saw a cat, that most likely died from a hit and run just lying directly in the middle of the road just before a speed hump (<20km/hr) after returning home from my walk (the cat wasn't there when I first started walking so the incident would have been recent). If the cat was hit, the person who hit the cat just left which was really sad. I know not everyone cares for animals and think they are important but it would have been good to take responsibility (accidents do happen!) by taking the cat in and getting him/her for a microchip. The cat most likely had a family and it was sad to see the cat just died alone in a pool of blood, the cat looked liked he/she tried to walk a few steps forward too so that was heart breaking. So dangerous out there for pets to be outside on their own, but I know not everyone will have indoor only pets...

Cars just continued to drive pass the deceased body and I was worried he/she would be trampled on again by a car, so don't worry, I went back home to grab a box, moved the cat to the box and placed him/her off the road. I reported the incident to the council so hopefully if the cat had an owner, the owner could say good bye properly. *tears*

[Nattiee]

I added a period right after "to kill" and nodded, yup! Yup, that is correct. Gotta protect self from home intruders. x]

My mother taught me a whole bunch of housekeeping shit growing up, but fuuuuuuuuuuu, she never taught me any social skills. Or anything good relating to people.

"Read the room" was something that took me way too long to figure out. ><

One of the most valuable lessons I learned as an adult was to get out of bad relationships, both friendships and romantic. I know some people just know this, but fuuuuuuu, I was in an unhappy romantic relationship for like 5 years before I woke up and wondered "wtf am I doing, I'm never going to be happy like this." Same with friends! I used to think "I've been 'friends' with this person for sooo long, do I really want to throw away this friendship just because they only contact me when they need something and they kinda make fun of me all the time?" NO. Get rid of people who make you unhappy in your life or do bad things (definition of 'bad things' differ between people) ! Plenty of other people to be friends with!!

And of course, the same tip led me to have a somewhat strained relationship with my angry mother, but she's still my mother so I still hang around to make sure she's okay. ;-;


And don't always trust your first professional, whether it be a doctor, your plumber, a vet, etc, unless they've earned that trust already. If something is major, always get a second opinion! I've had a terrible doctor who let me suffer for half a year because he didn't believe I was suffering through pain symptoms. I went to this guy 3 times in six months! He just wouldn't believe me! Went to another doctor a month later who fixed me that same day (twas.. a yeast infection -__- ). Ugh, I was taught to always trust doctors b/c "they went to med school" blah blah blah, but some of them just wont listen to you. Now I have a great doctor who I'd trust with my life after 'shopping around' for a couple years. Make them earn your trust! Dont just trust them because they have a very expensive piece of paper!

THIS. SO MUCH THIS.
It's NEVER too late. No matter how old you are or how many children you have. It's never too late to leave a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships don't have to be abundantly clear like physical violence, name calling, etc. If you don't feel respected or loved.. If you don't feel like you can count on that person at the end of the day - leave. Of course, it's not "adult" to just run away, either. It's important to work with your partner, friend, etc to make things right first. Communication is key. But don't ever think you have to stay or settle if you're not getting what YOU need out of someone, especially after making it clear.

"I need you to be more considerate"
"I need you to help more around the house"
"I need you to communicate better"
"I need you to make me a priority"

You're not being needy & your feelings are never invalid. You feel a certain way for a reason. You might be dramatic about it (heck, I'm more dramatic than that episode with Kim Kardashian lost a diamond earring in the water), but you can work on that. You can work on the delivery of your message. The content and importance of the message remain.

Not everything has to be linear. Its not school -> career -> partner -> moving in together -> marriage -> kids, etc. It's what works for you.

[alexsandro22]

You're right. People should be ready to be adult.. it's serious time

[incognito]

For being 30 years old, I feel like I don't have a lot to add here that hasn't already been said.

My realm is way more credit/banking. I didn't see this one, so I'll add it—

Overdraft or late fees? Call your bank and ask to have them removed. Most major and community banks have a 6x per year allotment that they will reverse OD, late, (and the like) fees. Seeing as a lot of banks charge upwards of $30, this can add up. I'd recommend calling after each instance; many banks won't want to return money if greater than 7-10 days has lapsed. Just the number on the back of your card (customer service), explain you're going through a hard time. Lie if you have to. It's your money, take it back.

COVID related specifically? You HAVE to call and specifically tell them that. It may grant you even larger concessions or protections; banks were provided government assistance money specifically to help cover these instances. Banks will not just automatically assume or give benefit of the doubt that it's COVID related or that you need help. You HAVE to ask (side note: fantastic adult lesson, ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT. SERIOUSLY.) Don't be ashamed. Us low-level bank employees (I know some people HATE bankers, guess what, we have to feed our families too, it's just the CEO's who are rich so hate them lmfao) are literally doing it with our own accounts.

Sincerely,

A Bank Employee

[BoopnDoot]

Okay I'm probably coming at this from a weird angle here, I've moved out a bunch of times, but never actually lived alone so that can affect my experiences, plus I have a lot of trouble with executive dysfunction so feel free to read this as more of a being an adult when it's hard to be a person angle. This is kinda long, and a lot of them are more abstract concepts for more inner-life stuff. Also a lot of it is probably obvious but I've made a lot of stupid mistakes and had to learn a lot of obvious lessons.

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[MrSlowBro]

life roughh

[skyance]

this pandemic is making things worse