Navigating Life As An Adult

[Nattiee]

I stumbled upon a website that had a Tumblr post about someone asking how to be an adult because their parents weren't teaching them essential life lessons. (Not going to pretend like I know how to navigate Tumblr so (you need an account to see links) to the website with the post)

It made me curious because as soon as I feel like I'm starting to get a handle on being an adult, something happens and I think "Why didn't anyone teach me/tell me this?"

So I thought maybe we could have a discussion and share wisdom. What valuable tips/life lessons have you learned that's been essential to you as an adult?


For me, I've learned a lot more about everything that needs to be cleaned once you're a homeowner (and how to clean it):
- Baseboards need a good wipe down every so often. You can collect dust easier with a Dryer Sheet than anything else for this.
- You should be cleaning out your washing machine, too - especially if you use liquid detergents and fabric softener. Cleaning involves running a large HOT load with some bleach. If you have a front loader, there's usually a filter on the bottom left of the machine and you need to clean out the water that's in there because that's why your washing machine smells like shit. Also always keep the lid up.
- Did you know your dishwasher has a filter? Yeah learned that a few years after owning my first one (ew.) Clean it out. Also run an empty load with 1/2 cup of beach once in a while
- Hot water + 1 tsp of Tide powdered laundry can clean almost everything; cupboards, flooring of all types (if you have tile, I recommend bleach. DO NOT use bleach on marble), take out stains in carpet/fabric
- This is stupidly evident but read the labels of the cleaning products you buy. It took me until THIS YEAR to realize the toilet bowl cleaner I use needs to sit for 10 minutes before it actually disinfects. *facepalm*
- Stone counter tops need to be resealed every so often (2-5 years), even if you take good care of your home.

[Autobot]

This is a neat thread so I suppose I can contribute, but whether my knowledge is useful is uh??? For context I've been living on my own for a few years now, working full-time in a city 6-7 hours away from my family/home city. My first time being alone was back in college and it was a physical/emotional disaster, but I like to think I've gotten better since then:

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Hm, most of these are food related... sorry...

[Nattiee]

This is a neat thread so I suppose I can contribute, but whether my knowledge is useful is uh??? For context I've been living on my own for a few years now, working full-time in a city 6-7 hours away from my family/home city. My first time being alone was back in college and it was a physical/emotional disaster, but I like to think I've gotten better since then:

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Hm, most of these are food related... sorry...

I love all these.

Your "stay hydrated" tip reminded me of this;

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I don't drink nearly enough liquid as I should in a day. I even invested in a water bottle that flashes when it's time for you to drink. This is an ongoing opportunity for me!

I should also add, I've started buying food in bulk and freezing meats/etc. I used to portion the meat, but never anything else. Flatting your ground beef, pork turkey, etc in a Ziploc takes a lot less room in your fridge than all the weird shapes meat comes in.
Also, don't be afraid to buy your meat in a large chunk and separate it at home. A lot cheaper than buying pre-cut meat.

In some places, a pork loin is $20-$30. You can divide that up into several meals depending on how many mouths you're feeding. Here's a quick pic from google to show you how someone divides their loin (giggity).

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and YAAAASS to your last tip especially <3

[Flordibel]

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[Mama Bear]

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Oh Flordi, you crack me up.

It's great to see so many well-thought posts here. I have just one to contribute that hasn't already been said or isn't super obvious.

If you're an online shopper (like me), look into cashback programs. I have two browser extensions that will offer varying levels of cashback on purchases - they'll often have a better rate on one, so having 2 lets me optimise. I recently got a nice payout of $140 from the past year. I would have bought those things anyway, but now I get a bit back. Our grocery chains used to be involved (pre-COVID panic buying...I'm really hoping they partner again soon!), so I could:
* select my products and pick-up time
* take advantage of discount codes that in-person shopping doesn't allow
* get 5% off the total by paying with giftcards (buy them at 5% off, use them myself instead of gifting)
* get 3.5%+ cashback (3.5% was standard, though sometimes there'd be bonuses)

Just by adjusting my habits for buying groceries for my family, I was saving 8.5%+. Most online shops (save little niche boutique types) seem to have a partnership with one or more cashback companies these days, so it's worth looking into.

*note* I am Australian, which means we don't have the 'coupon culture' that America has. I wish we did. I'd be one of those hardcore bargain hunters. I have to work with what I've got though.

[SpaceyGirl]

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I added a period right after "to kill" and nodded, yup! Yup, that is correct. Gotta protect self from home intruders. x]

My mother taught me a whole bunch of housekeeping shit growing up, but fuuuuuuuuuuu, she never taught me any social skills. Or anything good relating to people.

"Read the room" was something that took me way too long to figure out. ><

One of the most valuable lessons I learned as an adult was to get out of bad relationships, both friendships and romantic. I know some people just know this, but fuuuuuuu, I was in an unhappy romantic relationship for like 5 years before I woke up and wondered "wtf am I doing, I'm never going to be happy like this." Same with friends! I used to think "I've been 'friends' with this person for sooo long, do I really want to throw away this friendship just because they only contact me when they need something and they kinda make fun of me all the time?" NO. Get rid of people who make you unhappy in your life or do bad things (definition of 'bad things' differ between people) ! Plenty of other people to be friends with!!

And of course, the same tip led me to have a somewhat strained relationship with my angry mother, but she's still my mother so I still hang around to make sure she's okay. ;-;


And don't always trust your first professional, whether it be a doctor, your plumber, a vet, etc, unless they've earned that trust already. If something is major, always get a second opinion! I've had a terrible doctor who let me suffer for half a year because he didn't believe I was suffering through pain symptoms. I went to this guy 3 times in six months! He just wouldn't believe me! Went to another doctor a month later who fixed me that same day (twas.. a yeast infection -__- ). Ugh, I was taught to always trust doctors b/c "they went to med school" blah blah blah, but some of them just wont listen to you. Now I have a great doctor who I'd trust with my life after 'shopping around' for a couple years. Make them earn your trust! Dont just trust them because they have a very expensive piece of paper!

[Nattiee]

I added a period right after "to kill" and nodded, yup! Yup, that is correct. Gotta protect self from home intruders. x]

My mother taught me a whole bunch of housekeeping shit growing up, but fuuuuuuuuuuu, she never taught me any social skills. Or anything good relating to people.

"Read the room" was something that took me way too long to figure out. ><

One of the most valuable lessons I learned as an adult was to get out of bad relationships, both friendships and romantic. I know some people just know this, but fuuuuuuu, I was in an unhappy romantic relationship for like 5 years before I woke up and wondered "wtf am I doing, I'm never going to be happy like this." Same with friends! I used to think "I've been 'friends' with this person for sooo long, do I really want to throw away this friendship just because they only contact me when they need something and they kinda make fun of me all the time?" NO. Get rid of people who make you unhappy in your life or do bad things (definition of 'bad things' differ between people) ! Plenty of other people to be friends with!!

And of course, the same tip led me to have a somewhat strained relationship with my angry mother, but she's still my mother so I still hang around to make sure she's okay. ;-;


And don't always trust your first professional, whether it be a doctor, your plumber, a vet, etc, unless they've earned that trust already. If something is major, always get a second opinion! I've had a terrible doctor who let me suffer for half a year because he didn't believe I was suffering through pain symptoms. I went to this guy 3 times in six months! He just wouldn't believe me! Went to another doctor a month later who fixed me that same day (twas.. a yeast infection -__- ). Ugh, I was taught to always trust doctors b/c "they went to med school" blah blah blah, but some of them just wont listen to you. Now I have a great doctor who I'd trust with my life after 'shopping around' for a couple years. Make them earn your trust! Dont just trust them because they have a very expensive piece of paper!

THIS. SO MUCH THIS.
It's NEVER too late. No matter how old you are or how many children you have. It's never too late to leave a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships don't have to be abundantly clear like physical violence, name calling, etc. If you don't feel respected or loved.. If you don't feel like you can count on that person at the end of the day - leave. Of course, it's not "adult" to just run away, either. It's important to work with your partner, friend, etc to make things right first. Communication is key. But don't ever think you have to stay or settle if you're not getting what YOU need out of someone, especially after making it clear.

"I need you to be more considerate"
"I need you to help more around the house"
"I need you to communicate better"
"I need you to make me a priority"

You're not being needy & your feelings are never invalid. You feel a certain way for a reason. You might be dramatic about it (heck, I'm more dramatic than that episode with Kim Kardashian lost a diamond earring in the water), but you can work on that. You can work on the delivery of your message. The content and importance of the message remain.

Not everything has to be linear. Its not school -> career -> partner -> moving in together -> marriage -> kids, etc. It's what works for you.

[♥ PrettySarcastic ♥]

- Buying name-brand is only necessary for Blue Dawn dish detergent and meat products.

You must always buy name brand cooking oil if you intend to deep fry.

Making a cake with it? Eh it's probably alright to use the Great Value brand, I guess. But please don't deep fry in anything that isn't a major label.

Chocolate also needs to be a major label, name brand, good quality. The quality of the chocolate you use in your baking will massively change the overall taste of your end result, whether it's chocolate chip cookies or a chocolate cake. (Likewise never buy the random offbrand 99 cent Easter chocolates - buy the good stuff, at least go with the mid-tier Hersheys/Mars/Etc. or upgrade to Russell Stover or Godiva etc.)

[Flordibel]

You must always buy name brand cooking oil if you intend to deep fry.

I've never deep fried - this is great to know!!

[Gato]

Interesting discussion!

Here are some things I wish my old roommates and I were more familiar with before plunging head-first into adulthood haha:

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Now that I wrote all this, it feels like general life and common sense tips but hmm.. here it goes anyway, enjoy! And sorry for the repeats from other posts, took me waaay too long wrap this up lol!





Edit:

- If you live alone, invest in a polearm of some sort (broom handle, Swiffer) to kill or herd bugs from a distance. Otherwise, make your partner(s) do it.

This 1000%