motherfucker(12-14-2018)
I am really sorry you are going through this. I have dealt with anxiety for many years now. While I was trying to live my life, my anxiety managed to make me push away friends, relationships, and jobs more times than I can count. In fact, it just lost me another one. Just today.
My first anxiety attack was when I was with my ex. I had no idea what was happening to me was anxiety. I just thought I was weird. Slowly, over the next couple of years, it crept up and got worse and worse. I moved in with 3 of my best friends and hit an emotional rock bottom. I pushed all three of them away and let it ruin a chance at a relationship I wanted very badly. I finally decided enough was enough. While my anxiety has different ideas, I have been working for the last 4 years on recognizing my triggers and trying to stop them.
I deal with my anxiety the illegal way. Weed has helped me far, far more than any medicine I have tried. It has balanced me out and made me feel at least semi-normal. When I don't have it, I am still a bit of a mess. I am still trying to fix it the natural way. Who knows, soon I may have to go on medicine but for now I am just trying to live my life. Unfortunately I have gone off the deep end a bit as I just lost the most important person in the world. My father. Right now, I am not dealing. But normally, I can talk myself out of an attack alot of times. I know it's my anxiety so I tell myself that.
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motherfucker(12-14-2018)
Thank you all for your support and words. I’m just on my iPhone right now, reading, but I’ll respond when I can. You’re all lovely people.
Midas(12-16-2018)
Have you played AC:New Leaf?? It's one of the most relaxing games ever, and with a nice guide and a few contacts over the internet you can get into it pretty fast ^^! I started playing it during a hard time, anxiety/feel down (i won't say depression, i think it's not), and those little animals helped me reach some tranquility, i used to think while playing, get my feelings and troubles in order and then i could explain better what was happening in and into my head! I love pok�mon for it's goals that are pretty specific (finish story, collect animals), i loved AC because of it (make money, fullfill collections).
For what's happening, i can only say time will figure it out... Nothing last forever, good or bad, remember that bad don't last forever. What's happening to your parents and your relationship, things will change, advance, try to take them as they come, and please be brave, i know it's hard and kind of random that a gal over the sea and the internet says this, but everything will be ok. For your parents, probably they're looking for the best way of making things, they are living this for the first time too and don't know exactly how to react or say what they feel, and your partner, it's a trial. My SO and I are opposites and he has learned a lot how to deal with me, i know i get all the help i could get from him, even if it doesn't completely work sometimes. You gotta know that your struggles will be forever yours until you fight them, they can only help, so please don't be mad or jealous about how he manages to live his friends or yourself; believe in him and try to guide him into your feelings, sometimes (and for me) it is healing to acknowledge that you are more lonely or slow paced than others. If you don't press yourself to be that social, you will feel more relieved! I can assure that And getting your partner to know it, it's better too. Try to especify all your needs, might be it a word or a hug. He will need to learn how to live with you as much as you'll learn how to live with him, and it can be hard or easy at times, fight'oh!!!
As music related, i'd like to recomend OST, they don't have lyrics and can help you guide your feelings. Nintendo OSTs rule, any Zelda, Pok�mon Diamond-White-XY, Earthbound, Donkey Kong ice caves and underwater songs!!
Take care of yourself, please. That you're asking for help here it's a huge step! Sending lots of faith and strenght!
motherfucker(12-16-2018)
Deep breathing usually helps me the most. The only time I really get anxiety is in nervous situations that I get into daily .
motherfucker(12-16-2018)
I can relate, and my anxiety has been off its rocker recently so thanks for making this thread.. I could really use some tips on how to stop freaking out/kicking myself when im down too.
As for how I deal with stress.. isolating myself helps(although it might sound unhealthy, I feel like I can recharge better when Im alone), read books(doesnt matter what they're about. might seem boring but if a book is good you stop thinking about your own life), spray your room with cologne/perfume that smells nice, particularly your sheets/pillows, meditation music(can download free apps on your phone), make sure everything is clean and tidy, make lists(doesnt have to be a 'to do' list or w/e it can be anything, I find it gives me a sense of control and order over my life).
My parents got divorced 10 years ago(20 years together) and they STILL bitch about each other every day. The more I got involved the worse I felt, so I highly highly recommend distancing yourself for as long as it takes and focusing on your own shit.
motherfucker(12-16-2018)
I'm so glad you've booked a consultation! Try to go in there with an objective mindset, my mistake was that I was ready for the "are you okay" (which is hands down the one question no one should ask me rn) and "aww honey I'm so sorry" - I worked myself up expecting a trip down memory lane followed by a pity party, but when none of that happened my mind was too far gone to be able to benefit from the session in a more 'collected' state. I felt like my breakdown practically forced the therapist into that pity party, and turns out that's what I neither wanted nor needed.
Have you and your SO been in a domestic environment together before? Adjusting to a move in after long-distance can (and prolly will) be hella awkward, but communication is key. Like Draikmoth said, be real with your guy - loved ones are part of the therapy as well, and the more they know what they're dealing with, the better equipped they are to help. You'll be in a new place, new work environment, new home - all that is a lot to handle for anyone, and as stressful as it is for your SO, you gotta let him understand that the changes and pressures which rest on your shoulders atm are a heavy burden too. Not to go with the 'my pain is bigger than your pain' sort of thing, but sharing each others worries and concerns will create a stronger, lasting bond (:
I'm not one to give advice about jealousy but being transparent about it will ease some of that tension. If you don't feel like being overly social or hanging out with his buddies, you don't have to - but don't let the truth of him just going out fester into half-truths and suspicions in your mind. If I know of a fail-proof way to kill a relationship, it's definitely letting the green-eyed monster become a part of you. If something makes you uncomfortable, let your SO know and try to give him the opportunity to discuss it with you without one of you shutting down or getting defensive. There is nothing abnormal with feeling scared of disappointing or losing your partner, but he's the only one that can help you build a strong foundation of trust, respect, and honesty
Da Plushee Boree (12-18-2018),motherfucker(12-16-2018)
Michael Update:
I have a phone consultation with a psychologist here in the city.
No idea how it's going to go, but she's calling tonight. Not really sure what to say or how to say it, but I guess a first step is a first step.
It's difficult putting my actual feelings into words.
Da Plushee Boree (12-18-2018),Midas(12-18-2018),Misha (12-19-2018)
I really hope it goes well and you feel a little more relieved after the talk!
Maybe doing lists or doodles, as vulkren said, can help notice how you really feel and explore what affects you the most, that way you can understand better how to explain yourself to your therapist
If you want, later on, you can tell us how it was...
hugs!! ♥
motherfucker(12-18-2018)
This may not sound like the sound thing to do... but I picked up a puppy when my anxiety started to really take off my 2nd year of college. I found that thinking about something else or caring for something/someone else was the best solution to take my mind off of any triggers that caused my anxiety. My dog has anxiety too, but I feel like we're in it together
Something that helps at least when I try to get some rest, is using a weighted blanket. I find them comfortable, some are breathable, and it really does calm down any anxiety that I'm experiencing in the moment. It's kind of like a hug.
At work you go to the bathroom when it�s at that point it keeps bothering you.
Otherwise start a smoking habit to cope or even better a dipping habit
Edit: they can�t tell your slacking off when going to the bathroom because it�s a human function to relieve yourself. And I don�t condone tobacco use.