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Thread: Can someone help me understand this?

  1. #1
    Bui bui!
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    Can someone help me understand this?



    Ok so my nephew and I were discussing the movie Get Out and my sister said she watched that movie illegally and we jokingly we're like aw you should have helped them out and watched it. She in turn debates with me for like 30 minutes on how she doesn't want to support the director I think who was Jordan Peele because he's married to a white woman I guess and in turn anything he says to help the black cause is skeptical because he's aiding to whatever problems we're facing by turning and marrying this woman. Keep in mind I haven't watched this movie but whatever, I argued I didn't see how his marriage to a white woman makes his movie bad or null in the topics it discussed?

    So she takes me on a history lesson about all we went through and I tell her ok what does this have to do with the fact he's probably happily married I guess? She goes on to say she doesn't have a problem with the movie and its actors but this director and the fact he acts "pro black" or something and then marries a white woman. She says that she will go see Black Panther in 2018 (I think) because of the all black cast. I say oh didn't you know black panther's origin story he does all this and then marries a white woman at the end of alllll his adventures, so I let her go on making points or whatever about other stuff and I said ok but will you still see the movie? She says now she won't and she'll wait for reviews because of that fact. I told her I was lying and that proved my point that you in general have a problem with a black person marrying a white person because that 1 little fact made you not want to see Black Panther, a guy who fights villains and shit I'm assuming and saving some type of world LOL, at all. His alleged choice of marriage denounced all that he will do in this movie. Even when you said you didn't have a problem with the actors and stuff for Get Out but clearly you do.

    Idk I guess what I'm asking is can someone help me understand her point of view??? I just don't get it?? I made this in the debate zone because idk where to put it but feel free to move if necessary and btw please don't argue with me I'm a very dumb person you will get nothing out of it LOL.

  2. #2
    Owl's Avatar
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    Man I don't get stuff like this. I'm hispanic, most of my family is dark skinned, I happened to come out light skinned- I'm white passing. Because of this my opinion is completely invalid in the hispanic community because "You're white, not hispanic". Minorities need to stop nitpicking and saying another member of their community is invalid because of things they can't help- like who they love and choose to marry. Your sister is inadvertently acting as narrow minded as the very narrow mindedness she's trying to fight, and this just sets everything back.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    Man I don't get stuff like this. I'm hispanic, most of my family is dark skinned, I happened to come out light skinned- I'm white passing. Because of this my opinion is completely invalid in the hispanic community because "You're white, not hispanic". Minorities need to stop nitpicking and saying another member of their community is invalid because of things they can't help- like who they love and choose to marry. Your sister is inadvertently acting as narrow minded as the very narrow mindedness she's trying to fight, and this just sets everything back.

    See this was what I was going to say I think she was but she was getting super heated LOL I didn't want it to escalate into full out arguing more than us sharing differing points of views.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brittany View Post
    See this was what I was going to say I think she was but she was getting super heated LOL I didn't want it to escalate into full out arguing more than us sharing differing points of views.
    Yeah, it's hard to not turn something like this into a full out argument when someone feels that strongly about it. I understand wanting things to get better, but by swinging so hard in the opposite direction that you end up being what you dislike? I'm just not sure what the solution is honestly.

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    Katie Mama Bear's Avatar
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    While I can understand that she may view a black person choosing to marry someone of another race as some sort of 'betrayal', I do not believe that it is a fair perspective. Surely she would want to be able to marry for love, respective of race. She may not feel like she could love someone other than a black person, but it's hard to say that definitively. I'm sure if that choice were taken away from her (like it used to be, when interracial relationships were taboo/illegal), then she'd be bitching about that- and rightly so. Who someone loves doesn't subtract who they are, the culture they embody or how they represent their community.

    In the context of that particular movie, did she then think that
    for betraying his culture by dating the white girl? Bigotry comes in all shapes, sizes and colours, and your sister sounds like one to me.

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  8. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacchus View Post
    While I can understand that she may view a black person choosing to marry someone of another race as some sort of 'betrayal', I do not believe that it is a fair perspective. Surely she would want to be able to marry for love, respective of race. She may not feel like she could love someone other than a black person, but it's hard to say that definitively. I'm sure if that choice were taken away from her (like it used to be, when interracial relationships were taboo/illegal), then she'd be bitching about that- and rightly so. Who someone loves doesn't subtract who they are, the culture they embody or how they represent their community.

    In the context of that particular movie, did she then think that
    for betraying his culture by dating the white girl? Bigotry comes in all shapes, sizes and colours, and your sister sounds like one to me.
    Idk why she feels it as a betrayal though that's what I want to understand. Maybe the director married her because he loved her, like you said, regardless of race.

    Also not only did we not talk about the movie (because I haven't seen it) but she claimed what the actors did in the movie did not bother her. It was the director trying to be pro black but is married to a white woman, who she feels is the root of our problems, that bothered her. She felt like his movie is then deemed meaningless because he himself is hindering the message he's trying to convey with his marriage choice. Then she brung up Black Panther and how she's going to watch it because it's an all black cast. I asked how is an all black cast about a fictional superhero a step forward for us? I also asked will you be offended if he has to fight or even kill another black person and she said yes.

    I also tried asking her how she felt about the video game Mafia III. About how the whole time you're a black character fighting against white people, how you're literally treated in game, and the white people you fight against. I told her I think in her same example that's a step forward for us then because it's a whole virtual world about getting justice. I said the directors and all that good stuff weren't black and she said anyone can convey our message but since they're not black then, once again, their point is moot. I ignored that and said but what do you think about the game? Is it not a step forward? Is it not getting out our message that we need to stand up and stick it to the man when we're pushed around? I ended it with but if the character goes on to marry a white woman even after all that killing and saving he did, you'd just brush it off because he would no longer care about our cause right?

    Then she brung up lion king 2019 and how she likes that it's a mostly black cast. I said but that was Disney's choice LOL it really didn't have to be. She said but it's based in Africa so they have to be black. I told her that doesn't really mean anything since their location in the movie is not even super important since we focus on the plot of the movie. I said if Disney did Mulan again, yes, I would expect them to be Chinese because it's a movie about saving China so of course the location of that movie is extremely vital. The locations in Wonder Woman are super vital. The location of Lion King can be shot from any jungle and you wouldn't tell the difference.

    (I'm sorry for rambling I'm just so confused it's beyond me LOLL)

  9. #7



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    will you be offended if he has to fight or even kill another black person and she said yes.
    This is one of the things that concern me the most nowadays. People are starting to act like "I hate when people hurt my 'race' but I'm fine if they hurt others", at least that's the kind of vibe I'm getting from it.

    If someone is black and married a white person, what's the matter? I once saw a video of a black girl bashing a random black guy because he adopted white kids.
    Like seriously, what the hell?! Is love and caring 'race' oriented now?

    Tell your friend to grow a thicker skin because if she keeps living in the past she'll suffer.

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  11. #8
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    Tell your sister to smarten up and grow up. Not everything needs to be a point of "I'm offended b.s.

    That guy is married. Good chance a happy marriage too so leave it at that.


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  13. #9
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    What I don’t understand... it’s a movie...
    Watch it or don’t watch it. I don’t understand why bringing politics and race into it is necessary. I think her views are quite childish and make her seem very negative and close minded. That almost seems racist for her to say a black person should never marry anybody but another black person? I’m sure that would be the case if a white person said that.

    Why can’t everyone just love everyone?
    What's my definition of success?
    Creating something no one else can
    Being brave enough to dream big
    Grindin' when you're told to just quit
    Giving more when you got nothin' left

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  15. #10
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    To me it sounds like a cross between gate-keeping and racism.

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