Need Some Advice

[dancing8gorilla]

Hey guys! So, I kinda need some brainstorming help/advice.

I'm no longer living at home with my parents and techincally no longer financially dependent on them. But I'm working parttime and money is kind of tough sometimes, so I occassionally use my parents credit card to buy some restaurant delivered food. My parents don't know I do this. Our relationship isn't great, so this is kind of a minor getting back at my parents thing too.

So, yesterday, I find out that my dad disputed 4 of the charges made this year from one of the restaurants I order from. The restaurant owner called me and asked me why I disputed the charges. Thank goodness I'm one of his regular customers and I always tip well, so he wasn't pissed off when we talked. I kind of lied and told him that my credit card had been stolen, so I called the company to cancel the card. Then in all the confusion, they probably thought that the 4 charges to his restaurant were fradulent charges too. The restaurant owner said, "Okay, no problem. Just call the credit card company and get them to reverse the transactions again."

So, here's the problem. I kinda can't do that since it's not my card. And I can't go to my parents and get them to reverse the transactions either. I want the restaurant owner to get his money. It's about $200.00 in charges that he's lost. I'm willing to just pay him myself, but I don't know what to tell him. Obviously, I'm not going to tell him the whole story of what's going on. It's just fishy to go to him with cash and say, "Hey, I know you told me to tell the credit card company to reverse the transactions, but here's the money in cash instead."

Help? Brainstorm? How the fuck do I get myself in these messes?!?! Anyone wanna trade parents?

[dancing8gorilla]

Anyone?

[Cody.]

Um, that is kind of serious.

1. Don't use your parents credit card again. Shit will happen.
2. Tell your parents you used it.
3. Go from there.

I don't have a credit card for this very reason.

[Kristin]

I think you do need to tell your parents about the CC. But, then again, I don't know the specifics of your relationship. I'd only hope that they would be willing to forgive you (and maybe even help you out money-wise), but I know that doesn't always happen.
If you continue to use it without their knowledge and they find out by other means, you could be in some deep shit.

[Solgaleo]

1) This was a lame idea to begin with (no offense)
2) You HAVE to tell your parents. You dug yourself the hole. You need to climb back out

[dancing8gorilla]

Yeah, I know this was a bad thing to do. It started out as an immature, "Heehee, look, I'm gonna use my parent's credit card to buy stuff." Didn't snowball from there, but I guess I got comfortable when no consequences occurred. Trust me, I won't be doing this again.

I can talk to my mom. She and I are on good terms, and she knows about me being broke. But she's a battered wife, so she can't really do anything to help me out here. My dad controls their finances. And extrapolating from the last two statements, you guys can guess why I'm not speaking to my dad. That's where I'm stuck.

[KillaKayleen]

you shouldve bought a gift card or something and went grocery shopping instead of buying take out lol ( i stopped bc its so expensive with 6 people in my house) but idk what to say really if your dad hits ur mom, bc he might take it out on her or something. the only other thing i can think of is to not them them it was you, if you havent already, and dont answer the phone if the owner calls back... idk. iv never done this before. or maybe even just going to your mom/dad and giving them the 200 and explain what happened, you were hungry and had nothing. you know? sorry im not much help :(

[Sneakz]

The best thing to do is come clean. Lies lead to more lies lead to more lies...it's just a bigger hole your digging for yourself and its best to just go to the restaurant, tell the guy the issue, and pay him the money and don't do it again.

[John]

well would your mom be able to explain it to your dad?

you have to tell them.

[dancing8gorilla]

Well, I went to the restaurant and gave the owner the amount back in cash. He was happy. He was just worried about losing revenue, so he didn't really care how he got the lost money back.

I told my mom what was going on because she's my sounding board against my dad. She told me that he's definitely not going to get the transactions reversed, which was why I just went to the restaurant directly. Her attitude towards telling my dad was kind of like, "Let sleeping dogs lie." So, since he hasn't raised hell over this issue, we're just going to let it go.

He canceled the card I had anyways, so now there will be no more temptation to spend their money. Yeah, won't be doing this again.

Thanks guys for your input and advice. Made me realize that this was a childish habit that had been going on for way too long. I kind of didn't realize how serious this was until this all happened.

[J_L_K_64]

seriously dudette, you're lucky they didn't press charges on you, that's identity theft, and fraud, both of which in most states are felonies, which means butt pounding prison time.



look at it like this, if you have the money to get what you want, then do it, if you don't have the money, then go without, it'll teach ya to work harder, and try different ways to gain money(legally), that's how i live my life nowadays, but i'm also not hard up for money either, i earn a good amount for what i do, and how much i need to spend each month is fairly low

[bc.m]

I think this is something serious that you'd really need to talk w/ your parents... This is considered fraud right? or stealing?

edit:

Oops, glad you talked it w/ your mom and you really are lucky. I'd probably get hit a hundred times over it. :/

[dancing8gorilla]

seriously dudette, you're lucky they didn't press charges on you, that's identity theft, and fraud, both of which in most states are felonies, which means butt pounding prison time.



look at it like this, if you have the money to get what you want, then do it, if you don't have the money, then go without, it'll teach ya to work harder, and try different ways to gain money(legally), that's how i live my life nowadays, but i'm also not hard up for money either, i earn a good amount for what i do, and how much i need to spend each month is fairly low

Whoa, those first words took me by surprise. Dudette is not a common nickname that I hear around here. You know, I just kind of thought, "Hey, other kids use their parents credit cards to buy things. I'm just doing it for food." But I guess there's a difference between parents that actually like you and give a shit, and parents who don't. Anyways, I don't think my dad actually knew it was me making those charges. When I talked to my mom, she said he just thought it was some erroneous monthly recurring charge. I guess that saved my ass. I was only ordering food once a month right after paying the rent which usually flattened my ass.

---------- Post added at 12:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:04 AM ----------


Oops, glad you talked it w/ your mom and you really are lucky. I'd probably get hit a hundred times over it. :/

Yikes! That doesn't sound pleasant. Living on my own 700 miles away does have its perks.

[SmileYaDead]

First you say "money is though sometimes" and then you go out and order $200 worth of food? Seriously? I eat that much worth in a month, but I could even do better. You can't go on a spending spree if you don't have the money to spend. As Jaye said first, this is actually stealing. Consider yourself lucky you didn't get in trouble with your parents, not to mention the hairy arm of the law. Stealing from your dad you don't get along with? You better hope he wont find out your mom helped you out. Take some time and think about what you did.

[waffy]

J_L_K_64

paying the internet bill is one of his highest priorities :p

[dancing8gorilla]

First you say "money is though sometimes" and then you go out and order $200 worth of food? Seriously? I eat that much worth in a month, but I could even do better. You can't go on a spending spree if you don't have the money to spend. As Jaye said first, this is actually stealing. Consider yourself lucky you didn't get in trouble with your parents, not to mention the hairy arm of the law. Stealing from your dad you don't get along with? You better hope he wont find out your mom helped you out. Take some time and think about what you did.

No, not $200 all at once. It was spread out over 4 months. And I would order enough food each time to eat for a week. Orange chicken freezes really well apparently.

Anyways, like I said, you guys are helping to drum into my head that this actually is stealing. I was always able to justify to myself in my head that "it's my parents." But it was a bad habit I should have stopped a lot sooner.

[SmileYaDead]

Well, since you moved away from home, don't get along with your dad, don't speak much with your mom AND have a part time job..

[dancing8gorilla]

Well, since you moved away from home, don't get along with your dad, don't speak much with your mom AND have a part time job..

Mom and I get along. My mom and I squabble, but it's not a hostile relationship. It's just she only finds time to call me when dad's not around. Yes, he hates me that much, that he doesn't allow my mother or brother to talk to me. Spending dad's money just seemed like a good way to get him back, since the size of his bank account's the only thing that matters to him. Yeah, I know, stupid revenge plan.

[Sci_Girl]

Those kids that use the credits cards that are in their parent's names are given permission to, and typically if the child has taken the credit card without them knowing they get yelled at since it is stealing. If the card was not considered a gift, cannot make enough money in the first place to buy the food on your own, and never initially discussed using the credit card then it is spending money without their knowledge behind their back...stealing. It is the same thing as walking up to one of your parent's wallets and taking the money from there, stealing. I am glad you do not want to do it again though, at least you learned because others would not care at all.