Why do people love the whiners on Neopets?

[goldentryst]

So I feel very conflicted about the guild I'm in. I like it because it's very talkative and everyone is nice to each other and whatnot. Other than the occasional prick who has to brag about his l33t uber reselling skills, it's pretty cool. But then there is a character in the guild who I noticed is just completely nagging/whining non-stop... Literally, it's always about their relationship or the problems they have going on in real life.

It's cool to talk about real life on Neopets, but it's annoying/frustrating to see someone whine constantly even when they've been offered viable solutions to their problems. IT'S AS IF THEY DON'T WANT TO FIX THEIR PROBLEMS. AND THEY JUST KEEP GOING ON AND ON.

I also get that sometimes it just feels good to have people acknowledge your problems with a simple "dang that sucks!" or "I hope it gets better." That's totally cool and normal. But when you constantly keep bringing up problems over and over and are not open to fixing your problems... Like, goddammit, can you just stop making yourself seem such a huge helpless victim in life?

And what's even better is that people eat this shit up! They totally baby the person doing this and coddle them.

It's just frustrating to me when I hear people complain nonstop and won't let me help them fix their problem. If you have a problem, why don't you want to fix it?! Or if you don't want to fix the problem, then at least stop telling everyone about it PLS. Especially when none of us know you like that, we're all just strangers on Neopets!

/end rant

Thanks. I just needed to vent that here.

---------- Post added at 09:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:09 PM ----------

And yet despite bullshit like this which is prevalent in Neopets guilds, I can't enjoy Neopets without being in a guild. -____- *sigh*

[Charlie]

It's possible we're in the same guild because I was justtt thinking about this yesterday.. It bothers me too when people continuously complain about an issue, others offer wonderful input and guidance, the person chooses not to take action, and then they continue to complain. You can only take a person complain for so long. It can be very annoying!

[ohealno]

Yes! It can be highly annoying. I just try to think of it as, poor pathetic little them and dismiss them. They crave the attention whether it's good or bad and I don't have to partake in it. I, silently, wish them good luck in fixing their deep seeded issues and move on. If they need advice, sure thing, I'll be there to offer it. But everyone has issues they need to work on within themselves and I will not one to enable them.

[goldentryst]

@(you need an account to see links) @(you need an account to see links) Thanks for giving me that acknowledgement in this rant, guys. I've come to terms with this by telling myself, "Attention whores are not necessarily bad people. They just really, really need attention in some way." Yay for solutions!

[ohealno]

Of course. That's a pretty good assumption. I'm sure it'll help prevent you from getting super annoyed by people like that and giving you more time to just enjoy your guild.

[Lightz]

just ignore them~

[SpecialisAlio]

I definitely understand how that can be so annoying. I volunteer on a hotline, and even I sometimes grow exasperated when some people come on to just talk about their issues and refuse to get help. Admittedly, they are usually facing more severe situations. Something I've learned though is that some people don't actually want help: they just want ears to listen to them. It's not necessarily the most progressive way to move forward, but it is a way for them to validate their feelings and emotions. It's not a bad thing, per se, but it is strikingly odd given that you imagine most people want help.

[2ndgradel0v3]

that stinks. I hate whinners and those types on neo. but same, can't be on neo without being in a guild xD

[User5931]

I definitely understand how that can be so annoying. I volunteer on a hotline, and even I sometimes grow exasperated when some people come on to just talk about their issues and refuse to get help. Admittedly, they are usually facing more severe situations. Something I've learned though is that some people don't actually want help: they just want ears to listen to them. It's not necessarily the most progressive way to move forward, but it is a way for them to validate their feelings and emotions. It's not a bad thing, per se, but it is strikingly odd given that you imagine most people want help.

What do you do in those situations?

[SpecialisAlio]

What do you do in those situations?

Honestly--as much as it annoys me sometimes to not offer any solutions--I just listen. I figure that if they want help, they'll ask for it. I remember one visitor ending the call because they said that I wasn't listening enough and they didn't need a solution--they just wanted to get it off their chest. I think it's understandable that we underestimate how useful just listening can be. It not only gives someone reassurance that their issues are validly concerning them but it also gives them the space to express their emotions and thus work on identifying the root of the problem. Not to sound like one of those bumper stickers, but if someone needs help--they'll ask for it more often than not.