J (08-15-2014)es s ic a
Originally Posted by Drizzy
the only one I don't have is yours
and I have a confession actually...
there is a guy here, he knows who he is, I got kinda weird on him last year. I hope he found it in his heart to forgive me since. It wasn't anything horrible, but i'm definitely sure I annoyed him.
u 'mirin?
J (08-15-2014)es s ic a
To many things so just throw me into a pool of holy water even that I don't think would work.
overthink.exe 
same
I mostly just stop by and comment on random threads when I'm not-sober.
pinkiwie (08-04-2014)
i fake a lot of my feelings and empathy towards people because i hardly feel it half the time
like theres only a select few people i feel anything for but mostly im a legitimate narcissist and only really care about myself and my own feelings
my therapist said i probably have narcissistic personality disorder because of years of living in an emotionally abusive household coupled with years of emotionally abusive friendships and relationships and i find it hard to argue
i knew a legitimate paedophile and didnt call him out because i was worried about what itd do to me instead of how many people i could prevent from being targeted by the guy
i feel guilty about it every day but guilt doesnt save underage girls from having sexual stuff forced onto them or out of them lol
my only defence was he had a lot of equally as abusive friends who could really fuck with my life irl but i still feel like a coward for caring more about the repercussions than the things i could prevent
I was coerced online when I was 15 to take pics and record myself naked from a guy who was like 7 years older than me. He threatened to put pics/vids of me on Facebook to all the people I knew. Somehow managed to tell him to fuck off and it was all over. I was (and still am) easily made to do things, because of shitty self esteem due to living with an abusive parent and years of abuse in school. Blablabla you've all probably heard this before.
Now I'm just trying to work on myself so that I don't get trampled over like a door mat again.
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I confess that I hate public speaking, spiders, and snakes.
I also confess to having sold drugs, pills, broke into house and cars. (had a wild few years here...)
I confess that I am currently smokin a bowl of mid grade Mary Jane! She my main biotch!! lol
ive been a sort of similar situation tbh with the guy i mentioned. it was even more stressful because i was in a relationship at the time and i kept telling him "im not cheating on my partner like that" and hed just guilt trip me about how sad it made him that i wouldnt even consider looking at the stuff he sent me without me even asking, and how hed just love for me to send him stuff.
hed constantly send me vids of him jerking off and such and ask me for one in return of me jerking off to him jerking off when i broke up w that partner he got even more intense and kept guilt trpping me into sending him nudes and videos of me doing sexual stuff and just kept harrassing me for them then if i tried to block him hed guilt trip me further knowing id listen to him because like i also said id been in a lot of emotionally abusive situations throughout life and id told him that because i thought he was my friend but apparently he was just being nice to get that sort of info from me haha
the worst part is definitely the part where he knew im trans male so he was really just looking for titty pics. i wasnt a male to him at all, all he ever did was talk about my girl body and how i was probably really sexy, and hed be all "i know you dont think your female body is beautiful, but if you send me something, im sure i could show you just how beautiful i find it" and id just be like lmao fuck you pal
in the end i never gave him anything despite all his coercing (but i came so close sometimes), and i was 18 at the time so i probably dont have grounds on that one, but i spoke to my friend who was just barely 17 at the time he started sexually harrassing her. shed been in a much more abusive household than i had been, so her self esteem was practically non existent, and he used that to sext with her and get nudes and stuff out of her and she didnt tell me until wed cut off contact with the guy upon figuring out he was ALSO getting a 15 year old girl and a 16 year old girl to do the same through straight up emotional manipulation.
the guy was 25 goddamn years old and he was getting nudes from teenage girls who were probably scared as fuck that hed do bad things to them if she said no. he just had that air around him you know? he acted so nice all the time, but everything he said had this underlying bare threat underneath it, he didnt even need to say hed do bad things for you to know he would if driven to it.
ive been trying desperately to work on being less of a doormat too but its just so difficult most of the time because i legitimately feel guilty for standing up for myself or talking against someone. even if you say something like "i dont particularly like orange juice" ill feel guilty for weeks afterwards if i say "i quite like it actually" just because i disagreed with you. its awful but its so difficult to break out of a mindset youve been in for 20 years (the joke here being i came out the womb feeling a lil guilty for being a thing that existed. the true extent of my guilt knows no bounds)
i didnt mean to write an essay here but i guess thats what it came down to. i guess this all also kind of counts as a confession, i havent told anyone this except the 17 year old (now 18 and in a much happier living situation, thank god) i mentioned. im still scared ill get some kind of negative reaction to telling anyone i let myself be sexually harassed. i personally think i did pretty good in not giving him anything, but a lot of people would blame me and the others he actually got things from for not just blocking him off the bat lmao.
Last edited by Mindfang; 08-03-2014 at 10:50 AM.
Fleur (08-05-2014)
My favorite color is green.
i confess when i start something new i absolutly obsess over it till it loses it glamour on me. then i still cant put it down, ie cheat on neo its gone from basic cheating to build my acc up to buying actives and looting(dont look at like that m morals r just different than yours hack or be hacked right?) but im trying new adventures and still building up my main so hopfully one day it will be of epic proportions.
I ship Niam.
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