Ok, so I graduated in 2002. Got married that summer. (he's military now, but wasn't for the first 3 years of our marriage.)
Still happily married to the best person on the planet. We have 3 amazing children.
Of the other 4 or 6 couples that I knew were married around the same time, only 1 are still together.
Do I think young marriage is smart?
Yes, and no. Every situation is going to be different, and it's not my place to judge another's choices.
Growing up together through our twenties, and not having kids for the first 7 years has definitely made our marriage a bit unique by today's standards. Yes, we are thoroughly Christian, but no, we weren't forced into anything. (I was that kid that did the opposite of what I was told as long as it made sense to me, haha) I personally don't think that I would have been much into sleeping around and 'educating' myself in that manner, as the concept disgusts me. I don't feel like I missed out on anything either. Instead I got to share the experience and lessons with my best friend.
It's late, so that's all I can think of for now.
How is that even possible?! I mean, I *love* my boyfriend to death but we still have our arguments every now and again (usually my fault, but still).
I mean, I understand over time growing to understand each other and not having fights.. But how can you never fight!? You guys must have really relaxed personalities! I must say I am jealous.
Actually I'm pretty hot tempered! Back when we used to MMO, the Americans called me the Angry Aussie. We just syncronise really well and have very similar outlooks/humours; we bullshit constantly, which means there's never any tension between us. I was worried that the stresses of bringing a child into the mix might change it, but nope! Eevee is a year old next Saturday and we're only the stronger for having her.
Aside from our very similar natures playing a part, I'd guess that perhaps because we were long distance (America/Australia) for the first 4 years it allowed us to be able to feel free to be our true selves without as much risk. It's easier to tell your darkest personal truths to someone who, realistically, is only a block button away if shit really hit the fan. He knew my ugliest secrets before we'd even met in person, and accepted me for them. That definitely created an incredibly strong sense of trust and support that I know will never quaver. That probably sounds dumb, to be so sure, but Blake's unconditional love of me is unshakeable. So if I fuck up, or he does, or stressful things happen in our lives, at the root of it I have no doubt that it'll be fine, so there's no need to fight. I'm not sure. It's hard to articulate, I guess. I'm very grateful for it though!
maya (12-06-2020)
I've been 18 and hopelessly, sickeningly in love. I understand wanting to get married and spend your life with somebody. My ex was a cheating, lying cunt and we've since broken up after nearly 5 years of abuse. I'm fortunate in that my naivety, I didn't get stuck in a permanent situation with a fuckwit, because we came very close. Unfortunate that I have lifelong trauma to carry with me as a result. Not eveybody is abusive, and I think that if your relationship is healthy and you're as in love as I was, stay with the person. However, it's super important to not have your love goggles on, which is easy when you have pretty much 0 life experience like an 18 year old.
tl:dr too easy to be manipulated so young, just chill and dont get stuck in a permanent thing until ur older
Last edited by elissa; 05-26-2017 at 08:26 AM.
@(you need an account to see links) I'm terribly sorry that happened to you. I definitely understand how there is still a power imbalance when people are young, so I'll take your advice. I've been with my boyfriend for a long while and I'm about to graduate high school, and we have talked about marriage but I'd rather wait until we're ready
Depends on the people, My parents married at 21 and they 40+ years going strong. I think the important thing is you marry the right person and both are ready for it,
I'm from the USA, up north, where it's actually frowned upon to get married young. I got engaged to my high school sweet heart a month after high school graduation and we tied the knot after I graduated from university - lived together throughout that time. We're happily married several years later. I had a different childhood, took on a lot of responsibility young. I think that if it works for people, it works.
I would say that in my country, people consider marrying young as a risky course of action due to rising housing costs, food costs, electricity bills. If you feel that you are financially stable and will be able to feed everyone in the family, I would think that you are ready to get married. That's just from a financial standpoint.
However, from a relationship point of view, i would say that you require more time for interaction with your partner. Might even be a better idea to stay together for long periods of time to get to know each other's habits and lifestyle as it's not possible to find out such things from short hangouts/dates.