Originally Posted by
Whither
I actually love this board. My father died on the 27th of November. On top of the pain of losing him, my aunt STOLE everything my father left to us. I lost him, my aunt, my cousin, and some other family members who called me a gold digger because I am trying to fulfill my father's wishes. Two of my good friends just literally decided out of nowhere not to talk to me again. I lost my job because I couldn't stop crying in front of customers. I have been in a deep, deep depression since that day. I don't mean I have been sad, I have been fighting to find happiness in anything I can. I am sad to the point where any little happiness I feel presents as adrenaline and I shake and tear up. Then I start to cry.
I have been happy exactly 3 times since he died. The first was New Years Day, when I went to Six Flags with my best friend. I was on Batman, and soaring through the air made me feel so happy I cried. A little silly but it made me feel so free.
The second, was seeing Wicked on Broadway. I LOVE musicals and especially Broadway. I have wanted to see wicked for some time now. I waited the whole show for her to sing Defying Gravity, and when she did I was so full of adrenaline and happiness I cried the whole way through. What a feeling! That last note I physically felt. I was shaking when we got up for intermission and we got outside and I cried like a baby.
Thr third, 3 days ago when my niece Luna Grace was born, I am SO in love with her little face. I held onto her birth like a life raft since he died. I wish I could hold her.