Ask LGBT+ people anything!

[Synth Salazzle]

I don't know if I'm just lucky or what, but I've never felt being gay has ever been an issue for me.
I mean, I've never been bullied/harassed/attacked or discriminated against because of my sexuality. Most people I guess don't even know I'm gay when they first meet mr, and there's no reason for them to, but at the same time if they ask "Do you have a girlfriend?" I'll straight up say, "Nope, a boyfriend" and I've never had an awkard reaction to that in the 7 years I've been with my partner.

So, in light of this, I'd like to ask a question to the rest of you LGBT people - have you ever struggled, whether it be socially/emotionally or in any other way because of your sexuality and in what way?

I'm not saying this to be like "oh look at me I'm untouchable, aren't I awesome for having never been oppressed because of my sexuality" - I'm just saying it how it is.
I've never really fitted into the LGBT "community" but never really felt the need or want to.

I personally have, and am quite a bit jealous of you to be honest.

My parents kicked me out twice over it. (They let me back because they feel bad for me because I'm disabled but I'm forced back into the closet until I can move back out.)

I lost almost all of my friends when I came out, and a lot of my family to this day still won't speak to me.

I've endured some things I don't really feel comfortable talking about at all, let alone in public.

Discrimination is real, but it's really dependent on your family, your friends, and those around you. I've chosen to begin isolating myself for the most part, and aside from family I haven't had issues since then.

Despite that, I still don't feel like I fit into the LGBT community but I'm forced to associate with them on the basis of I'm neither cis nor straight.

[Hawk]

I don't know if I'm just lucky or what, but I've never felt being gay has ever been an issue for me.
I mean, I've never been bullied/harassed/attacked or discriminated against because of my sexuality. Most people I guess don't even know I'm gay when they first meet mr, and there's no reason for them to, but at the same time if they ask "Do you have a girlfriend?" I'll straight up say, "Nope, a boyfriend" and I've never had an awkard reaction to that in the 7 years I've been with my partner.

So, in light of this, I'd like to ask a question to the rest of you LGBT people - have you ever struggled, whether it be socially/emotionally or in any other way because of your sexuality and in what way?

I'm not saying this to be like "oh look at me I'm untouchable, aren't I awesome for having never been oppressed because of my sexuality" - I'm just saying it how it is.
I've never really fitted into the LGBT "community" but never really felt the need or want to.

Honestly never had issue, my mom doesn't mind and my favorite haunts are aware and are chill with it. And I love playing Magic the Gathering, the store is cool with it all the people I play with there are cool. Being Trans never been an issue; being gay also not an issue. So I feel the same way, I think it takes a bit of cherry picking to really find the /worst/ examples.

Most things are like that I feel, people want to find the worst but there's a lot of good.

[rachel]

As a straight female, I really appreciate this thread. Some of my best friends from high school have transitioned, including one of my ex's, and I always hesitate that the things I ask/say are going to be offensive. I want them to know that I support them whole-heartedly, but I worry that bringing up the specific questions I have sometimes will make them uncomfortable.

So first: I have an ex; male at the time we dated, and has since transitioned. She has a name of choice, but I don't know how to pronounce it (since I haven't seen her in years, it's just online). Will it be offensive and/or what is the best way for me to ask what she prefers to be called now? I've always worried that "what do you want me to call you" belittles our history together or sounds passive aggressive, but I genuinely don't know the answer.

Second: One of my best friends from high school, born female and I knew as female throughout high school, has since transitioned. We have a lot of old pictures and memories together; how uncomfortable is it for trans individuals to revisit their "previous identities," for lack of a better term? Should I completely avoid certain stories, photos, etc., or is it still comfortable enough for trans individuals to re-live those pre-transition events? Is that something that I should ask him personally?

Last (for now that I can think of): Back to my ex. She recently visited my city and requested to get together for coffee or lunch or something. I told her, honestly, that I would have to ask my boyfriend because even though circumstances are different all these years later, we still have a history that might make my current boyfriend uncomfortable (not because she's transitioned, just because she's an ex nonetheless). We ended up not being able to make it work, and I worry that I offended her or that she thinks I was trying to find an excuse not to meet up with her. I want to reassure her that this wasn't the case but don't really know how to bring it up without making things awkward??

I feel like I'm overthinking it a lot and should probably just approach the conversations openly, the same way I would have with them prior to transition, but I know they deal with a lot of ignorance and don't want to be just another questioning voice - even if my questions are sincere.

[Synth Salazzle]

As a straight female, I really appreciate this thread. Some of my best friends from high school have transitioned, including one of my ex's, and I always hesitate that the things I ask/say are going to be offensive. I want them to know that I support them whole-heartedly, but I worry that bringing up the specific questions I have sometimes will make them uncomfortable.

So first: I have an ex; male at the time we dated, and has since transitioned. She has a name of choice, but I don't know how to pronounce it (since I haven't seen her in years, it's just online). Will it be offensive and/or what is the best way for me to ask what she prefers to be called now? I've always worried that "what do you want me to call you" belittles our history together or sounds passive aggressive, but I genuinely don't know the answer.

Second: One of my best friends from high school, born female and I knew as female throughout high school, has since transitioned. We have a lot of old pictures and memories together; how uncomfortable is it for trans individuals to revisit their "previous identities," for lack of a better term? Should I completely avoid certain stories, photos, etc., or is it still comfortable enough for trans individuals to re-live those pre-transition events? Is that something that I should ask him personally?

Last (for now that I can think of): Back to my ex. She recently visited my city and requested to get together for coffee or lunch or something. I told her, honestly, that I would have to ask my boyfriend because even though circumstances are different all these years later, we still have a history that might make my current boyfriend uncomfortable (not because she's transitioned, just because she's an ex nonetheless). We ended up not being able to make it work, and I worry that I offended her or that she thinks I was trying to find an excuse not to meet up with her. I want to reassure her that this wasn't the case but don't really know how to bring it up without making things awkward??

I feel like I'm overthinking it a lot and should probably just approach the conversations openly, the same way I would have with them prior to transition, but I know they deal with a lot of ignorance and don't want to be just another questioning voice - even if my questions are sincere.

1. It's not offensive to ask. People generally prefer you ask rather than assume.

2. You should ask personally. There's a lot of people who do mind, and others who don't, and embrace the person they used to be as someone else entirely. You'd be best off asking.

3. I'm n ot sure on that situation :/

[Howl]

I personally have, and am quite a bit jealous of you to be honest.

My parents kicked me out twice over it. (They let me back because they feel bad for me because I'm disabled but I'm forced back into the closet until I can move back out.)

I lost almost all of my friends when I came out, and a lot of my family to this day still won't speak to me.

I've endured some things I don't really feel comfortable talking about at all, let alone in public.

Discrimination is real, but it's really dependent on your family, your friends, and those around you. I've chosen to begin isolating myself for the most part, and aside from family I haven't had issues since then.

Despite that, I still don't feel like I fit into the LGBT community but I'm forced to associate with them on the basis of I'm neither cis nor straight.

I'm so sorry to hear that, that sounds awful

Actually, come to think of it I do have one ongoing issue. I have a 13 year old brother who suffers with ASD. He's very impressionable, and for some reason looks up to his deadbeat father as if he's a God. Now his Dad is an ex neo-nazi, and used to be a member of the British National Party. He's homophobic, racist, sexist etc etc.
Because of his Dad's influence, my younger Brother now hates gays "Because his Dad hates them". I recently had enough of hiding and tried to come out to my brother, he ran out of the house and wouldn't come back in till I either admitted to joking, or got out myself, so I said I was joking. His Dad did find out I was gay after this, he didn't know previously, but he funnily enough seems OK with it, I guess he's grown up a bit. But still, there is an issue with my Brother. Thankfully, my Mum and his Dad split up a while ago so if he did have an issue, my Mum would side with me and whatever. I'm hoping my Brother can just learn over time.

[Bani]

I don't know if I'm just lucky or what, but I've never felt being gay has ever been an issue for me.
I mean, I've never been bullied/harassed/attacked or discriminated against because of my sexuality. Most people I guess don't even know I'm gay when they first meet mr, and there's no reason for them to, but at the same time if they ask "Do you have a girlfriend?" I'll straight up say, "Nope, a boyfriend" and I've never had an awkard reaction to that in the 7 years I've been with my partner.

So, in light of this, I'd like to ask a question to the rest of you LGBT people - have you ever struggled, whether it be socially/emotionally or in any other way because of your sexuality and in what way?

I'm not saying this to be like "oh look at me I'm untouchable, aren't I awesome for having never been oppressed because of my sexuality" - I'm just saying it how it is.
I've never really fitted into the LGBT "community" but never really felt the need or want to.

i've never faced outright discrimination in real life. the most i've had is my mother whispering about how she's still slightly homophobic (she used to be VERY homophobic before i came out) to my uncle and someone talking badly about pans right in front of me, without them knowing i was pan.
that's the most i've had from straight people in real life. then again, i don't go prancing around declaring "i'm a genderfluid pansexual" to everyone because i know i still live in a very conservative state. my peers in high school were very accepting, though. confused, but accepting.
online it seems more... discriminatory. especially from the lgbt+ community itself against pansexuals and genderfluid folks. i'm not trying to speak for anyone here, but i've heard a lot of hate against others in the pan/genderfluid category and against myself. tumblr is a huge source of it. i was also personally attacked on another social media site that's not really popular just for expressing a differing opinion from another lgbt+ member and he and his friends began saying "kill all pans" and calling me ugly, etc, without even knowing what i looked like and basing who i was on my opinion and my sexuality.
it seems like it's not just hate from "the straights" that lgbt+ need to worry about, but from each other as well.

[Howl]

i've never faced outright discrimination in real life. the most i've had is my mother whispering about how she's still slightly homophobic (she used to be VERY homophobic before i came out) to my uncle and someone talking badly about pans right in front of me, without them knowing i was pan.
that's the most i've had from straight people in real life. then again, i don't go prancing around declaring "i'm a genderfluid pansexual" to everyone because i know i still live in a very conservative state. my peers in high school were very accepting, though. confused, but accepting.
online it seems more... discriminatory. especially from the lgbt+ community itself against pansexuals and genderfluid folks. i'm not trying to speak for anyone here, but i've heard a lot of hate against others in the pan/genderfluid category and against myself. tumblr is a huge source of it. i was also personally attacked on another social media site that's not really popular just for expressing a differing opinion from another lgbt+ member and he and his friends began saying "kill all pans" and calling me ugly, etc, without even knowing what i looked like and basing who i was on my opinion and my sexuality.
it seems like it's not just hate from "the straights" that lgbt+ need to worry about, but from each other as well.

With the whole genderfluid thing, sometimes I do honestly think people do say they're genderfluid when they're not - to be part of a "group". At least that's what it seems like. But then, that's like all other discrimination against LGBT people, we get put into boxes. So if one gay guy is super effeminate, bitchy, slutty or whatever other stereotype you can think of, then every gay guy must be that way. I think people will become more accepting of non-binary folk over time, when the hype has died down and it's normalised.

I think a lot of the hate against non-binary folk stems from the so called non-binary folk on Tumblr outright hating cis people. There are hundreds of videos from Tumblr/Vine/YouTube of certain people claiming they want acceptance for being non-binary, and want people to respect their pronouns, but in the same breath saying how they hate Cis people. Well, why should they get acceptance and not give it?

My personal stance on it is that, if someone claims to be genderfluid and calls themselves trans, then they should only label themselves as trans if they have experienced dysphoria. There are also a lot of videos of genderfluid people openly stating that they don't experience dysphoria but are still genderfluid and trans....uhhh, surely that's not possible. I think that Milo Stewart person, and also Riley Dennis, have opened up a WORLD of problems for people who are genuinely non-binary, because they are both SO idiotic, contradictory and just plain dumb. Milo Stewart herself said that she never experienced dysphoria but still claims to be trans.

[haiqtpi]

I've always been shocked by how drastically different acceptance of the lgbt community is across the US. I grew up in New England during the mid 90's-early 2000's, and being gay, while not "hated," seemed to be the punchline of jokes (personally, I never had a problem with this, and even today, enjoy a good gay joke, but I know that others view the matter as being a lot more offensive/indicative of larger issue). After I moved to NY for college, I saw a world that was a lot more openly accepting of lgbt people at face value, though even in itself, this has shown great contrast--on Long Island and in NYC, it has been a non-issue (though, it should be footnoted that this also has coincided with the rise of general cultural acceptance as lgbt people have become more mainstream as things other than novelties), but when I go upstate (Syracuse) to visit my husband's family and friends, we have run into very intermittent homophobia.

Honestly, as a New Englander, I have always had respect for people to have their own thoughts and opinions on things, so long as they do not adversely affect someone else's ability to do their own thing with their own life (ie be against gays all you want, but don't try to make it the law for others). I can still recall last winter when we went bowling with some of Nick's friends--all was fine and well when a group of dudes wearing like camo vests (while bowling....yea) walked by us and said, "smells kinda fruity out here...you like me, bro?" among other things. TBH, could not care less, but I also go through life without the slightest care for other people's personal opinions or thoughts--I tend to find most people in the world to be total and utter morons, so I kinda go through life in my own tunnel visioned world. Even as a member of the lgbt community itself, I tend to roll my eyes when people get all sensitive about shit, but this goes along other lines as well, such as race, religion etc--so it is pretty uniform of a mindset that works for me, though I acknowledge that it may not work for others.

I think that when you get to a point that you view nearly everyone else that you come in contact with on a daily basis or in the media as nitwits, life becomes a lot easier in that it is a lot harder for other people to rile you up, since there thoughts and words are near worthless.

[Howl]

@(you need an account to see links) - I think you're my spirit animal.
More people need the mindset you have.
I really am sick of this recent culture we seem to have adapted, where everyone needs to be offended by SOMETHING.
I work on the belief that, unless it physically or emotionally (i.e harassment, stalking, substantiated threats) me or someone I care for, I really do not care. Believe in what you want, just don't let that belief affect my life, and I won't let mine affect your's. If you don't like me because I'm gay, then that's absolutely fine, but I really do not want to hear about it. If you feel you must tell me, then have at it, it doesn't bother me.

I am so sick of everyone in our millenial generation twisting every little damn thing so that they can be offended by it. This goes further than just LGBT issues, this is in regards to race, body image, sex and whatever the fuck else you can dream up.

Like, I am gay, but will still jokingly insult my straight sister saying things like "Don't be so fucking gay", and she'll do the same to me. WHO FUCKING CARES.