How do you feel about people getting married young?

[pokwang]

people that get married young that's their choice. they learn from it.
it's either they learn the hard way or they actually end up happy.my best friend married some dude when she got out of high school and recently went through a bad divorce. the experience made her realize things. but there are also older couples I am friends with that's been together since Highschool.
ive been only with two other relationship before ending up with my spouse today. I guess we got together early too (21) but didn't officially marry until recently (26). i dont think i missed out on anything. i lived in a country where legal drinking age was 18 and got the partying out the system and i don't miss it at all.
i guess the opinion of getting married early kinda seems irrelevant for me because either way its either it works out or you learn from it

[LaVieBoheme]

I echo a lot of others here; I think it depends on your situation. Every couple is different! I'd never do it in a million years - I'm in my early 20s and I'm still completely ambivalent about getting married ever, lol - but I've got some friends from high school who got married right after. It was weird as hell seeing their engagement and marriage ceremony, but they'd been together a few years, and they've been going strong through ~4 years of marriage so far. It could just as easily end in disaster, sure, but that's life - live and learn! Some people learn, anyway.

[master4you2]

My best friend married young, and he's had a presumably very happy marriage for the past 10 years, so I think it's up to everyone. I myself am 20, graduating college soon and have no interest in getting married anytime soon, so I guess it's kinda like your mileage varies.

[domedyne]

I live in a relatively conservative area, so in the rare case where people marry early, they're usually together for a while. That said, I've definitely heard stories from friends about how some marriages just fall apart after a few years. Totally depends on the couple, I guess.

[Yeri]

I think you never know what will happen, life takes you on different journeys, no two couples are the same. My parents married at 21, had me at 31, and divorced when I was 18, after having been together since they were 15 years-old. Safe to say my Mum is still not over it; my Dad has remarried. I'm sure going into their late 40's-early 50's, having been together for nearly 30 years, they thought that they were the End Game. Life happens and things change.

[pokwang]

I think you never know what will happen, life takes you on different journeys, no two couples are the same. My parents married at 21, had me at 31, and divorced when I was 18, after having been together since they were 15 years-old. Safe to say my Mum is still not over it; my Dad has remarried. I'm sure going into their late 40's-early 50's, having been together for nearly 30 years, they thought that they were the End Game. Life happens and things change.

you've brought up a good point.
yah these kinda things are hard to predict.
marrying young or at the right age seems irrelevant when it comes to this because it really depends on the people.
there are a lot of people that marry "at the right age" older or whatever and still end up with a divorce.
compatibility can change at any time. things don't always work out.

check out the statistics for divorce
(you need an account to see links)

and heres a simple breakdown of things:
41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

I highly recommend checking out that page to see the statistics for the age group

[jrdizzle]

I'm not really concerned with couples getting married so young, but instead so quickly. They could be 18, but have been together since they were 12 and I'd be okay with that. Then they've seen each other on a more intimate level because of the raging hormones and emotional memories during those times. They're a couple that's like any other and they know their partner well.

The ones I have a problem with are those that get married way too soon into the relationship. It is a big step and for me personally I would think at least a few years of getting to know each other in different situations is a must. I guess people just get love struck and are into marriage right away, whether it be from pressure or they really think they're in love. I'm sure these are the couples with more problems down the road no matter how old or mature you think you are.

[mikeultra]

I definitely agree that each situation is different, and that it's more how quickly vs age.

My husband and I were on and off from the age of 16-20, went to get married at 21 then called it all off on a whim. Instead he studied, and I found a decent job. We bought a house and then only when I fell pregnant at 25 did we consider actually getting married. We've been married for 3 years now and I'm so happy we waited. I definitely think if we had gotten married at 21 that we wouldn't be in the situation we're in now.

[bobbybrown1]

I think the biggest factor for me here is what marriage will actually mean for the couple; does it mean they will just live in the same house and share income and otherwise. Or does it imply starting a family and the like.

As I grew older, the years that really changed me were those exact years (18-21). I began to see life in a whole different perspective; I had a change in goals and aspirations as well as developing a new understanding of what it meant to be an adult. My biggest worry is that people who marry young will not get that experience until it occurs when they are in marriage. They will possibly develop feelings of entrapment associated with having not established a career, or having not gotten to experience what it was like to be "young and free". While that may have not been a priority for them when younger, over time this could arise, and unfrotunately it is not something that can simply be reversed. Obviously it varies from person to person, but I believe we should all go through that road so that at the very least, we can make a more informed decision.

Another key variable is the age itself; getting married at that age on the most part would likely imply a shorter term relationship. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that the traits we look at and tolerate because "everything else compensates for this" tend to become much more significant. The traits you dislike will become more of an issue, and the traits that compensate will gradually decline in value. A longer term relationship will increase the likelihood of having gone through these discoveries- allowing them to make a more informed decision about whether they truly want to be with that person or not.

I'm sure there are lots of happy couples out there who were married young and have been in long lasting relationships. Heck, they hit the relationship jackpot there. However, these are quite rare, considering statistics on divorce rates generally and also specifically to those who got married younger.

[Maneki Neko]

Personally I like to think of everything from a scientific point of view. Personally I feel like people probably shouldn't make huge life choices before their prefrontal cortex (responsible for considering consequences of actions) is formed, which is not until your early 20's I believe. After this point I believe, from experience, we do a lot of soul searching and self discovery. I think when I was 21 I still was not very mature. It's weird thinking that people used to get married and have children so early as the norm. Did they even get a chance to discover themselves? I think in order to truly love someone, you must love yourself first. And NEVER EVER marry someone if you do not fully and 100% respect them. I think it's best to live with someone for a few years before getting married, you really need to see if you're compatible. One thing I think young couples may not be considering is how marriage affects your finances. Family income can determine loans, debt payments, its kinda dangerous to not consider the legal and financial aspects of marriage. Anyway, that is my 2 cents~