Oh man where do I begin
Well I don't know if you Americans have ever heard the phrase "turd burglar" I think its British thing
So yeah. After I had my daughter I was severely sleep deprived and had the most insane dreams but this one will always be my fav
I dreamt that I was asleep and in the middle of the night I heard someone breaking into the house.
I was so scared that it made me want to poo but I didn't want to go to the toilet and it might alert the burglar.
So i found a carrier bag and opened it up, squatted over it and did a poo.
I then sneaked downstairs and tapped this burglar on the shoulder and handed him my bag full of shit.
Oh man the confused look on this poor guys face hahahahhaha
And then I woke up
So there you have it. My turd burglar dream!