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Thread: Should guys pay when on dates?

  1. #111



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    I always grab my wallet out of my pocket regardless of who paid previously, I hate the feeling of not offering to pay. I feel so cringe when people don't expect to pay and get free meals... I don't know how people do it, I would be so embarrassed!

    I paid on my date 2 weeks a go and the guy gently kicked my ass because of it, was cutest reaction.

  2. #112


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    Honestly, I think that if this even becomes a thought between two people, that it is a big red flag. If someone wants to offer to pay, awesome, just do it--not exactly something to think twice about. I usually pick up the tab whenever I go anywhere with anyone (except hubby xD), but that is just how I am, and it is nice to be able to treat my friends and family. On a date, if "who is gonna pay" crosses the mind at all, just end it lol I've always hated how this question is a "thing." While I understand the roots of the notion (a nod to women being helpless, lawl), my issue isn't even the "sexism," just how illogical it is, and an unnecessary social construct.

  3. #113
    Vanessa's Avatar
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    I think everyone has to pay their own part, but if the guy wants to pay for both, I think that's okay aswell. (Or vice versa)

  4. #114

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    I typically try to pay on the first date just because I was raised old fashioned I guess? I never expect anything from it, and typically try to split everything else beyond that.

  5. #115

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    I mean it really depends on the culture of the country you are in. In Asia, it is expected for the men to carry the weight of financial burdens so men should pay on dates in my culture.

  6. #116
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    i think beyonce should pay when she takes my ass to red lobster tbh


    REAL TALK THOUGH, i prefer (and kind of expect) guys to offer to pay. i read it as a gesture that signals you're aware of societal rules/codes/constructs - even though they're arbitrary, even though one might not agree with them; i certainly don't with this one.

    but i don't think guys should actually pay. i'd fight to pay for myself, because a) i don't like the feeling of owing someone, being in debt, feeling guilty about it lol. and b) i'm afraid that they'll also feel like i owe them. especially if later down the road, things go sour & they up end being the type of person to use things like "but i paid so much for you!!!" as psychological ammo.

    if it's the same gender, i think the person who asks for the date should offer to pay, but then the other person should fight for it, and then you guys should end up just paying for yourselves haha.

    just my personal preference though! it's not a huge deal either way.


    except for the beyonce part. she def gon pay for my ass at red lobster.

  7. #117

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    I don't think societal norms or gender should really affect it at all, honestly?
    If you want to treat your significant other, then do it. If not, then split the bill as reasonably as possible between the two of you.
    Sometimes there's disparities due to personal income and circumstance, but I never saw any reason as to why the dude would pay.
    If you want to cover everything, go for it. Just don't really expect people to follow your example or whatever traditions are established.

    Personally, my girlfriend and I typically split the bill. Sometimes she'll pay the whole thing because she's had more opportunities to earn extra cash than I, but then I use that as an excuse to buy her something nice in exchange. It's never black and white, it's more of a constant exchange with no expectations in place.

  8. #118


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    the only times ive really had problems with "WHOS PAYING!!!!" being thrown at me like. during the date. it was with (rubs temples) older people where the age gap was like 7 years. for some reason it was such a big deal to them? my current partner is a year older than me and we both Assumed that you just pay half each. is it a millennial thing? comradery in this hellish economy? whatever it is i love it. or maybe it was just a sign i need to stop getting with people >5 years older than me.

    but also if some guy wants to be my sugar daddy and slide some of that sweet "ill pay the tab, it is the Man's Job" my way then go ahead bitch i aint gonna argue. thanks for the meal feel free to do it again next time. pay my damn rent while youre at it since that's probably a Man's Job too.

  9. #119

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    Quote Originally Posted by 5945 View Post
    I always grab my wallet out of my pocket regardless of who paid previously, I hate the feeling of not offering to pay. I feel so cringe when people don't expect to pay and get free meals... I don't know how people do it, I would be so embarrassed!

    I paid on my date 2 weeks a go and the guy gently kicked my ass because of it, was cutest reaction.
    This is also me and how I am on dates.
    I like to follow the rule that if I invited YOU, I should pay, and vice versa.

  10. #120
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    I agree with an earlier post about whomever asked the other person on the date, should be able to pay for the both of them.

    Or to also let the person know that "hey lets go get food, but we pay for our own meals."

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