*whines* *grumbles* *whines, again*

[DJ Music Man]

IDK.

I've never posted an actual thread, much less a whining thread, and I'm no good with sharing feelings around, but yet, I feel like I've got to whine somewhere, somewhere where I can whine and not make the person, or persons, I'm whining about feel bad about what basically is my version of letting out, which adds up both what I've been keeping to myself, and what I get offloaded onto by others, specifically these persons, because, I mean, I do offer my shoulder to them, but yet, I have sort of a low tolerance to bearing others' problems, it piles up on the things that stress me out, right on top of my own reasons why I'm stressed out.

It doesn't help that I have them added everywhere, and where I don't have them, it'd be awkward and inappropriate and weird to whine about them.

IDK, it's a stupid thing anyways, related to RP I'm involved in, and I guess is, quite frankly, the last straw, but yet, it's such a heavy straw, I mean, I've got myself trying to handle this person, complaining and complaining for literally months, and I sort of worry for them, because they've shown several signs that they are quite unhappy in much more deep ways, and they've got past issues, and present issues, that they don't seem to be handling very well on their own, and yet, I mean, can I even do anything for them? They're older, I barely know them in the internet, beyond a screen name, and we supposedly only talk about restricted stuff, because they are uncomfortable with being personal in the internet.

IDK, I feel like I have to eventually tell them that they should probably seek some sort of professional help, but yet, what position do I have on that, when I run away from mine?

I just worry that I can't do much to help them, and I can't get them to do anything IRL, and I just feel like telling them to fuck off, because, I mean, their complaints for me sound like whining for nothing, but then, again, who am I to say that, when I whine about shit every so often, sometimes it's bullshit so stupid that the others don't even get it, but yet, I mean, am I supposed to be truthful with them? Am I supposed to just tell them "It's okay, I get you?" Am I supposed to agree with them? I have arguments for all those positions, but yet, none of them feel completely right for me, I don't want to sound like either a jackass, a jackass, or.... A fakeass jackass.

And then pile that up with shit that happens IRL for me, because of my situation, because of the people around, because bullshit, and then you have shit that is stressful for me online, shit that is basically bullshit that I've gotten myself into, that I always end up getting myself into, and then I feel bad for doing that, and then there's the place where I RP, and the people I RP with, and those who have already gone, and I know it's my fucking fault, and I am beginning to believe, actually, I've been believing for a while, that the asshole is me.

IDK. I hate this. I hate all of this. Why am I always the one who people come to cry on the shoulders? I try my best at helping them, and help them, and yet, I already have issues relating to others, and am always at loss of what to do, and it doesn't help that I never know what's really right in a situation.

IDK, I guess I'm just tired.

[Sci_Girl]

You are not responsible for someone else's happiness, you are responsible for your own. I am not sure how you can change your situation with the individual you mention early in your post but what you can do is keep telling them you are there for them. Online makes it easier as you do not actually need to be there but just having an outlet can mean the world to some people. You do not need to agree with them, you do not need to say you would do the same, you do not need to say yes do this or that. You can be the shoulder they may need though. Even asking "how can I help" can clear up the jackass part that you want to avoid.

Some people also need to hear a mature rational side to whatever their "whining" situation is before they can begin to heal. I have had it happen to me. I thought a situation was hopless until I was talking to someone and they basically said listen lets approach this from a figurative 'slap to the head' smarten up side of things. It worked for me. You can tell them you will provide a rational approach to see that maybe their issues are, as you say, not as bad as they seem.

[DJ Music Man]

You are not responsible for someone else's happiness, you are responsible for your own. I am not sure how you can change your situation with the individual you mention early in your post but what you can do is keep telling them you are there for them. Online makes it easier as you do not actually need to be there but just having an outlet can mean the world to some people. You do not need to agree with them, you do not need to say you would do the same, you do not need to say yes do this or that. You can be the shoulder they may need though. Even asking "how can I help" can clear up the jackass part that you want to avoid.

Some people also need to hear a mature rational side to whatever their "whining" situation is before they can begin to heal. I have had it happen to me. I thought a situation was hopless until I was talking to someone and they basically said listen lets approach this from a figurative 'slap to the head' smarten up side of things. It worked for me. You can tell them you will provide a rational approach to see that maybe their issues are, as you say, not as bad as they seem.

*nods* Thank you.... I guess I'll try to keep myself as a shoulder, it's just that I still feel sort of guilty, because, I mean, we're supposed to be friends, right? Internet friends, yeah, but it's still friends. And friends care for each other, and tell the truth and shit.... And I just feel fake for not doing any...

[DJ Music Man]

Something I've learned recently is that even though times are changing with online communication. It's more troublesome to get emotionally invested with people online. I can recommend that your primary focus should be yourself, as what these people should learn is how to discover things for themselves and we can't have all the answers to every problem. Though we might as well try to be the "better person" but to no avail. Been there quite a few times myself.

In terms of crying for help, there are ways to figure out a constructive and realistic approach without sounding jerk-ish. Even saying "Hey, I don't think I'm able to help with this, but I'm hear to listen, you know?" might be effective.
Definitely take a step back, and maybe let them know you have difficulties understanding. "Friends" in general should have an unconditional relationship and if they aren't keen on your feelings, that's honestly scummy for making you a punchbag.

I mean, I guess it's sort of my fault, I am the one who won't tell them that I can't really handle it, and I am the one who keeps on telling them it's fine to whine about it.

I guess I'll just tell them straight stuff.