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Thread: This gender/sexuality thing is getting ridiculous

  1. #21

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    I know I'm going to get railed for this post but if you want to challenge it, I ask two things.
    1) Keep it civil. Just because my opinion doesn't follow the socially accepted norm doesn't mean you have the right to belittle it.
    2) Let me take you seriously. This means that I want you to write and act like an adult in your response. If your argument is guided by blinded rage towards my opinion, then I will simply ignore it

    With those out of the way, I'm more traditional in the sense that I believe that people born as males should "feel" like a male and females should "feel" like a female. This doesn't mean males playing with stereotypical male toys or for them to fulfill jobs such as construction or medicine. I think that just because a male likes to play dress up or play with "girl' toys, doesn't mean he should classify himself as being female or that society should push him to identify as a female. People automatically assume that someone not adhering to their gender role is transgender, which I believe is a flawed method of looking at it. In my opinion, nobody is born wanting to be the opposite gender. As of right now, nobody for sure knows why someone might want to identify as another gender. Some people say you were meant to be born as the opposite gender, but this doesn't make any sense from a biological standpoint. Which sperm cell gets inside the egg is completely based on factors such as sperm vitality, sperm count, position, and Brownian motion. Nobody is born as the "wrong" sex. Therefore, I think identifying as a different gender may be more based on neurological and social factors. Is there anything wrong with identifying as a different gender? No. Do I have any prejudice against these people? Nope. It just is just a statistical deviation from the norm, so I don't think it should be glorified in the media by creating dozens of gender identities that people are almost encouraged to follow.

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  3. #22
    Maki's Avatar
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    wait...logically, the way i see it, being human is the only reason you are able to even identify as nonhuman in the first place..unless im missing something. lol. do you feel me? i dont know too much about that kinda thing but im very open to being educated @(you need an account to see links), im just looking at the topic of "nonhuman" (including animal, entity, kin etc) from a logical point of view.

    its not like dogs can identify as human, or the tulip in your garden; identity -and the philosophical search for it- is attributed to humans, is it not? i feel like if you were truly a dog-kin (is that the right term) then you wouldnt be able to have such intellectual dysphoria in the first place.
    Last edited by Maki; 10-10-2015 at 05:33 PM.

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  5. #23
    Crazy Cat Lady PrettySarcastic's Avatar
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    I remain of the opinion that if you're not hurting other people, be whoever and whatever you want to be.




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  7. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by learningtoneopet1 View Post
    I know I'm going to get railed for this post but if you want to challenge it, I ask two things.
    1) Keep it civil. Just because my opinion doesn't follow the socially accepted norm doesn't mean you have the right to belittle it.
    2) Let me take you seriously. This means that I want you to write and act like an adult in your response. If your argument is guided by blinded rage towards my opinion, then I will simply ignore it

    With those out of the way, I'm more traditional in the sense that I believe that people born as males should "feel" like a male and females should "feel" like a female. This doesn't mean males playing with stereotypical male toys or for them to fulfill jobs such as construction or medicine. I think that just because a male likes to play dress up or play with "girl' toys, doesn't mean he should classify himself as being female or that society should push him to identify as a female. People automatically assume that someone not adhering to their gender role is transgender, which I believe is a flawed method of looking at it. In my opinion, nobody is born wanting to be the opposite gender. As of right now, nobody for sure knows why someone might want to identify as another gender. Some people say you were meant to be born as the opposite gender, but this doesn't make any sense from a biological standpoint. Which sperm cell gets inside the egg is completely based on factors such as sperm vitality, sperm count, position, and Brownian motion. Nobody is born as the "wrong" sex. Therefore, I think identifying as a different gender may be more based on neurological and social factors. Is there anything wrong with identifying as a different gender? No. Do I have any prejudice against these people? Nope. It just is just a statistical deviation from the norm, so I don't think it should be glorified in the media by creating dozens of gender identities that people are almost encouraged to follow.

    Would have to agree with this. I was born a woman. I despise lady things like makeup and dresses and doing my nails. I do not do it at all. I would rather be fishing, pulling out fish guts, and cooking in the mucky dirty woods rather than gussying up for a dance night. I better not be expected to identify as a boy because of that. I know some, albeit very few, will say I should. Some people get too much into "well you should be lady like" or "be more manly grow a beard". The fact is tons of people have times when the opposite sex shines through based on their behaviors and actions. I am a tomboy I guess you can say. Like I mentioned I would rather go camping and fishing and rough it in the woods than to ever put make up on, gussy up, and dance the night away with giggles and sparkles. Then there are men who may show that feminine side very strong. They care more about the way their hair looks than what the sports team is doing in the game. That sort of thing. We all do it in some way or another.


  8. #25

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    @(you need an account to see links) sorry if it seems like i dont try to reply in an adult way, i think the way i talk is just generally childish or condescending without me meaning to be. i promise you if i seem condescending or rude in this response its not intentional >____>
    but being trans is more than just "i was told i was a boy at birth, i have a weiner, but i like dresses", it has this disconnect between body and mind that lets you just... Know. youre not what youve been raised and socialised as. for instance... when i was younger, before puberty, id get mistaken for male a lot, and id refer to myself to new people with male sounding names and id just feel comfortable being like my male friends. of course tomboys exist, and i was told thats all i was, but as i hit puberty and got the inevitable Titty, i started to feel wrong? like, there was something in my brain when i looked in the mirror and saw them that said "this just isnt right at all". its very hard to explain properly because its not something you can fully understand until youve experienced it, as youve probably guessed. its just a series of mental cues that let you know what your body looks like is not what it should look like.
    so yeah its more neurological than physical i think... i mean its sort of both, but its more your brain telling you that your physical form isnt how it feels. some people are able to ignore it of course but there comes a time in some people where it becomes this frustrating itch that youre trying really hard to ignore...

    like, when youre in the mall and youve got a really bad itch on your inner thigh. and youre trying real hard to not scratch your inner thigh in public because people would frown upon it and think youre scratching your crotch. but its one of those itches that starts to sting the more you ignore it, and its getting more and more frustrating and irritating the longer you leave it until eventually you go "fuck it! i gotta scratch it! fuck what people think!" and some people kinda frown like "ugh look at this freak, this ANIMAL" but you feel right and everythings like 100% less frustrating and uncomfortable. thats how i think id explain it. kind of juvenile but its the best i can do on such short notice.
    anyway, thats how it felt for me at least. a constant itch i ignored and ignored because i thought itd go away on its own and i was scared people would think less of me if i scratched it, but the harder i ignored it, the longer i ignored it, the more ferocious and irritated it became until my brain was pretty much screaming at me every time i took my clothes off "this (ANGRY MOTIONS TO BODY) is not right. do something, idiot." and do something i did. now it feels right.

    but the thing is, for some people, it doesnt feel right to hear themselves say "i am male" or "i am female". it just... doesnt. thats another "hard to explain unless you experience it" thing. you just dont feel right, because although you look or act one way or another, you just dont feel like you fit into ANY gender. theres no set way to act male or female, youre right, but theres just a really Specific feeling that comes with being nonbinary. you feel in between, or neither, and it feels comfortable... i dont know. its a strange existence ill admit, but it feels right. it isnt physical sometimes, because i know a lot of people with vaginas who id as nonbinary and are perfectly fine with their bodies, but sometimes they need to bind their chests or something to feel right... i had to completely fucking REMOVE my titty (i almost said chest. i got my entire chest removed, im just a neck attached to a stomach.) until i felt right. the only time i feel wrong is when my brain thinks i still have boobs though. thats always weird. i didnt realise you could have phantom limbs in your tits but you learn something new every day i suppose!

    its how i feel too. im definitely a trans male. im a male! i feel male. but i dont feel... 100% male? theres still a good part of me that goes "well youre more male than you were, but youre only halfway there, and that feels comfortable doesnt it?" and im like yeah youre right. youre really goddamn correct. i dont feel 100% male, but i know for actual factual that i am not in any way female in my brain. maybe people see me as female because i have a uterus and a cooch, but i dont think that makes me female. and i like being in that place between male and nothing.

    sorry, does this make sense? its really hard to explain, especially when youre Me and have a hard time using english to begin with. not that its my second language or anything, i just fucking suck at wording anything LMFAO. i hope i at least got some part of it in a way thats easy to understand but i cannot stress enough that unless you experience the feeling of being a strange gender you will not understand how it is to be a strange gender. i like to call it genderweird personally, because a lot of people find it weird and hard to understand. i dont think people would appreciate cis people calling it genderweird though, so maybe not use that term unless you know people are comfortable with it. (im fine with it, call me genderweird all you like ~*~*~* ^_____^)


    @(you need an account to see links) oh no i dont disagree that im human haha. im fully aware that im human! its just another vague sort of feeling. i guess that goes hand in hand with the Coping Mechanism thing. ive never felt particularly connected with any human. even best friends, ive never felt like i relate to their experiences or their emotions or anything. although i speak and... exist. as a human being, my brain just doesnt feel like its on par with other human brains? i think thats a mental illness thing in my case, because its obvious ive got like 50000 screws loose, and as a result i just dont feel myself fitting in with other humans.
    i dont get angry when people go "well uh youre obviously human man you dont have a dogs body" or anything because like. fuckin DUH. i can see that every time i look in the mirror. its more a thing i tell myself and people im comfortable with, and it makes me feel a little better about a lot of the weird shit i think and do. i dont know what the hell i think i am, i just know theres a disconnect between me and a good majority of humans.
    sort of dont connect with dogs either. theyre a little hard to hold a conversation with. try as i might they just cant seem to learn english, nor can i learn dog. cats are just as difficult. insects too.
    jokes aside, i do agree that you need to be human to not feel human, im not going to completely deny the fact im a human, its just. how i feel i guess.

    but yeah, i doubt dogs can identify as human. its a little unfortunate if they do though, because they dont have the means of expressing it. that must really suck.
    i do think they can identify as cats though. and cats can id as dogs. ive met dogs who were adopted by cat mothers when they were pups and as a result act like cats in a clumsy dog-like way in their adulthood. maybe thats not an identity thing, but its definitely really goddamn cute to see.
    wouldnt doubt that dolphins have the capacity to identify as other creatures though. i hate dolphins. theyre too sentient for their own good.




    again, and this applies to everyone here, if i ever seem too angry or too patronising or juvenile in any response to a serious topic then i assure you its... probably not intentional. anger is subject to situation, but i do not at all mean to make people feel stupid or mocked for asking questions and not understanding things. if youre willing to learn, im willing to explain the absolute best i can, but be aware, and i know its probably dead fuckin obvious already, that because im not 100% mentally sound it is extremely hard for me to word things the way i need to, or the way you need me to, but i wont be offended if you ask me to word things better if i can or anything. and feel free to tell me im confusing or i sound condescending or rude, because its something i try to work on... i like to be approachable and someone people want to ask questions. if i ever get frustrated then 99% of the time its at myself, but if i feel like youre just making an ass out of me and disguising it as Confusion then you must understand why i get frustrated.

    tl;dr Ask Me Anything, But I Might Not Be Able To Help!


    Last edited by Mindfang; 10-10-2015 at 06:27 PM. Reason: i look like an ass using tags that dont work cleanse me lord and rid me of this hubris

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  10. #26
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    I don't believe in a god or higher powers so the jist of it is if you are born with a penis. Guess what you are a fucking dude. You can like whatever you want being the sex you are. Animals are born to repopulate their species and to control other populations or to make sure yours still exist. The whole I was a man/women at birth but I'm the opposite sex thing is bullshit imo. But others can disagree but I really don't care.


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  11. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sci_Girl View Post
    Would have to agree with this. I was born a woman. I despise lady things like makeup and dresses and doing my nails. I do not do it at all. I would rather be fishing, pulling out fish guts, and cooking in the mucky dirty woods rather than gussying up for a dance night. I better not be expected to identify as a boy because of that. I know some, albeit very few, will say I should. Some people get too much into "well you should be lady like" or "be more manly grow a beard". The fact is tons of people have times when the opposite sex shines through based on their behaviors and actions. I am a tomboy I guess you can say. Like I mentioned I would rather go camping and fishing and rough it in the woods than to ever put make up on, gussy up, and dance the night away with giggles and sparkles. Then there are men who may show that feminine side very strong. They care more about the way their hair looks than what the sports team is doing in the game. That sort of thing. We all do it in some way or another.
    ^ This actually reminds me of a really good blog post I read on gender identity vs. gender presentation.
    (you need an account to see links)

    As for the rest of the discussion... I may not be making sense right now because it's past midnight and I'm bloody tired, but... eh.

    On the internet, I see a lot of people using their identities as a weapon, almost. It's easy to hate something, to think something is "over the top", when the only people you see representing it are extremists who lash out at everyone who doesn't identify the same way they do. It's quite hard for me to take someone seriously when they're using their identity as cat-kin to invalidate trans people, which I've seen happen, a lot. Especially on the internet. (oh, internet....)

    On the other hand, having friends who came out to me as asexual, agender, and bigender took those from the "over the top" category for me to the "oh, this is a thing, that's cool" one. I've found that taking things seriously is easy when you know and like someone who then educates you on something that may not have made sense before. Like @(you need an account to see links), I honestly don't understand or feel comfortable with a lot of these identities, but I guess it's time to learn. @(you need an account to see links), your point about some of this stuff being a coping mechanism makes loads of sense, and I hadn't thought of it before. A little empathy goes a long way, I suppose. Thanks for shifting my world view a bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettySarcastic View Post
    I remain of the opinion that if you're not hurting other people, be whoever and whatever you want to be.
    ^
    Last edited by Winona; 10-10-2015 at 06:42 PM. Reason: I'm bloody tired, what are words

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peridot View Post
    @(you need an account to see links) oh no i dont disagree that im human haha. im fully aware that im human! its just another vague sort of feeling. i guess that goes hand in hand with the Coping Mechanism thing. ive never felt particularly connected with any human. even best friends, ive never felt like i relate to their experiences or their emotions or anything. although i speak and... exist. as a human being, my brain just doesnt feel like its on par with other human brains? i think thats a mental illness thing in my case, because its obvious ive got like 50000 screws loose, and as a result i just dont feel myself fitting in with other humans.
    i dont get angry when people go "well uh youre obviously human man you dont have a dogs body" or anything because like. fuckin DUH. i can see that every time i look in the mirror. its more a thing i tell myself and people im comfortable with, and it makes me feel a little better about a lot of the weird shit i think and do. i dont know what the hell i think i am, i just know theres a disconnect between me and a good majority of humans.
    sort of dont connect with dogs either. theyre a little hard to hold a conversation with. try as i might they just cant seem to learn english, nor can i learn dog. cats are just as difficult. insects too.
    jokes aside, i do agree that you need to be human to not feel human, im not going to completely deny the fact im a human, its just. how i feel i guess.

    but yeah, i doubt dogs can identify as human. its a little unfortunate if they do though, because they dont have the means of expressing it. that must really suck.
    i do think they can identify as cats though. and cats can id as dogs. ive met dogs who were adopted by cat mothers when they were pups and as a result act like cats in a clumsy dog-like way in their adulthood. maybe thats not an identity thing, but its definitely really goddamn cute to see.
    wouldnt doubt that dolphins have the capacity to identify as other creatures though. i hate dolphins. theyre too sentient for their own good.
    ah, if it's a coping mechanism (byproduct of mental illness), would you say that feeling nonhuman is more of a thing that would be "fixed" ("fixing" mental illess, as in "curing it"/"getting rid of it" for lack of better phrasing) as opposed to an identity? do you think they are synonymous? nobody should be living with mental illness for like...forever, yknow? it shouldn't be an identity, don't you think?


  14. #29
    Munna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mint View Post
    ah, if it's a coping mechanism (byproduct of mental illness), would you say that feeling nonhuman is more of a thing that would be "fixed" ("fixing" mental illess, as in "curing it"/"getting rid of it" for lack of better phrasing) as opposed to an identity? do you think they are synonymous? nobody should be living with mental illness for like...forever, yknow? it shouldn't be an identity, don't you think?

    I feel as though mental illness IS actually a forever thing...more or less. I don't think it's something that can be cured completely. It's like...being born with less than perfect eye sight. You can wear glasses to help, you can even go as far as getting lasik eye surgery, but you'll never be 100% the same as someone who was born with and keeps perfect vision.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Munna View Post
    I feel as though mental illness IS actually a forever thing...more or less. I don't think it's something that can be cured completely. It's like...being born with less than perfect eye sight. You can wear glasses to help, you can even go as far as getting lasik eye surgery, but you'll never be 100% the same as someone who was born with and keeps perfect vision.
    ohh, i guess i forgot to think about psychological conditions and stuff like that. okay, that makes sense

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