Heaviest/start weight: 256 lbs
Current weight: 190
Goal weight: around 140
I began this weight loss journey before I moved into this house. We moved in 9 months ago. I thought the heaviest I ever was was 242, but when I went to the hospital a few days ago, they literally said, "Wow, have you been losing weight! Last time you were here, you weighed 256! Congratulations!" and I was floored. I have lost 66 pounds, not 52 as I originally thought!
I have not seen a number under 200 since 8th grade. I am 26 now. The feeling when I saw a 1 on the scale.. I can't even describe it. I started crying, which was really unexpected. When I moved in here, I vowed to change so many things about my life. I wanted to change my attitude, my emotional state when I am in certain situations, and the way I handle them. I have had to harden myself to alot of things, and deal with ALOT of issues that I have kept inside for way too long. I wanted to change how I was with caring about keeping jobs, because I didn't before. What I wanted more than anything though, was to change my body. To be frank, I was disgusting. I am still big, but not nearly as big as I was before, and I am SO proud of what I have accomplished, not just with my weight, but with myself period. I have made great strides in my life lately.
The main reason for wanting to lose weight was my health. To begin, my wretched heartburn. I have it almost 24 hours a day, because I have GERD from a hiatal hernia. I had a stroke, yes a STROKE, when I was 22. I am lucky enough that the detriments to my mind and body were minimal. I am slightly weaker with my left hand/leg, but nothing noticeable. The most notable thing I have suffered is some minor memory/motor issues, but nothing too bad. I have no idea if they are from my weight, but I also have the depression/anxiety. I am tired all the time, have no energy etc. Another reason, loathe as I am to admit it, was for a guy. Not my motivation anymore at all, but it was in the beginning. Another big reason was my father. He is not doing great health-wise and I want to make him proud of me. I want to show him I am someone he should be proud of, not the person I used to be. I am going to Maine July 23rd, and I want to lose as much as I can before I go. He will be VERY happy. He literally has nightmares about me dying from a heart attack, and he is terrified that is going to happen.
Here is a before picture of me (with my dad <3)
Another of me from the side.
Now, a pic I took about a month ago, when I was at 202
It's honestly really hard to believe I ever looked like that.. but looking at these pictures makes me see how far I have really come. I can feel parts of me getting smaller, but it is a whole different story actually seeing my progress. There is a marked difference in my face and arms, and the rest of me too but mostly there. My breasts have shrunk a bit but hey, it's a small price to pay. I am still working toward my goal. I am getting used to being smaller, I have been fat all of my life. I honestly made myself overweight on purpose when I was about 11 or 12, because of emotional reasons. I am dealing with the issues cropping up from losing this security blanket, and they are not easy. But I know I need to do this, and I know I will. I am proud.