Loss... How do you cope?

[Pidgey]

Last night I got held over and ultimately worked a 12 and a half hour shift.

My husband wakes up at 3 am to get ready for work and let's our 3 dogs out as I'm crawling into bed.
He let's them in before he leaves for work.

At 9am I'm woken up to my husband yelling hes having a seizure!

I run down the hall into the gym where our large (great Pyrenees 110pounds) dog sleeps. The gym has large windows that look out into the front yard.
Hes got his bed in the corner and he loves it in there...

I come in to find him stiff, with his mouth clenched. Having never dealt with a dog seizing I'm just trying to comfort him.
For what feels like an eternity was probably closer to 2 minutes.
He doesnt come out of it.

We call the Vets and rush him down. They tell us they're gonna run some tests and give him fluids.
So we leave.

An hour later we get a call from the vet saying our dogs sugar is low. Normally you either see it in a dog that has been eating food sweetners or peanut butter (lots of it) or gotten into sugar free gum

Hes on a strict grain free diet with the occasional plain yogurt. We dont chew gum in our house and hes not fed table scraps.
He hasnt had an appetite the last 3 days but that's not unusual for him. Hes only 5 years old.
He says it's possible he has a tumor but seeing as how the injections (liquid sugar I guess simple version) has got him up and walking again, they were going to hold him a couple more hours and run tests again at 3pm.

We call them back and the Tech says the Veterinarian needs to talk to us but cant get to the phone right now.

So thinking he might have treatment options or something we just cruise down and wait to talk with the vet.
Hes actually ready when we get there and says he has bad news.
His health has taken a turn for the worst. His white blood counts are normal.
Which rules out an infection.
He thinks its pancreatic cancer or a tumor which means he likely has liver issues as well.
The only way to keep him stable until surgery can be done (in 2 days from now)
Would be round the clock supervision and an iv supplying him with stable levels of glucose.
Costing the upwards of $2000.

The vet is very straight forward and says he doesnt think it's a realistic option with how fast his health is deteriorating.
He doesnt think he would make until monday. And even with surgery the odds are less than 1 in 4.
The cost of surgery alone no scans or xrays was in the ball park of $7000-$9000. Not including everything leading up to surgery.

So my husband and I made the hardest decision of our lives and him humanely euthanized.

We are so torn up about. We keep replaying the week so far and he looked and acted so healthy.
We had no idea he was fighting this illness. While we are still grieving, I just felt the need to explain our situation...
Semi-anonymously.

See what got you through tragedy.

This is the 2nd dog I've lost. The first died in my arms unexpectedly at 9 years old (also young) due to heart failure.

I dont want the advice to get another dog... please refrain from this. We have 2 dogs still, and it took me over a year to get over my last dogs passing.
And even after adopting a new dog I felt so guilty.

[Neofett]

I got goosebumps reading your post.
Me and my husband just went through this same exact thing.
Our dog got sick out of no where and we thought she was diabetic so we took her to the vet Monday night. We left her there a few days to be hooked up to IV Fluids/Antibiotics and given insulin. Wednesday night we go to see her and my sister (she's a vet tech) tells me her blood test is showing she is having liver failure and it could be caused by a tumor or some sort of cancer. We were told her levels were so high there was no reversing the damage that was already done to her liver and pancreas. Wednesday night we had to make the decision to euthanize her.

I think I have fallen into a depression because of it. I keep thinking about the what ifs and if there were any signs I missed. It's been a few days now and it's getting easier but it just takes time. Talking about her and the memories I had of her helps a lot. Me and my husband cry together too. We talk about the good times, our plans for her ashes, etc.

I hope this helps you and I'm so sorry about your loss. You're not alone

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk

[Achyfi]

It is okay to grieve, allow yourself to grieve <3 Nothing that you're feeling is unnatural, let yourself feel what you're feeling and acknowledge what you're able to about it, but try not to feel like you're wrong for thinking about getting another dog or like you're grieving the "wrong" way.

My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry for your loss, that sounds like an extremely stressful situation for you and your husband to go through.

[Ph0enix]

I am very sorry for your loss. I have lost dogs before.. when we lost my Bella, I was in a different state and was not there to hold her paw as she left. She got cancer in her ear. It kept blowing up and my father did his best to drain it but in the end it spread to her eye and her brain and she was just suffering. I had to pull over because I was crying so hard. She was a wonderful, loving big baby (she was a pit bull) and she even saved our lives once. I still have a framed photo of her with her dog tags.

I lost my father November 27th. Since then, I have tried to cling onto everything he had, pictures and trinkets and things. I cry constantly, even almost a year later. I am getting a tattoo for him soon, and I know it will bring me the closure I need. Would you consider a tattoo? They can also put the ashes into your tat if your baby was creamated. My father got her pawprints on his arm. He said it really helped.

[Mindfang]

real poorly lol. i cope with it by not coping with it. if i pretend it didnt happen then im fine until someone makes me think about it. at that point its their problem.

losing a pet is rough and doesnt get easier. im not gonna lie to you and say it does. all you can do is acknowledge you did the right thing by them, you didnt continue their existence for your own selfishness, and you do your best to push forward.

i lost my dog in march, he was 17 and had a seizure the night before we decided he couldnt go on like he had been. my mum got his ashes in a biodegradable urn and planted them outside in her garden and now some roses have started growing where he was buried. i always feel better when i see that rose bush. not by much, because its not physically my dog and it never will physically be my dog again, but its something. thats my recommendation, if you can afford it, get his ashes and turn them into something new from the earth. let him live on through it, give him back and let him continue giving you joy in the ways he can now. it might not be physical, but its still him.

[♥ SomeClown ♥]

A f4riend of mine just died in the hospital yesterday. He was in a horrific xar crash, the driver is so frought with guilt he tried to kill himself, and the grilfriend in the car is the only one unaware anything has happened...

I've experienced a lot in my life, including losing others. This hits the hardeast though. a Kiid I have taught to make music, DJ...be a better man for fuck sakes...

I can only cope by making music...blaring too many clipped transients into my face...and I just woke up...and now I need exactly that..

I feel for you, kep your head up <3

[Pidgey]

When my first dog passed I got his paw prints tattooed on me. I knew I want them before he passed so I had taken lots of paw print impressions.
I got his paw prints a little less than a year after his passing and it did help.
I'm just not sure what I would get for him, or even if I want more tattoos.
That's awesome you can get the ashes in the tattoo now! They have places that can turn ashes into gem stones and stuff. That could be an interesting idea too.

I do like the idea of having him turned into a plant. My biggest regret with my first dog was burying him in my grandfather's property. It was willed to my dad so It was supposed to stay in the family
4 years later my grandpa sold the property and then I had to grieve all over again not being able to see his grave ever again.
So if I could plant him in a pot I could always have him.

I try to listen to upbeat music to get me out of a funk.
I love "Tones and I"s song Dance Monkey. She has such a unique voice.

Thanks so much for all the replies ❤

[Mama Bear]

I'm sorry for your loss. Seizures are so scary with dogs. Last year, my husband called me at work and told me that our 6yo dachshund was seizing. He picks me up, and by the time we get home (3 minute drive max), he's gone. The image of him like that still makes me very upset to think about. Thankfully, Eevee was too young to understand what was going on, so didn't get traumatised. I made a photobook from the pictures I had of him, as well has having his ashes in photo urn (picture of him and Eevee napping together) on the mantle. Reading the Raspy book is part of her bedtime routine now; it breaks my heart when she tells me she misses him, but we've explained that he still lives in our hearts.

I didn't shed a tear when my father died, on the other hand. I was relieved that he was able to meet my daughter, but never had the opportunity to hurt or disappoint her. Raspy was just pure, innocent love though. You ache. You mourn. You grieve. You don't forget. But you do move on with life.

[tobyfox]

I'm so sorry for your loss

In the last year I've lost two pets. A 12 year old Labrador whose hips gave out (he deteriorated badly within a few days) and a less than 3 year old Maine Coon cat who died overnight from a stroke the vet linked to HCM (common in the breed - but up until then had never been diagnosed with it nor had any symptoms, he was live one night and dead the next morning). Both lived with my parents, who have another cat who also grieved for them both as she was very bonded with them, she wouldn't eat food, she had twitchy fur, etc - they actually got a new cat to keep her company once she started to recover, which has helped her.

My family has always used candles as a way to commemorate their passing, we have about 5 candles all lined up (a couple we have had for over 15 years). I also put in money to get cuddle clones of them and I have plans on getting a silhouette of a dog and cat with either stars or pawprints tattooed on me to signify the pets I have had in my lifetime (both alive and gone).

I find it hard to cope after losing a pet. I still go to work as the kids distract me for a while allowing time for my body to rest from the grief. I listen to music. I take special care of the pets I still have. Months later I still have moments where I mourn their loss.

Live moves on, the pain dies down but they will never be forgotten.