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Thread: 50k to funniest joke!!!!

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    50k to funniest joke!!!!

    I need a laugh. Get posting. Will give 50k to all jokes that make me laugh.

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    "There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

    Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

    "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

    "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.""

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    Queen of Candy Land Ray-Chill's Avatar
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    A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Ray-Chill For This Useful Post:

    kidchaor (02-01-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by ray-chill View Post
    a newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" the husband says, "what do i look like, mr. Plumber?" a few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" he says: "what do i look like, mr. Goodwrench?" another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" he says, "what do i look like, bob vila?" the next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "oh, i had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "nothing. He said he'd do it for free if i either baked him a cake or slept with him." "uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "what do i look like," she says, "betty crocker?"
    lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

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    Wanna hear a joke?


    *It was joke guise dont take offence lol

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    Ray-Chill (02-01-2012)

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    ugh I've heard all of these b4

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    lmfao D:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxxamillion View Post
    Wanna hear a joke?


    *It was joke guise dont take offence lol
    ^^ This! xD

    ---------- Post added at 04:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:45 PM ----------

    As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

    She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

    A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

    ---------- Post added at 04:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:46 PM ----------

    Also,
    How do you do the spoiler?

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    Ray-Chill (02-01-2012)

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