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Thread: im horrible at these things so i need advice.

  1. #1

    Air's Avatar
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    im horrible at these things so i need advice.

    Alright, so first let me explain beforehand:

    I've lived with a couple close friends and I've seen the whole 'date inside the friend cirle/have relations' thing turn terrible.
    They have both slept with a guy that friend A had not only feelings with, BUT history, and it's created a tad bit of tension.
    However it's been resolved somewhat and they've become closer because of it.


    SO ANYWAYS.

    There is this fellow that I find attractive and overall a swell guy. However, he's dated a couple of my friends (around 3-4 years ago?)
    But it still falls under the whole circle of friends thing. I don't really want to step on toes or fall into the whole ordeal of the previous situation.
    I know that currently no one has feelings for him, nor wants to date him. (I've had this conversation with them several times just to be sure.)

    Should I even attempt to get closer to this fella or is it too risky?

    I know that he for lack of a better word, likes me; I just don't want for everything to open a can of worms, you know?
    So advice, please. c:

  2. #2
    Octopus's Avatar
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    If it was YEARS ago and your friends don't care about him, it really shouldn't cause any tension unless you find this guy has feelings for them still. c:

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    Air (02-17-2014)

  4. #3
    Andymac106's Avatar
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    Yeah if it was years ago, then everything. I would say you're certainly fine if your friends that he's dated in the past have moved on to other guys

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    Air (02-17-2014)

  6. #4


    Banannie's Avatar
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    Everything should be fine, my circle of friends dates eachother and we don't have any issues. One of my best friends is in an open relationship and her boyfriend (one of my best guy friends) and I slept together without any issues between any of us.

    Communication is key when dating your circle of friends. Such as, if you two break up there is the possibility of people taking sides, and not understanding that the relationship is between the two of you and not them. If it's been years then it should be okay, esp. if none of them have feelings for one another. 3-4 years is a long time in between a relationship, and if there are any feelings between anyone then that should have been addressed a long time ago and isn't your responsibility. :3

    If you two like eachother, go for it! It's good to think of your friends feelings, but your happiness is important, too.

    I am always happy to see my exes find someone to love, because even if it doesn't work out between me and that person I still want them to be happy with someone, and if they end up dating a friend it actully makes me feel better because then I know if that person is good for them.

    It's hard not to have a circle of friends that consist of men and women not date eachother, because they get to know one another as friends first and are better able to see if they are compatible with that person. If anyone has any issues with who you date, then they have not matured enough to be able to communicate their feelings properly and that isn't your problem. It's theirs.

    I had a friend that I had a crush on for years and another friend got to him first, but I never spoke up so it was my own thing, you know? Can't blame or be mad at other people for wanting love and wanting to be happy.

    Go for it! Good luck! I hope he's the love of your life! :3 ♥ ♥

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    Air (02-17-2014),vampyd1977 (02-18-2014)

  8. #5

    Air's Avatar
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    Thanks guys. I mean I'm not in love with him or anything by any means.
    I just wanted to get some advice from someone outside the friend view. c:

  9. #6
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    go for it, life is too short not to enjoy every second. when me and bexxy met we were introduced by my previous girlfriend. she didnt want me so it wasnt an issue.

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    Air (02-18-2014)

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