Im sad and the worst part of it ls I know it. This year ive had bries suicidal thoughts too for the first time. I really take no pleasure in a lot. Things feel the same, and peope do things over and over hoping theyll be saved.
i dont like going out with friends. i mean whats the big deal? life is quite dull. I experienced a terrible trauma and everytime i think about it i cant breathe. i dont like people anymore... it is just so sad. i dont know what to do with this sadness. I want to be beautiful but Its gamble. I used to be pretty but now i am a monster because of a horrible man i trusted. but other than that, its all the same things. i go to college and learn but so what? maybe, just maybe that is the meaning of my life. to learn and be by myself. because in the end i also realized what i learn is only good for me. people wont change much so i cant tire myself all the time for the will. I cant change anyone. I know ive been this was for 10 years. nobody changed me.
I am at the airport waiting for my plane. i wont see your replys for the next 12 hours as i will
be flying. If I cant manage to survive this board will be the last one I write to.
I dont know how you all do it, but know that you are lucky.
My life is circled around not people but dreams
I live in my own head
A little bit mental for most people
But I'd say... If I can be happy like this then why care?
Best dream so far: 27.12.13 *most detailed one*
<3
Have you tried consulting a psychologist? This may be a good idea to see your life a different way, and to work on yourself. Maybe all you need to be happy is just a little help.
dont be sad.
talk it out with a counselor/ family.
you might feel better!
i myself find the company of most people tedious/ unnecessary.
it takes a lot to excite me/ get into the 'mood of things'
fortunately for me though, i have a close group of friends whom i do not feel the same way about.
in my opinion, what keeps us so close together is our mindset/ goals/ way we think.
keep looking though! close friends are hard to come by.
when they do come though, they stay for life
Meds and counseling. Forums can only do so much. None of us are currently suffering from starvation or living on the streets, so I'd say we are just as lucky as you.
I'm really sorry that you are going through this. Just remember to keep looking forward; this is not going to last forever. You WILL be happy and you WILL move on. Like the others said, you should consider talking to someone. You might cringe at the thought of seeing a counselor/psychologist, but I guarantee you it will help. I've been equally as depressed as you, and I'm still trying to fight my way out of it--but it's so much easier with the help of a professional, trust me.
Also, I want to add that you are hands-down one of the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. You possess a very exotic beauty. I seriously couldn't believe it when I realized that your avatar and signature were actually pictures of you, and not some random model.
Reply With Quote
Posting Permissions