What do you consider unforgivable in a relationship?

[Lisbeth]

Emotional cheating. I mean I wouldn't do any kind of cheating, but I could probably forgive physical cheating, people get drunk shit happens. But emotional cheating doesn't "just happen", it takes inappropriate interactions over time. I can forgive someone for making a mistake, but not for intentionally doing something shitty to me over the course of days/weeks/whatever, knowing it's wrong and hurtful but doing it anyway. That's just selfish.

[haiqtpi]

Infidelity is a very interesting topic. I, for example, am in an open relationship with my long term bf of 9 years. Things are and always have been absolutely wonderful that said, if we weren't, and he cheated, I would likely not care simply due to the fact that we are young and its so common. It may be the psychologist in my talking, but I find the more educated a couple is, the more realistic they are able to be about expectations of each other. Open relationships may be common in the gay world, but in academia they are also rampant. While it had worked amazingly for me, I would never recommend it to another person without knowing their views on many things. I'm of the opinion that infidelity and love/respect in a relationship are not mutually exclusive things. That said, I would say that violence is not particularly forgiveable. There may be circumstances (over inebriation for example) which may allow a tiny bit of grey area, but in general it represents to me a person who you cannot trust (in the deepest sense, I find trust and infidelity superficial trust).

[Porneranian]

punching me in the vagina is probably not going to fly

[Aura]

punching me in the vagina is probably not going to fly

hope ur not speaking from experience

[Kevin!]

Definetly have to say cheating - only get 1 chance with me and if you fuck it up then its your loss!

[Mindfang]

just got this from that other thread about the dates its something i dealt with w/ one of my exes:

if you ask my fine ass out on a date then push the bill on me because you cant afford it? youre dumped and blacklisted!
honestly he asked me out like "lets go out tonight" then at the end of the night hes like "you mind taking the bill? ive got like no cash" i was like? then whyd you ask me out fuckboy? wanker still hasnt paid me back honestly im about to open a lawsuit that was like �40 per his request.

[vj87]

Depends. I have been with my partner nearly 9 years now and honestly, theres not much he could do that would be unforgivable. With the exception of shagging my mother or something.

[Clear]

Abuse. For that, I can't forgive someone. Physical abuse especially - you should never hurt the person that you supposedly love.
Mental and emotional abuse, I can give chances on. But if it becomes severe and continues even after speaking about it then I cannot forgive this either. For example, people who are jealous to the point of not wanting you to have any other friends. Especially if they try to make you feel guilty, as if you are doing something wrong. This is not ok to me.

To me, there is nothing worse than causing harm like this to the person you should be treating with kindness, love and respect.

Also, I would not want to be with someone who has bad habits. Such as smoking, being an alcoholic, druggie, lives a violent lifestyle, etc.
And, I do not want children....so this is another thing. It's not unforgivable, but just that I cannot be with someone who does for obvious reasons.

[TwistyBR]

cheating is the most unforgivable love crime, always

[BoopnDoot]

Retyping for the 30,000,000th time, lets just make a list (there's no real order it's just the order they came to mind after all they have the same effect) since then I won't ramble or rage and embarrass myself.

- Cheating (don't care who with, how far away you were or how drunk you were, do it and you're dead to me)
- Sexual Abuse
- Mental and emotional abuse
- Repeated physical abuse or knocking me out
- Racism/sexism/homophobia/bigotry or anything of the sort at any angle
- Any crimes that are of a sexual nature
- Hurt my cat

The things above I won't even look at you if I know you fit into any of the categories, it's happened before where I've severed all contact with people who've done any of these things, I don't care if you didn't do it to me and I don't even care if you did it to someone I don't like, what matters is that you did it and that makes you a bad person who can't be trusted.

Most other things I'm pretty sure I'd be willing to try to work through. I know my limits and know what I can deal with, that means knowing myself well enough to know that I personally need to stay away from open/casual relationships, and people who know they can't do exclusive relationships should know their limits too, just be honest with yourself and everyone else, and so long as you are it'll be okay, but as soon as you're dishonest and cheat it's a problem.

Best way to stay on my good side in a relationship, be a good person and be open, honest and communicative. That's as simple as I can make it. Thankfully I don't think I'll be having to deal with any of the above ever again (not had to deal with all of them but what I have dealt with was really difficult for me), things are bound to take a bit of effort but I can't honestly see it ever getting so bad that unforgivable things have happened and there's nothing left to work on.