Originally Posted by
Mod
"Please! Please give me candy so I can pass them to my children who are with my estranged wife whose been granted full custody, as Halloween treats! PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU! The courts ruled in her favor and she took everything including the house and car! I am dead broke, sharing a flat in the projects, I can't even afford a bag of candy to give to my children! The judge said I am unfit to be a parent due do moderate psychosis caused by years of heavy alcoholism and I have to attend biweekly probation hearings, alongside community therapy! I receive paltry welfare checks and survive on McDonald's dollar value menu everyday, I'm dying! PLEASE, I NEED THIS TO SHOW MY 3 AND 6 YEAR OLDS I'M A CAPABLE FATHER! JUST OPEN THE DOOR, I'M ON MY KNEES AND SOBBING NOW! PLEEEEEAAAASEEEEEE!!!"
Works every time.