but mousey i love you ;-;
And if you feel like that could be pointing out to you in person, then it's probably true.
I know I'm not the most socially endowed person alive. Far from actually. But what I absolutely cannot fucking stand is the fact I have a shitty facebook account full of so called friends who are always on the go or out with friends, but always seem to fail to even bother about my life or ever ask me to join up to something. Fair enough, their choice; But it's all becoming way to fake for me to like it. The same goes for this forum and others I used to love so much, that is (not even that) slowly turning in to a shitty hole of liars, gossips and a lot of other bullshit I am so not up for. And frankly I'm considering to stop visiting the whole lot of them for good.
Though the fun part is, it doesn't even matter where the fuck you turn your face or try to hide it; The same shit always pops up everywhere. Which lately has been making me want to run across the top of a scyskraper and jump the fuck off the damn thing.
I am so sick of everyone and everything, myself heavily included.
I've been considering two choices lately; Which is either running away, or making the jump. I don't sleep anymore because of it, and I've stopped smiling again. I don't even feel the energy anymore to think 'FML!', I just try to find the energy every day to drag myself out of bed to impatiently wait to the point I can dive back in to be haunted by the nightmares and demo s I can silence at least a bit in daylight.
I fucking hate it. I fucking hate myself. And most of all, I fucking hate all of you, who directly or indirectly are a part or source of this goddamn misery that just never fucking seems to stop.
That's all I have to say for now, and I am slightly dissapointed to find out even ranting doesn't do as good as anything to get it off my mind. Sigh.
Last edited by Mouse; 07-21-2013 at 01:07 PM.
A sad, crude, twisted little girl.
but mousey i love you ;-;
It might be time to cut off the internet, deactivate facebook, and get a change of scenery. If there are things crawling under your skin, and some of them you can get rid of, get rid of 'em. Try going out to a different part of where you live, somewhere you've never been before. Make new friends, or don't, but try to be exposed to something new. If these sort of feelings continue to follow you, it might be time to seek out some sort of therapy. Doesn't necessarily mean a doctor/shrink, but maybe someone you know you can talk to. Last thing you want to do is let shit fester.
Also, gossip and drama are everywhere, the best thing to do is just not take part in it and let it blow over. People fight, get bitter, bitch about each other. Let them have at it, but do your best to stay neutral about it. Unless, of course, you have good reason to not. In which case, kill 'em and eat the body.
Whispers (07-21-2013)
You can't blame people on CK for problems in your real life.
If things on CK are upsetting you (which you haven't specified) so much that it actually is effecting your life this badly... you don't have to go on, there are billions of other websites for you to visit.
In regards to your friends and facebook. If you want to join in with your friends, don't wait to be asked, ask them. Or don't rely on faceboook. Go see them
I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm being honest.
cloudxcrash (07-21-2013)
Oh just shut up already with the philosophers talk and shrink talk or whatever. I just needed to spit some stuff out that bugs my brain.
I don't blame CK for stuff in my real life, that would be a good joke indeed. I just blame a lot of people on here for being/becoming filthy backstabbing snakes. Which is just being honest as well. And sad, because this used to be a much more fun place to come to.
In general, without internet connected to my post - I just wish either I was dead, or 99% of the human population would be.
Seeing the fact neither probably will happen anytime soon, these are just a few tiny things on my mind that make me ever so moody.
---------- Post added at 09:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 PM ----------
I like your advice.
A sad, crude, twisted little girl.
A fuck the world attitude won't solve shit, just so you know. Even though this is probably just venting its still a problem and I don't think this is how you should solve it
This is just venting, but going in to your post anyway; It's what helped me keep my feet for many years by now, in smaller or bigger portions of showing or feeling so ... So what would you advice if I would be to sweep that small spit of steady ground away under my feet doc?
A sad, crude, twisted little girl.
You would make a good shrink, but not any better then the actual ones that have tried "so hard" in the past to figure the puzzle out. I know where my problems come frome and I know the reasons I generally dislike a whole lot of people. (Few exceptions there) Frankly I am not even in the mood to explain too much about it, but I can assure you that for atleast 15 years of my life people have been making very sure I have plenty of reasons to hate them for 12 lifetimes or more. In general I am actually quite a positive person, emotional outbursts of heavy frustration put aside, but just shoving everything aside and act like you can give rebirth to yourself every single day is just complete and utter bullcrap.
A sad, crude, twisted little girl.
Well..15 years in it might be a bit too late to do what I suggested. If you have legit reasons to hate these people, then hate them especially if its too late to make amends. But i've adopted a fuck it and move on attitude when shit happens to me because what does it really matter?
cloudxcrash (07-21-2013)