And if you feel like that could be pointing out to you in person, then it's probably true.
I know I'm not the most socially endowed person alive. Far from actually. But what I absolutely cannot fucking stand is the fact I have a shitty facebook account full of so called friends who are always on the go or out with friends, but always seem to fail to even bother about my life or ever ask me to join up to something. Fair enough, their choice; But it's all becoming way to fake for me to like it. The same goes for this forum and others I used to love so much, that is (not even that) slowly turning in to a shitty hole of liars, gossips and a lot of other bullshit I am so not up for. And frankly I'm considering to stop visiting the whole lot of them for good.
Though the fun part is, it doesn't even matter where the fuck you turn your face or try to hide it; The same shit always pops up everywhere. Which lately has been making me want to run across the top of a scyskraper and jump the fuck off the damn thing.
I am so sick of everyone and everything, myself heavily included.
I've been considering two choices lately; Which is either running away, or making the jump. I don't sleep anymore because of it, and I've stopped smiling again. I don't even feel the energy anymore to think 'FML!', I just try to find the energy every day to drag myself out of bed to impatiently wait to the point I can dive back in to be haunted by the nightmares and demo s I can silence at least a bit in daylight.
I fucking hate it. I fucking hate myself. And most of all, I fucking hate all of you, who directly or indirectly are a part or source of this goddamn misery that just never fucking seems to stop.
That's all I have to say for now, and I am slightly dissapointed to find out even ranting doesn't do as good as anything to get it off my mind. Sigh.
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