Howdy! So you’re interested in the fast moving crazy world of the PC? You wanna do like the traders do? Trade your BN Chia up towards the UC God tier? Well, follow these steps and you’ll be well on your way to being a full blown PC Lord.
START OFF WITH A SPECIES/COLOR COMBO NO ONE CARES ABOUT
You heard me. Duh. Search the pound high and low for the worst named, cheapest colored pet you can find.
A Ghost Ogrin will do for this example.
I am worth a metric ton of UC
Now, you take that hot item and you advertise it on the PC- what, you don’t know how?
Okay, that brings us to...
SHOVING THE PET DOWN EVERYONE'S THROAT
BAM make a board advertising your FU_NNy_Buunny666 to the world! Make sure you include that you’re ONLY after VWN offers and that they should be AT LEAST Draiks. The very least c’mon.
Now bump
bump
bump
…bump
…What the Bob Jones is going on?
YOU’RE NOT GETTING A SINGLE OFFER.
Oh wait.. A
POST!
“Lol glt”
“I don’t think you can get what you’re seeking with that
”
“Lul fail troll”
“Dude, it’s just an Ogrin, a VBN one at that”
“I think these guides should help you out”
“I ttly offer my –high offer here-“
Who do these motherfuckers think they are? Telling you that your Funny Bunny ain’t worth shit.
You’ll show them!
Take FU_NNy_Buunny666 around other peoples threads
Offer him up on pretty much EVERY board you see!
Well named Draik? Offer your Funny Bunny.
Common RW?
Offer your Funny Bunny.
UC P/R/D/K?
Shit, offer your damn Funny Bunny.
DO THE ABOVE FOR A WEEK UNTIL THE CONSTANT REJECTION BREAKS YOUR LITTLE SOUL
Once your SPIRIT HAS BEEN SHATTERED make a board on the PC about it.
Add more tears for tragic emphasis.
A good guide to follow when making the quintessential defeat board:
- Lots of sad smilies
- Sob story about your REAL LIFE PROBLEMS AND HOW NEOPETS IS AN ESCAPE
- LIST YOUR DAMN UC “DREAMIE”, MAN. IT’S TOTALLY RELEVANT.
- CAPS LIKE I’VE BEEN DOING
- Catty attitude
Fight with people; be rude, be plain ugly so that they’ll be mean to you. Have the PC rip you a new hole. Keep at it until.. what’s that?
Well shit, my little nugget, you did it. Because here comes the one person who feels either
1) sorry for you
2) like fucking with people
WhiteKnight is gonna’ “save your ass” because he/she is going to legitimately offer something ridiculous for your Funny Bunny. Do not reject that offer. Trade immediately; you don’t want WhiteKnight to change their mind.
WhiteKnight has offered to exchange URUCDREAMIE for your FU_NNy_Buunny666
NOW IMMEDIATELY GO BACK TO THE BOARD AND FLAUNT YOUR NEW UC DREAAAM. Watch everyone freak out while WhiteKnight gallops into the sunset.
YOU’RE A BIG BOY NOW
Alright, you’ve got an UC pet. It’s you’re total UC dream. Give it about two hours and start advertising him/her as UFT because
GREAT! Now ignore the people who are throwing snarky remarks at you. You don’t need those assholes, right sunshine? Right.
Advertise your UC 'dreamie' like you did your Funny Bunny- shove in every orifice. But here’s the difference- you’re going to get offers- and you’re going to reject ALL OF THEM.
That’s right, all of them. You’re ONLY looking for over offers! So when someone offers a very fair trade, REJECT THAT BABY with a
Add a winking smiley for –really- “dumb offers”.
Continue on that route until you either get a “better” UC or you give up and “pound” the one you’ve got
MOST IMPORTANTLY
- be as cocky as possible
- overestimate the worth of your pet
- If your pet’s name format is Xxx39494_____xxXxxXXXXxxxxx it’s VWN
- Don’t check values
If all else fails, repeat the crying process and hope for the galloping hooves of the White Knight.
Or
You could go a different route entirely and put the pet UFA with ridiculous rules- but make sure you take it down a few weeks later.
Now go,
be free to trade.
