My friend asked me to tell him a story...

[Ebil]

In the mood for a story? It's a long read, but hey maybe you'll fucking learn something from it. It's 100% true, this is an account of a segment of my actual life. Two peoples names were replaces with XXXX and XX, my girlfriends name was replaced with MyLove

If this is in the wrong section please move it.

[3/3/2013 2:01:36 AM] max: tell me a story
[3/3/2013 2:01:36 AM] max: that happened since... like last year
[3/3/2013 2:02:46 AM] Ebil: i will try and think of a good story haha
[3/3/2013 2:03:53 AM] max: i think of your life like Trainspotting
[3/3/2013 2:03:59 AM] max: the movie
[3/3/2013 2:04:03 AM] Ebil: Lol that's pretty good actually
[3/3/2013 2:04:15 AM] Ebil: if u want a trainspotting type story, I have one for you
[3/3/2013 2:04:20 AM] Ebil: give me a second to take a piss
[3/3/2013 2:04:23 AM] max: k
[3/3/2013 2:08:26 AM] Ebil: so i guess its about how I finally crossed the line from snorting pills to shooting heroin, and somewhere in the tangles of it all I found love..during which I lost her a couple times, but still to this day have her by my side
[3/3/2013 2:10:51 AM] Ebil: I guess it starts with this stupid nigger guy XXXX, who at first I was good friends with, really liked him..he even kept me away from the pills, just stuck me with weed and drink which is really as far as you should ever go in your life in turns of abuse
[3/3/2013 2:11:56 AM] Ebil: i hung out with him every day, and then eventually he gets kicked out of his house, ffreal this time..so I let him stay with who I was staying with for a time, eventually had to kick him out just because if your not going to do anything with your life you cant just leech of my living situation, but i still hung out with him all the time
[3/3/2013 2:13:09 AM] Ebil: he would always introduce me to new characters, alot of which became good friends..but one day I meet yet another one of his friends, he didn't have friends though just people who were "of use" to him this guys name was XX, and XXXX would stay at his house when he could. otherwise for him he would just have to sleep at the park behind our development
[3/3/2013 2:13:47 AM] Ebil: this guy XX lived only a block away from me, in the same house that my godparents had lived in before oddly enough, he had an addiction himself, so I took a liking to him
[3/3/2013 2:14:54 AM] Ebil: then one day I see him getting high, but for him it wasn't crushing up a pill and snorting it, it was melting down a bag of dope, or a capsule of scramble (scramble is heroin with fentanyl, a junkies dream and a dealer road to riches) and shooting it up
[3/3/2013 2:15:29 AM] Ebil: i was always the kind of person who would pick up whatever was on the table and try it. New foods, new video games, new drugs..anything i'll give anything a chance
[3/3/2013 2:15:42 AM] Ebil: so i told him i wanted to try out getting high through a needle
[3/3/2013 2:16:18 AM] Ebil: i got a scramble cap of my own, which was only 20 dollars..at that point I would usually spent 80 on a percocet 80mg pill and snort it to get high
[3/3/2013 2:16:44 AM] Ebil: i only did like a 1/3 of the powder in the capsule, he shot me up in my arm and I just fucking fell in love
[3/3/2013 2:18:24 AM] Ebil: he even told me after he shot me up he was like well damn i've created another addict..and he was right, because before yeah I was "addicted" to getting high I guess. but I didn't know what real opiate addiction was until a month or two later
[3/3/2013 2:21:49 AM] Ebil: this guy was my new best friend, i would throw in 20 dollars, get myself a capsul and be able to get high for the whole fucking day..like seriously seriously high..the 80s I used to buy werent even comparable. he got the good stuff with the fentanyl mixed in with it...that stuff..if you were a first time user and shot up one of those you would die..i've seen it with my own eyes more than once. a close friend of mine underestmated the drugs we were doing and wanted to do it himself, after shooting up he passed out and that was lights out for him. we went to his funeral just a couple days later. it was ridiculous, the preacher guy who spoke at his funeral just tried to push god down our throats..it was obvious that his tone was that this guy did not have god in his life..so fucking disrespectful everyone was so pissed off about how that went...but yeah so even after seeing my very own drug of choice drop someone to the floor to never stand up again I still continued
[3/3/2013 2:22:37 AM] Ebil: ill just skip to a couple months later i guess
[3/3/2013 2:23:18 AM] Ebil: we would still do our daily routine, but now we had no more money in our bank accounts...noone to borrow money from, so at night we would steal from cars or break into someones house..whatever we could do so we could get our drugs the next day.
[3/3/2013 2:23:51 AM] Ebil: slowly but surely I became addicted, he would even point and laugh when I would show a sign of withdrawal and I didn't even know it..but I would just blow it off I didn't really care.
[3/3/2013 2:26:19 AM] Ebil: he always taught that you have to be clean about your drug use, don't share needles, wash your hands..the biggest rule of all was don't take a shot you don't know if you can handle. You can always do more. But if you do to much your done for. He broke his rule eventually one day, me and him both had scored big the night before, got a goddamn weeks worth of drugs like a thousand dollars worth between the both of us.
[3/3/2013 2:27:56 AM] Ebil: he would sometimes like shoot himself up, by this time i learned to shoot my own self up, so we would just do it together but he would joke and fall back on the bed, make spit come out of his mouth and shake pretending like he was ODing, but then get up laughing like "ohh I really had you going didn't I"
[3/3/2013 2:28:38 AM] Ebil: i would freak out the first few times but after a while it was like the boy who cried wolf i either didn't care or I was just nodding out (falling asleep because of the drugs) and didn't notice, so I never thought much of it after a while
[3/3/2013 2:30:05 AM] Ebil: but then, since we had this big stash of drugs he broke his rule. and he tried to see if he could handle a shot that he didn't know if he could or not. we hadn't even tested the batch out yet..your always supposed to test the quality of your shit. apparently we had strong shit, he fell back on the bed, started turning purple..making noise and I didn't think anything of it I was like ohhh stop its just annoying man
[3/3/2013 2:30:47 AM] Ebil: but he wasn't joking that time, that was his last shot, he died right there, suffocated to death
[3/3/2013 2:31:06 AM] Ebil: that was the end of him, but I still continued being an addict..robbing and stealing to get high and whatnot
[3/3/2013 2:32:06 AM] Ebil: people dying and shit never really phased me, it was just something that happened if you used needles..the thing that phases me the most is that I basically did the same thing to the girl I told you where I had found love except she never died
[3/3/2013 2:34:05 AM] Ebil: she liked to get fucked up, when I first met her she was an alcoholic and I was a pillhead/undercover needle user/heroin addict. we fell for eachother so hard it was like a game the first couple weeks, keeping up with eachother you know. I would try and keep up with the drinking, she would keep up with the pilling. It was ridiculous, we were both mostly just blacked out the first week or two of meeting eachother, the whole time falling just like madly the fuck in love with her
[3/3/2013 2:35:06 AM] Ebil: her drinking faded away and we just started pilling. i would talk about how I "used" to use needles and shit
[3/3/2013 2:36:22 AM] Ebil: one day we were at the drug store, and i had told her before it's so easy to get needles..you just ask for them behind the counter of the pharmacy. so she was like hey why don't you go buy some needles. I should have just said no right there and then, i told her like no...are you serious? really? so we did, and I shot her up for the first time
[3/3/2013 2:37:18 AM] Ebil: her brain is just like mine..whatever is on the table, so she did the same thing and we fell in love with it and eachother together. eventually we moved past shooting up the pills, i had told her you know i can get shit way better and cheaper than these fucking pills
[3/3/2013 2:38:01 AM] Ebil: i was paying for it all at first, i sold pounds and pounds of weed and hardly smoked any at all, maybe a bowlpack at night before bed so I was making shitloads of money so affording the addiction was no problem
[3/3/2013 2:38:52 AM] Ebil: but eventually I broke into my dealers house, stole nearly 5,000 dollars from him and a couple pounds of weed and he pretty much knew it was me but couldn't really prove it..he was the guy who got me my job landscaping so you can bet I lost that damn job
[3/3/2013 2:39:20 AM] Ebil: after losing the job and losing my dealer I didn't have any source of money after the cash from the robbery ran out
[3/3/2013 2:40:05 AM] Ebil: she had a beloved savings account, before she met me she was the best money saver ever..never splurged, if she used savings money she replaced it the next paycheck. she had almost like 25 grand and that is not god damn bad for a 22 year old lol
[3/3/2013 2:40:54 AM] Ebil: but we moved onto the savings account to afford our drugs, that lasted a fucking long time a good coiple of months. eventually we were using like 5, 6 7 hundred a day in heroin or capsules
[3/3/2013 2:41:43 AM] Ebil: every thousand she lost in her savings she would say ohhh ok im not letting it go below that, but we did after a day or so of experiencing hellish withdrawals
[3/3/2013 2:41:49 AM] Ebil: like make you wanna kill yourself withdrawal lol
[3/3/2013 2:42:52 AM] Ebil: we would "quit" here and there, sometimes only 2 days before we would go back to it..never really lasted a week but eventtuallly we managed our addiction and would not use nearly as much, only a couple days of the week
[3/3/2013 2:43:45 AM] Ebil: i lost her a couple time, all because of addiction and it was just serious heartbreak. I'm so fucking attached to the girl i love her more than my mom or dad, any family she is number one on my list i dont give a fuck who you are i love her the most so when i lost her i just wanted to kill myself and that was it
[3/3/2013 2:44:28 AM] Ebil: the first time i lost her we got high, but I was being stingey and watered her shit down really bad, watering her shit down makes it look like the same amount is in each needle but one is alot more potent
[3/3/2013 2:46:45 AM] Ebil: so after getting high she was a little bit high and I just passed the fuck out..my heart stopped beating and i stopped breathing that night but that was after she left..when I woke up I freaked the fuck out and found out she left me. later on she said she was looking at me and it made her reflect on her life, what i had done to her, and that she just didn't need the lifestyle. she didn't either, I should have just let her leave but I dragged her back..it's like I have a rope around her and it's not right..at all. To this day I feel like I should just cut the rope and let her go, even though we are sober..but I just cant
[3/3/2013 2:47:40 AM] Ebil: after getting her back and stuff, we still continued to get high and eventually her 25 grand life savings was just gone. all into our veins..just ridiculous right? tens of thousands of dollars just shoved into your veins like what the fuck is that bullshit..
[3/3/2013 2:48:00 AM] Ebil: pretty recently, and whats been keeping me sober I lost her again
[3/3/2013 2:49:17 AM] Ebil: she went to her sisters house and they all get drunk as shit there, she just blurted out everything the whole story to her sister so they took her phone, they were going to move her far far away from me, she broke up with me and it was like for real this time..I was totally heartbroken and I realized this time I can't just pull on the rope..she cut it her damn self..with her familys help.
[3/3/2013 2:53:22 AM] Ebil: during our time of drugging she had even overdosed more than a couple times, I would never take her to the hospital I would just revive her on my own but she was out cold for like a straight 10 minutes once, heart barely beating, hardly breathing..she never thought anything of it but that was because she was just passed out in her mind, I was the one who was awake trying to bring her back to life like literally like jeez
[3/3/2013 2:54:10 AM] Ebil: so i finally realized like god damn what the fuck am I doing what the fuck did I do..i did the same thing the guy XX did to me, except I did it to a girl that I truly and passionatly love
[3/3/2013 2:56:04 AM] Ebil: and like ten times worse. so I begged and pleaded, told her I'd do whatever I had to do..I got clean..did the whole detoxing thing, went to a rehab, got into a program..still working on the full time job and she did come back, were not official right now and it's a secret to her family that she even speaks to me but it's a start..
[3/3/2013 2:58:52 AM] Ebil: the thing that gets me most is that i've implanted this addiction into her brain, the opiate rush, the needle fixation. I'm clean myself but still every once in a while she likes to get high. I'll get mad at her, she still calls herself clean because "it's only percocets"...any and all opiates are the same, heroin is just from the street and percocets and morphines and opanas are just doctor prescribed pill heroin shes just in denial about it. i hate myself that she still continues to put her life in danger and do the drugs that i introduced her to. I will fix it eventually, I've set my heart on making all of it right, and making all of it better
[3/3/2013 3:00:17 AM] Ebil: out of all of it i found a girl that I love. that's more than what most addicts can say. most of them just end up dying. I actually got a girl that I love I mean shit. Which makes me think that there is a light at the end of the tunnel..the tunnel is just miles and miles away and the ground is covered in broken glass