Alright, my turn to ask for some advice.
So, my dad and I have a pretty up and down relationship. We're a lot alike, but we clash a lot too.
He's always tried to force me to have a relationship with his new family since he remarried and I just DON'T fit in. I've tried, they suck.
Anyway, over a month ago I asked if my dad would be available for lunch for Father's Day. Wanted to thank him for some help he's given me lately and just have a nice time together. He never answered me.
3 days ago, he calls and tells me my half sister will be getting in contact with me to tell me what the plan is for Father's Day. I wasn't asked to help plan, I'm not even allowed to help pay, my sister's doing it all...I don't know. I feel like the whole day is about them and I'm just a third wheel. None of the things they have planned are things I'd normally want to do or be involved in. It's awkward and it makes me feel like the reject kid.
Am I an ass for not wanting to go? Should I go? Should I even say anything about how I'm feeling?
This might seem stupid but I'm at a total loss. Any suggestions on how to handle this would be very much appreciated.
You're not an ass but you should go - it's not worth making things worse by upsetting your dad by no-showing.
But you also definitely need to say something about how you're feeling (not on father's day, but soon after). Just explain that you feel like you don't fit in even though you've tried and I'm sure your dad will understand and try to do something about it
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Thanks. I was beginning to feel stupid for posting lol.
Originally Posted by nayfeee
I wasn't sure if talking would even help. He basically tells me it's my problem when something's upsetting me. Which, I guess it is but...isn't he somewhat at fault too for making his daughters compete over him? Ugh.
I feel so childish for caring, but it's my dad. Guess I always will.
- Rep Power
@nayfeee, you have some good wisdom sir.
Let me lay my opinion down. I think you should go to prove you want to be involved. It's not going to be a very valid argument to say you want to be involved if you don't show up for the event
I know sibling rivalry very well, and just remember who the day is supposed to be about and don't let it get to you. I know you well, and I know you care more than you want to admit even, so keep your chin up and be honest about the way you feel with both of them, but definitely go!
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Originally Posted by Federation
Yeah, I know going proves something about me wanting to be involved. I guess it's because my dad has done nothing but talk about how disappointed he is in my sister, how she wants nothing to do with him, etc. Then when she finally gives a shit, she's the golden child.
Sigh. This is why I never wanted siblings! I hate competition. xD
I think you should go just to show you do care about your dad. My parents are separated right now and my dad asked my brother and I to go out for dinner with his new girlfriend, so I'm kinda in an awkward situation too. I want to go just to be nice but my dad and I were never close anyways so I'm not. If you want to have a good relationship with your dad I would go, if I were you.
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My father's wife hates me, which is awkward. I'm pretty sure she's been putting things in my sister's head to hate me too, or at least make her more motivated to make it a competition for my dad's attention. Idk.
Originally Posted by juliaxo
It's hard to just force a relationship between two people who clearly have issues and never see each other to try and work them out. I probably will go, especially after all the opinions here, it just sucks feel like you're not good enough for one of your parents of all people.
Best of luck meeting your dad's new gf! We haven't spoken really, but you seem very nice, so what's not to like? :3
I actually don't think I'm gonna go. She knows my parents are separated, but just the fact that she's dating my dad but he's still married to my mom makes me really pissed off, and I'm bad with controlling my anger, so I wouldn't want to make a scene at dinner or something.
Originally Posted by Ren.
Oh I didn't even think about that. Awkward. There's people I know who are married but not living together and they're just dating other people. Have been for months now. I'm like wtf, do you guys not know what it means to get divorced? Bleh. Everyone's different I guess.
Originally Posted by juliaxo
i guess you should go, it will be good and i guess you should say what you feel