Originally Posted by
Mod
Here's what you do:
1. Buy a glock.
2. Wait around a busy street until you see a cable company van drive by, then stop them and pull them over.
3. Get inside the rear seat and point the glock to the employees' heads.
4. You have 2 options now:
1) Calmly and sternly tell them they are turning around to drive to your pad and are going to hook up cable internet for you.
2) SCREAM IN THEIR EARS THAT THEY'RE GONNA HOOK UP YOUR INTERNET OR YOU'RE GONNA POP THEIR FUCKIN' HEADS LIKE BALLOONS!
5. Keep the glock behind them and monitor for funny business.
6. Tell them to slowly get out of the van with the required tools, modem, and router, while concealing the glock under your jacket.
7. Lead them to your apartment from behind, throw your keys to one of them and tell them to slowly open the door.
8. Lead them (from behind) to where the hook-up is to take place, maintain glock to their backs and sit down to watch as they install.
9. Once you've verified the installation is complete, lead them to the front of your door, tell them if they turn around, they are done.
10. Safety on your glock, place it under your belt, shake their hands with a big smile and wish them a good night.
11. Shut the front door and enjoy your internet, on-the-spot.