*walks out of washroom after jerking off*
"Hmm, I have 20,000 tickets to go through, I'd better get to work! Don't want to get caught behind or fired!"
"First ticket, let's see...TL;DR. Next. I bet guilty."
*copy/paste GG reply*
"Next. Don't feel like it, I'll mark this ticket for 14 months later." (check for next 500 tickets)
"Oh wow, I've been working so hard for the past 5 minutes! Gone through 500+ tickets! I deserve another break, maybe hit up that hot piece of ass 2 cubicles down."
*1 hour later*
"Back to work, but wow, it's noon already! I'm starving, can't work like this, off to lunch for me!"
*2 hours later*
"Alright, let's do this! I'm the best damn support staff there is! Hmm, next 500 tickets I marked a 14 months ago to look over again today. Ah well, too late to retrieve accounts from servers anyways"
*copy/paste 'too late' reply, forward to 500 tickets*
"Wow I'm beat! Still have another 3 hours before home time...but I did process ~1,000 tickets today. Management should be giving me a raise for my speedy hard work instead! I'll pick this up tomorrow and punch out early."
*incoming tickets for the day: 1,500*
"Hey errrbody! Have a wonderful night, see y'all tomorrow!"