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Thread: Review my Introduction to Essay?

  1. #1

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    Review my Introduction to Essay?

    In 8th grade, need to right an introduction for LA.:
    Topic: Set a goal, and what you do to achieve goal
    Introduction: Get into Harvard

    I glanced at the envelope with nothing but pure amazement. I, the underdog, had received a response from one of the most prestigious universities in the world, Harvard. I slowly raised the envelope and started to tear away the seal. I beheld the letter and gasped, in plain twelve-point font, it was printed that I had been accepted. Getting accepted to Harvard would mean the world to me, but the only way I could get accepted to Harvard would be to stay healthy, get great grades, and do many challenging extracurricular activities.

    will +rep
    Last edited by Flame; 01-15-2013 at 06:29 PM.

  2. #2

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    Firstly, is this an essay, or a story? I ask, because the intro looks like a personal account, done in first person (you), and very expressive in action.

    Secondly, is there a length requirement for the intro? Or any other requirements, for that matter?

    Thirdly, (if this is an essay), is there a thesis statement requirement? If you don't know what a "thesis" is, then it's not important.

    Sorry if I'm going overboard off the bat, I expect the requirements for an 8th grade assignment to be very lax comapared to a high school/college essay; I don't know the extent your teacher requires from you.
    (for the record, I didn't write my first *essay* until 9th grade, and that thing is a lol-joke compared to what a proper essay is, looking back on it)

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