How I feel about the stuff that goes on here.

[Becka]

I try to make friends and I try to act like everyone else and all I get is fucking abused by people. I am sick of it. Why the heck do I even bother trying.. I just wanted to belong in a big community and have friends here and all I get is crap thrown at me.. I came here really nice and helpful maybe a little too helpful because I was used to it, and after I tried joining in with the jokes which only led me to getting abused by every fucking person here except for a few like.. JLK and a few people I know elsewhere..

It really effects me that you all say this shit to me, when I can't say it to anyone else.. I can't do ANYTHING without getting trolled or stabbed in the back by bullying, I'm a really nice person and lots of people can tell you that too but this is fucking getting me upset.

Please can we all try start fresh? I don't know what I can do to help.. I don't know what I can do to be friends with people because it's hard for me.. I don't know why.. I have been USED in the past for being nice, I gave away really good UC's daily to people that I hardly knew because I was generous and too kind for my own good..

But it's really effecting me badly.. I just need to show that I don't mean things I say, it's just because I'm trying to fit in with everyone else :/ I have a soft heart, and I get upset fast and easily and the things being said about me just.. I've actually been crying for the past 10 minutes. To tell you the truth.

I just want to belong in this community, not be mentally drawn out for being different or not popular.. I just want to get along with everyone, I want to be the one that receives the hearts and community love too. Except I'm swept in a corner..

I just want everyone to realise that I'm sorry for everything I've actually said or done to people that's upset them and I want them to know that it effects me lots more when they say stuff. I've always tried my best to fit in or join in with the quirkiness of the forum..

Sincerely,

Beck